


When One Door Closes

by whcalmwaves



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-17 21:49:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 48,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5886592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whcalmwaves/pseuds/whcalmwaves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When one door closes, another one opens. But how does one find the courage to approach another door, when the closure of the first left wounds that refused to heal?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Heartbreak

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at an AU and a multi-chaptered story. I hope you will like it.

It was a lovely summer day. As Fernando returned to his office after a long day of consultations, ward duties, meetings plus a few new borns, he could finally sit down to catch his breathe. It was a crazy day, even more then usual in his often hectic life as a paediatrician cum neonatologist in one of London’s largest hospital. He could not even remember if he had taken his lunch but he was thankful for the hustle and bustle of the day. For Fernando could remember, even if he could not recall if he had eaten or not, what day it was. It was the 27th of July, just two days to his birthday. A day which in past years were usually filled with beautiful moments which he cherished even now. Unfortunately for him, since last year, this day could only bring forth painful memories. The night before he was even quite apprehensive about how he could get through the next day, and god forbid if he should run into him.

Fernando sighed, he had to stop thinking about him. It served no purpose other than to hurt himself. He could still remember vividly the pain that he felt when it happened, the shock and disbelief, the refusal to accept, and the heart wrenching feeling overwhelming him when he finally realised that it was for real. Till this day, exactly one year later, Fernando could still feel the heartbreak all too keenly.

He tried to relax by leaning back on his chair. He could feel the warm summer sunshine from the window just behind his desk. The warmth helped to soothe him somewhat. He closed his eyes and tried to channel his thoughts elsewhere, and as usual he thought about his work, his many young patients whom he always worked tirelessly to help. This was enough to channel his thoughts back to the present, as Fernando started to immerse himself in sorting out some paperwork that he had not had the time to do. 

A sharp knock on his door was quickly followed by it opening. The smiling face of Jenson Button beamed at him. Jenson was a colleague working in the same hospital but in a different specialty. He was a radiologist, and they knew each other since medical school, with Jenson one year his senior. The Brit was an easy going guy who was fun to be around, and very popular amongst the doctors and nurses. Jenson was a hard worker but he knew how to have fun as well. He would sometimes organise get togethers for a group of doctors, the younger ones who tend to have similar interests. Fernando had joined them occasionally but Jenson sometimes nagged at him that he did not come often enough.

“Hey Fernando! It’s time, let’s go. Get your nose out of your files and come quick!”

“Sorry, go where, Jenson? We have a meeting together this evening?” Fernando genuinely could not remember where he was supposed to go with Jenson.

The Brit did an exaggerated facepalm. “Arghh, trust you to forget! It’s time for our get together with some of the guys here. Remember? You promised to come!”

“Oh, that!” Fernando looked rather guilty as he had completely forgotten about it. He didn’t really want to go. All he wanted was to finish his work, go home and be alone. He tried to come up with an excuse but Jenson gave him that sort of don’t-bail-out-on-me-last-minute type of look, and Fernando knew that Jenson would not let him off. He thought to himself that he would join them for an hour or so and then head home. So he nodded and told Jenson that he would meet him in 10 minutes. In any case, it was probably better that he had something to distract himself for a little while, than to be left alone with all his thoughts this particular evening, Fernando told himself as he started to pack up for the day.

Fernando did not drive to work that day so he took a ride from Jenson. They chatted a bit about where they were going and the people who would be there. They were going to a nice pub which served pretty good food that they had been a couple of times before, with the usual group of young doctors from their hospital. Jenson told Fernando that there would be one newcomer to the group, the new cardiologist Mark Webber, who joined the hospital just a couple of months ago. Fernando remembered him well. Their first encounter was a bit embarrassing for the Spaniard as he carelessly bumped into Mark as he was running to attend to an emergency situation at a new-born delivery. He had subsequently several encounters with him for work matters and he left a very good impression on Fernando, with his excellent skills and knowledge in his field. Fernando also secretly thought that Mark was very attractive, being the classically tall, dark and handsome type, with a fun sense of humour thrown in for good measure. He was looking forward to a nice evening with the guys and perhaps he might have the chance to get to know Mark better too.

When they got to the pub, the rest of the gang were already there. Jenson gleefully announced that Fernando would be buying everyone a round of drinks as he was such a rare guest, which was greeted with enthusiasm. Soon everyone settled down with food and drinks, and the evening was going well with much chatter and laughter as they relaxed from their busy schedules for the day. Fernando was having a nice chat with Jenson and Mark who were seated near him.. Mark was telling them some amusing stories about his surfing days at the beautiful beaches along the Australian coast, his native country. Fernando felt himself relaxing in the company and started to think that it was really a good idea to join in the gathering tonight.

Just then, Fernando caught sight of someone very familiar to him, standing somewhere near the bar area. A mop of golden hair that he knew all too well. His heart sunk. Perhaps it was not such a good idea to come after all. For Kimi was here, and together with someone else. Kimi’s arm was wrapped around a younger man’s waist while his other hand was holding on to a drink. The couple was chatting happily together, with Kimi smiling ever so often at his companion, his trademark lopsided grin which Fernando remembered so well. All at once the feelings of hurt and pain that Fernando had tried so hard to suppress over the past year surfaced and washed all over him. He was powerless to prevent it, as he was transported in his mind to the years past.

The 27th of July had always been a special day for Fernando since over ten years ago. It was the day when he first met Kimi all those years ago. Fernando had completed his first year in medical school in England just before summer. He went home to Spain for a few weeks and returned early to attend some preparatory courses for the second year. The summer course schedule was much less intensive than the usual term so Fernando took the chance to enjoy the sights in a country still new to him. It was at an outing together with some friends from medical school that he was introduced to Kimi.

Kimi was from Finland and being two years older than Fernando was his senior in medical school, although they had never met until that day. Fernando was in general rather shy and reserved, while Kimi was outwardly one of few words. However, the pair of them hit it off quite immediately. They chatted and as they found out more about each other, they found that they had a lot to talk about despite the differences in their backgrounds. At the end of the outing, both felt quite reluctant to part. They shared contact details and promised to catch up again soon. 

Little did Fernando suspect that it would be quite so soon. That very evening, Kimi turned up at his door and presented him with a small chocolate cake, saying that it was an advance celebration of Fernando’s birthday. Earlier in the day, the Spaniard had mentioned his birthday as they were talking about what they usually did in summer back home. Fernando mentioned that his parents and sister always arranged for a nice celebration for him in summer on his birthday but he would be all alone this year. Kimi picked up on the sadness in his voice and decided to give him a nice surprise by getting him a cake to celebrate. Fernando was very touched by Kimi’s sweet gesture. From then on, they became good friends and went out together frequently, sometimes with a group and often just the two of them. 

Their relationship grew quickly, from being good friends to being a couple, it just seemed like a natural progression. The day of July 27th continued to be a special day for them as it was the day when they committed to each other as a couple, one year after their first meeting. During their student years, it was difficult to maintain their relationship at times, given their very heavy course load as medical students, but they were young and so in love with each other that it was easy to resolve any difficulty. Things got a bit more complicated as they took their turns to graduate and became junior medical officers in public hospitals. The hours were beyond crazy. By then Fernando had moved in with Kimi, and living together allowed them a bit more precious time together. Both of them then embarked on each of their specialty training, Kimi trained to be an anaesthetist while Fernando specialised in paediatrics. When both of them finally became full fledge specialist doctors, they have been together for more then ten years. Through the years, they always celebrated their anniversary and Fernando’s birthday on 27th July. Once Fernando had asked Kimi why he came with the cake on the day that they first met instead of coming to look for him on his actual birthday two days later. He answered that it was simply because he had so wanted to see Fernando again right after they have parted as it was love at first sight for him and celebrating his birthday was the perfect excuse to see him again soon. Fernando was both amused and touched by Kimi’s answer. Knowing that the Finn had fallen in love with him on that first day made the 27th of July even more special for Fernando.

The few years after both of them started their careers as specialist doctors proved to be even more challenging for their relationship. While Kimi could manage to keep to relatively sane hours given the nature of his specialty, Fernando was a bit less successful in balancing his work life with home life. The Spaniard spent most of his time in the hospital that he now worked for. His regular job as a paediatrician was demanding and hectic, plus the occasions where he had to attend to emergencies even after hours, meant that he had little time to spend with Kimi. They had quite a few arguments due to this, but to Fernando it was normal. To him, they were like an old married couple now, and having the occasional arguments and sometimes not speaking much to each other was a normal phase in life. After so many years of being together, he assumed that their relationship would remain the same as always, sometimes perhaps with a little less passion, but they would always be together.

It was approaching their anniversary again. Unfortunately they had a big argument a few days ago. Fernando had again missed an appointment with Kimi due to an emergency in the hospital which made the latter uncharacteristically angry, claiming that all he cared about was his work. Fernando argued that it was not true and said Kimi should understand given that he himself was a doctor. They did not speak to each other for a few days after the argument.

Fernando knew that he was in the wrong as it was not the first time that he missed their dates due to work. Through the years, Kimi had always been the cool and calm one, and it was only lately that he had voiced his unhappiness with Fernando seldom being at home. He would need to make up to Kimi and show that he truly cared about him. As it was coming to their anniversary again, Fernando decided that it was the right time for him to show his commitment and for them to progress to a more formal status for their relationship. They had not really discussed marriage before as both of them were just happy to be with the other, but deep down Fernando always wanted to get married to his partner. It would be the perfect opportunity for him to propose to Kimi on their special day. It would show the Finn his love and commitment to their relationship and Kimi would be so happy, thought Fernando.

He secretly went about planning the big surprise. He made a reservation at their favourite restaurant, booking a table at a cosy private corner and ordered a special menu of Kimi’s favourite food and champagne. He also had a pair of rings custom made for them. The rings were made of white gold and had a simple elegant design with their initials K&F and their special date 27th July inscribed on the inside. Fernando was so excited for the day, it would mark a new beginning for them and both of them would be so happy.

On that day itself, Fernando made sure that he had nothing on his schedule that would keep him in the hospital beyond five in the evening. He had already arranged with Kimi to meet at the restaurant, without giving the Finn any hint about his plans, and told him that it was just a simple meal together. He planned to get home to shower and change after work, so that he could look his best before proceeding to meet Kimi at the restaurant.

Alas, the best laid plans could and did go awry and Fernando did not manage to leave the hospital early due to another emergency situation. Fortunately, it only meant that he forgo his plans for returning home and had to go straight to the restaurant. Still, he was about twenty mins late. Kimi was already there waiting for him. He looked rather irritated and already had a drink in hand.

“Sorry, I’m late, Kimi. Emergency situation,” Fernando said apologetically.

“As usual. But at least you turned up, Fernando,” Kimi said rather coldly. 

Fernando sensed his unhappiness as he called him by the long form of his first name, instead of the usual Nano that he had been using through the years. He knew that he could not let the situation worsen and again apologised profusely. Kimi waved it away and told him that he had something he wished to tell him.

Fernando was intrigued. What would Kimi want to tell him? Could it be that Kimi had the same idea as him? He reached into his jacket pocket to touch the little box with the rings, and felt very excited at the thought.

“Oh, I have something I need to tell you too, Kimi. But you first!” Fernando said with a smile.

Kimi, however, was not smiling. He looked rather sad in fact, and his eyes were cold as he looked at Fernando silently. The Spaniard grew uneasy and concerned with this look.

“What’s wrong, Kimi? You look so unhappy. Are you all right?”

The Finn sighed. Finally he responded, “Yes, I am all right…” 

He paused to take a deep breath and the words rushed forth, “No no scratch that, I am not all right. We are not all right. We have not been all right for a long time. We have drifted so far apart these few years. It’s like we are strangers. I don’t know you anymore. There doesn’t seem to be anything left in our relationship. There is no us anymore.”

Kimi did not raise his voice and except for a hint of agitation, he said those words in his usual calm cool tone. But each word hit Fernando like a bullet. He was shocked. He opened his mouth to say something but no words would form.

“I think you know as well as I that we cannot continue like this. I think it is best we go our separate ways from now on.”

Fernando felt as if something extremely heavy had hit him. He felt dazed and could only shake his head. When he finally found his voice, he pleaded, “No, no please, Kimi, it cannot be like this, no!”

“I’ve made up my mind, Fernando. This is really the best for both of us. It will be more painful to drag this on and split up later on.”

“But we don’t have to split, we have been together for so long!” 

“Yes, for so long, too long I guess. There is no spark in our relationship. All we have to talk about is work and more work.”

“Sorry, I know it’s my fault. I can change. I will try to…”

“No, Fernando. It will not work. You can’t be happy if you have to change to suit me, just as I am not happy trying to suit you. We have grown out of our relationship, and it’s time to move on.”

Fernando wanted to protest further, but Kimi gave him such a look of determination and finality, and said, “Goodbye Fernando.” 

He stood up and left, without another look. Fernando tried to get up to chase after him, but he could not move. He was still in shock.

This could not be. This was supposed to be their special day when he proposed and Kimi would accept and they would both be so happy. How did it turn out like that? He could still feel the ring box sitting in his jacket pocket. But Kimi was gone. How could this happen?

Fernando did not know how long he sat at the table. Finally a waiter tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention. The waiter looked at him sympathetically and asked whether he would like the food and champagne to be served. Fernando could only shake his head. He made payment for the uneaten meal and left the restaurant, feeling totally bewildered by this shocking turn of events.

He walked aimlessly on the streets feeling dazed, not knowing how long it was, where to go or what to do. He could not come to terms with what happened. An idea suddenly occurred to him. Maybe this was just a joke that Kimi played on him to punish him for all the missed appointments and neglect. Kimi was probably now sitting at home and waiting to laugh at him once he got back. Yes, it had to be. With that desperate thought Fernando rushed back to their apartment. There was no sign of Kimi however. As Fernando walked into their room, he realised that all of the Finn’s things were missing. He opened the wardrobe. Kimi’s clothes were all gone. He had probably packed up all his belongings in the day before meeting Fernando. He was determined to go, it seemed. It was then that reality hit and Fernando sank to floor and sobbed. Kimi had left him, on this special day that he was about to propose. Their special day when they first met, when Kimi fell in love with him at first sight, when they got together as a couple, when they celebrated so many special moments together all through their long relationship. There was now nothing left for Fernando. Kimi’s love was no more.

All that happened one year ago. Fernando had tried to call and text Kimi many times after that night. The separation had come so abruptly for him, he could not understand how it could happened. He needed to talk to Kimi in hope of salvaging the broken relationship, but he received no reply at all. They had come across each other in the hospital on a few occasions when Kimi had cases to attend to at the hospital, but he had resolutely avoided talking to Fernando. Given the nature of the Finn’s specialisation, he was not attached to only one hospital but would work at different places depending on the cases requiring his expertise. As such, Fernando could not know when and where he would appear at the hospital. In any case, the hospital was too public a setting to be talking about their private matters. The Spaniard persisted in trying to contact Kimi via phone for a while, until one day he received a curt reply via text from the latter, a simple sentence saying “Do not contact me anymore”. By then, Fernando had to give up any hope of reuniting with his partner of over ten years. 

However, seeing Kimi today with someone else was too much for Fernando to bear. It was like the Finn had totally forgotten this special day that had been so important to them in the past years and it had meant nothing to him. Fernando felt like his old wounds were ripped open and they hurt just as intensely as one year ago. He had to do something to numb this pain. He grabbed his glass of wine, one that he had been slowly nursing up till then as he was not a strong drinker, and downed it all in one gulp. He then poured himself another and downed that too. He could feel the alcohol rushing to his head and the numbing sensation felt good. He started on another glass. By then Jenson and Mark had noticed his change of behaviour. Jenson tried to stop him and ask him to go slow but still Fernando finished his third glass all too quickly. When Jenson asked if he was all right, he pretended to smile and said he was just enjoying this rare evening where he could relax. He looked for more to drink but Jenson had, with the help of Mark, placed the bottles out of his reach.

By then, Kimi was already gone. Fernando saw him holding the hand of his companion as they left the pub together. Kimi did not see him, or perhaps he pretended that he had not seen him, he thought bitterly. He decided to get himself something stronger at the bar so he made an excuse that he was heading to the toilet. He stood at the bar and ordered himself a whisky on the rocks. The strong liquor burned his throat and he could feel himself getting light-headed. It was such great feeling, as he could feel the pain slowly ebbing away. He ordered another and downed that too. As he was drinking his third, someone tapped him on the shoulder. It was Jenson, who looked at him with great concern and asked him what was wrong. By then, Fernando could only mumble something about feeling free and happy and wanting to drink more. Jenson knew he was drunk and dragged him back to the table. 

Fernando did not remember much of what happened after that. He vaguely recalled trying to get more to drink but did not know if he was successful or not. He remembered himself stumbling out of the pub but he did not fall. A pair of strong arms supported him. He did not know how he got home, maybe the owner of the pair of strong arms kindly sent him home. He could not remember who it was. 

All he remembered the next day, as he awoken with a splitting headache, was he had a pleasant dream despite his ordeal the night before. He dreamt that Kimi was there with him at the apartment. Kimi took care of him and gently laid him on the bed, making sure he was tucked in warmly under the covers. The dream was so real, he felt Kimi gently running his fingers through his hair like he used to do so, and stayed to let him hold on to his hand as he pleaded to him not to go. It was so real that Fernando thought he could still feel the warmth of his touch the next day. Something that he missed so desperately. Yet he knew that it was not real, it was just a dream. Yesterday’s encounter at the pub was yet another proof that Kimi had moved on without him. He was all alone. The reality of it hurt too much and his tears flowed anew.


	2. Getting To Know You

After that night, Fernando vowed that he would never indulge in drinks again. Besides the splitting headache, he was alarmed at how unraveled he was and how close he was to exposing his emotions in front of his colleagues that night. Even after the pain of last year’s separation, Fernando had kept a tight lid on his emotions in public and never let it interfere his work. In private when he was on his own was the only time he allowed his feelings to show. He was determined to put all thoughts of this failed relationship behind him and focus solely on what he decided was the only thing important to him from now on, his work at the hospital.

Fernando had always been very committed to his work. Since the break up last year, he had buried himself in work in a bid to escape from free time which often resulted in painful recollections of a happier past. Now more then ever, he was spending so much time at work that almost all his waking hours were spent there. He would even turn up at the hospital on his off days. It was tiring but it suited him just fine. He did not have to think about anything else.

The days passed quickly. During this time, Fernando had the opportunity to work closely with Mark on several cases involving young patients with heart issues. The Australian’s professionalism and brilliance as a cardiologist left him with very good impression, but even more so he found Mark’s compassion for his patients and his wonderful bed side manner admirable.

There was a case where they worked together on a young baby girl with congenital heart disease that further confirmed such positive impressions. Fernando was the paediatrician for this patient since birth and had been working with another cardiologist on her case. As the baby was too young to receive invasive treatment for the disease, her parents had been waiting for her to grow older before performing surgery. However, the health for the baby had been adversely affected. When Mark took over the case from his colleague, he reviewed the details very carefully and had many discussions with Fernando on the best course of action. He also met up with the parents and patiently explained the options available. When they finally opted for surgery , Mark did his best to assuage their fears but at the same time was truthful and honest to the parents in his assessment of situation.

During the surgery, Fernando was present as the attending paediatrician. He witnessed how Mark was able to perform the delicate operation with brilliant skill and yet remained extremely calm, even cracking a few jokes when some on the team were getting a bit nervous due to the difficulty of the operation. Fernando could remember so well the look of joy and gratitude on the parents’ face when told that the operation was a success as they thanked him and Mark profusely. From then on, he considered Mark as one of the best doctors he had ever had the chance to work with.

Besides getting to know Mark on a professional level, there was another occasion which allowed Fernando to know him better on a personal basis. It was a rainy night after work as Fernando was caught out in a heavy downpour. He had gone for a run but unfortunately injured his ankle as he ran into a bicycle while thinking about a case. His ankle hurt but he had to make his way back to the hospital as he left his keys and wallet in the office. As he was walked slowly in the heavy rain, someone in a car by the road wound down the window and started waving at him. Fernando could not see who it was in the heavy rain and was wondering what was happening when the driver came out of the car with an umbrella towards him. It was Mark and he insisted on giving him a ride. They ended up going to Mark’s place as the way back to the hospital was jammed up. 

The evening went really well; Mark was thoughtful and considerate towards him. He made sure Fernando was warm and dry, and checked on his injured ankle. Then he asked him to stay for dinner which was a delicious soup that he cooked, just perfect for weather, and they had a wonderful conversation as they ate. They found out that they had many common areas of interest and Fernando thoroughly enjoyed getting to know Mark. He could not remember the last time he was so relaxed and comfortable in someone else’s company. They were so engrossed in talking to each other that Fernando did not realise that it was well past ten until he happened to glance at his watch. It was still pouring outside but he knew he could not impose on Mark further. However, the Australian asked him to stay to save him the trouble of going back to the hospital to retrieve his things and further strain his ankle. While Fernando felt rather awkward about troubling Mark, he was touched by his thoughtfulness and eventually agreed. He was also happy to have more time to spend with him as the evening was such a pleasant one. They spent some time relaxing in front of the TV, catching up on an F1 race. As they watched the race and commented on it, again Fernando found that Mark had some many interesting and intelligent points of view that he could never get bored with talking to him. When the time came to turn in for the night, Mark made sure he was comfortable as he settled on the long couch with pillow and blankets to keep him warm. Fernando fell asleep quickly and had a good night’s sleep. 

He woke up the next morning to the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and pancakes cooking on the stove. Mark had gotten up early to prepare breakfast. After breakfast, he insisted on sending Fernando back to the hospital to retrieve his things and then drove him home after that. He could only thank Mark again for all that he had done for him and offered to buy him dinner another time which the Australian readily accepted.

After he left, Fernando felt a strange sense of missing his company almost immediately. He began to feel an attraction towards Mark, but he tried to reason to himself that it was because he had such a enjoyable time with him. Mark was kind and considerate towards him, something that he had missed since last year as he had not allowed anyone to be near him privately, but it was just a friendly time spent together, nothing more. In any case, Mark could not be in any way attracted to him. The Australian was so good looking and successful, there was no way he was unattached. While he himself was barely recovering from a broken relationship. A relationship that lasted so long but ended because he had failed so badly. Fernando had thought through many times how and why his relationship with Kimi failed. To him, everything pointed towards him being the one at fault. He had taken Kim for granted and neglected his feelings, while he had selfishly only thought about himself and his career. He had stupidly assumed that Kimi would always be there for him. The Finn must have hated him so much to want to end their relationship so determinedly, not wanting to spend a single moment with him once they broke up. Fernando blamed himself for not seeing the separation coming. He was convinced that his failure in the relationship with Kimi meant that he was not fit to be involved in any other relationship as he was likely to be bringing hurt to the other and causing pain to himself eventually. Anyway, he had already decided earlier that he would only focus on his work and not think about anything else. With this mindset, Fernando was determined to suppress any feelings he might have and told himself not to think too much into the time that he had just spent with Mark.

It was soon late Fall and the end of the year was approaching. Fernando had made good his promise to Mark about buying him dinner but invited Jenson along. He told himself that he was not trying to avoid spending time alone with Mark since the latter was merely a friendly colleague to him. The dinner was normal socialisation amongst colleagues and Jenson being there would add to the fun. It did turned out to be fun and all three of them had a great time at dinner talking about something that they all loved, cycling, which prompted Mark to invite them to his house outside of London for a weekend to explore the biking trails, when the weather turned warmer.

After that dinner, Fernando did not have many opportunities to see Mark, as they did not handle more cases together. He was somewhat glad of it, as it meant that his thoughts did not have the chance to wander, as it sometimes did despite his best efforts to control them. 

It was another busy day in the hospital as Fernando finally managed to take a break and went to the staff cafeteria to look for some lunch. It was very crowded and as he got his food, he looked around for a seat. He caught sight of Mark at a table, waving at him, pointing towards the empty seat at his side. He nodded and walked towards him. It was then that he saw the person sat on his other side and it made Fernando stopped in his tracks. It was Kimi, sitting next to Mark. Fernando wanted to quickly walk away. He knew he would be the last person the Finn would want to sit with, and even after so long, he felt he was not up to seeing the cold look on Kimi’s face again. But it would look really strange if he walked away now, having acknowledged Mark’s gesture. There was nothing else he could do but walk up towards their table.

“Hi Fernando. I have not seen you for a while. How have you been?” Mark said.

Fernando sat down slowly and replied that he was doing fine.

“Fernando, this is Dr Räikkönen. We have just worked together on an op this morning. Dr Räikkönen, this is Dr Alonso,” Mark introduced his companions.

“Thanks Dr Webber. We actually know each other from before. From med school,” Kimi said simply.

Fernando did not know what to say. He could only nod, and said briefly, “ Hi, Kimi.” 

He sat down and pretended to concentrate on his food. He missed the look of realisation that dawned on Mark’s face.

They stayed silent for a while, before Kimi addressed Fernando again. 

“How have you been? You seem to have lost a lot of weight.”

Fernando was surprised that Kimi had asked after him, but he managed to reply lightly, “ I am doing fine. Guess it’s because of all the running about the wards, but I feel about the same as before.”

Kimi nodded. He looked thoughtful but did not say anything. Mark looked between them and broke the silence by talking about hospital food not being the most appetising and probably causing all of them to be slimmer, which was good for their health anyway.

Soon after, Kimi excused himself, saying that he had to go for his next appointment at another hospital. “Take care of yourself, Fernando,” he said and then bid both of them goodbye.

“Sorry, I didn’t know that you knew each other,” Mark started to say once Kimi left.

Fernando could sense the curiosity from Mark. He forced a smile and replied with nonchalance, “Yeah, we knew each other from medical school.”

They were saved from further conversation on the topic by Mark’s phone ringing. There was an urgent situation which required his attention, and he promptly left.

Fernando heaved a sigh of relief. The unexpected encounter with Kimi did not go that badly considering that it was the first time they spoke after they separated. The Finn was very cordial and even asked after him. Perhaps Kimi no longer resented him for causing their separation. Or he had simply gotten over their separation, as evident in what he saw at the pub that night in July. Whatever it was, Fernando thought that it was best that they acted as common and indifferent acquaintances. With time, maybe he could also forget about their time together and get over all the pain that the separation had brought him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This a short chapter but there is more on what happenened at the pub mentioned in chapter 1, and during the night at Mark's place mentioned in this chapter. It is written mainly from Mark's point of view and is posted separately http://archiveofourown.org/works/5848084


	3. Christmas Magic

It was a cold and crisp morning on Christmas Day as Fernando made his way to work. He had originally planned to go home for Christmas but just a few days before he was due to leave, one of his colleagues in the department had to return home due to an urgent situation. This left the team rather short-handed over the Christmas period. Fernando generously volunteered to take his place and stayed back to work. His parents were naturally disappointed not to see him over the holiday season, but he assured them that he would return home to visit shortly after the new year.

He had just stepped into his office for a few minutes and turned on his laptop when someone knocked on his door. The door opened to reveal the smiling face of Penny, a nurse from the paediatric ward, who had worked closely with Fernando since he joined the hospital.

“Feliz Navidad, Dr Alonso!” Penny greeted him enthusiastically. 

“Feliz Navidad, Penny! I hope you had a good time with your family on Christmas eve.” Fernando returned the greeting.

“Yes, I did. We had a wonderful dinner together. How about you? Your family is back in Spain?”

“Yes, they are. But I had a good time chatting with them on FaceTime last night.”

“Oh, I’m sure they miss having you back home. Tough that you cannot go home to celebrate the holidays, but it is really kind of you to volunteer to stay back to help out.”

“It’s nothing. You are working over the holidays too.” Fernando was always appreciative of the work by the nursing team.

“Well, I have a little something that will hopefully give you some Christmas cheer,” Penny said with a smile, as she handed to Fernando a mug of coffee that she was holding. She took a small box out of the tote that she was carry and handed it to him as well.

“For me? The coffee smells wonderful. What is this?” He held up the box.

“I got your favourite brew from the corner coffee shop. And these are some home-made cup cakes that I made for you.” Penny smiled sweetly.

"Oh, thank you so much!” Fernando opened the box and saw four delicious looking cup cakes beautifully decorated with a Christmas theme, “they look wonderful!”

“You’ re welcomed, Dr Alonso. It is just a little something to wish you a happy Christmas. You are always so nice to us.” 

Fernando had always been popular with the nurses because he treated them with respect and consideration. Every Christmas, he would send them thoughtful little gifts. This year was no different. Quite a few of them, like Penny, had returned the gesture with small gifts of their own.

“Oh, and one more thing. Would you like to put this on?” she took a red Christmas hat out of her bag, “ Adds to the Christmas cheer. The kids would love that.”

"Yeah, sure! It’s pretty tough for the children to stay in hospital during this time. It will be nice to cheer them up a little.” Fernando accepted the hat and gamely put it on.

“Well, I better get back to work. I hope you enjoy the coffee and cupcakes!” With that, Penny left his office.

Fernando started on his patient visits soon after. He had his Christmas hat on and greeted each patiently cheerfully with Christmas greetings. The children were naturally sad to be spending this special holiday in the hospital. Fernando did his best to cheer the children up as he went on the rounds together with his team of nurses. He even did little magic tricks, like conjuring up candy canes while examining the patients. The children were thrilled by the tricks and were more cooperative in receiving their medications from the nurses. The little magic that Fernando performed liven up the atmosphere and the patients were all smiling happily after he attended to them, which in turned helped to lift the mood of the parents and family who were with their child in the hospital.

As there was no clinic consultations and no meetings on Christmas day, Fernando could spend more time on his patient visits. The day passed quickly. In the late afternoon, as Fernando had completed most of the work for the day, Penny approached him and asked if he would consider performing more of his magic tricks at the children’s ward. The nurses knew that he was very good at these, in particular card tricks, and thought that it would be wonderful if the children could be treated to a little performance on Christmas. Some of the young patients were starting to fuss as their family left for the day and the nurses thought the performance could bring back some Christmas cheer to them.

Fernando was in two minds about performing in front of so many people, but he agreed in hope of helping to cheer the children up. He took a few minutes to plan the tricks he would perform and gathered the things he needed. He put on the Christmas hat again and as he approached the wards, he saw that the nurses had already set up a small table for his use. He prepared his things quickly and was soon ready. The children were all very excited as they looked on in anticipation. Despite being rather shy in person, Fernando was a wonderful performer. The children watched in glee as his deft hands conjured coins from behind their ears, pulled out flowers from his doctor’s coat, and made his stethoscope disappear in a hat, while cracking silly jokes at the same time, making the children laughed with delight. The atmosphere in the ward certainly turned very merry, as even parents and the nurses were laughing. He then moved on to his specialty – card tricks. The children had a lot fun with these tricks as he involved them in picking out the cards, then he pretended he could read their minds and picked out their choice. The final one involved a card picked out of three by a special magician helper, a lucky child picked by Fernando. The cards were shuffled back into the deck and the children were in awe as he managed to make the chosen card appear somewhere else. By then, a small crowd had appeared at the door to the ward to watch his performance. Everyone was smiling and chapping enthusiastically as the performance concluded. As the crowd cleared, Fernando noticed a familiar tall figure standing at the door, smiling at him. 

“Wow, I didn’t know you are quite the magician, mate.” It was Mark.

“Hola Mark! Merry Christmas! It was just something to amuse the kids.”

“Merry Christmas to you too, Fernando. It was a great show, you were awesome!”

Fernando blushed as he heard Mark’s praise and said rather shyly, “It was nothing. The nurses suggested that I perform some tricks to cheer the little kids up and I agreed. It’s so hard for the little ones to be here in a hospital on Christmas day.”

“Yeah, but you certainly helped to put some Christmas cheer back on their little faces.”

Mark looked back at the children who were still excited over the performance, as he helped Fernando packed up his things. 

“I didn’t expect to see you here today. Were you not planning to go back home for Christmas?” Mark continued the conversation as they walked back towards the Spaniard’s office. 

“I was, but a few days ago Dr Rosberg had to hurry home due to something urgent and we were shorthanded over the holidays. So I decided to stay back.”

“Oh, Nico? I heard it was because his own Nico broke his leg while skiing when he went back to visit his family in Germany, so Nico naturally wanted to fly back to be with his Nico.”

“Yeah, something like that. Though I got lost with which Nico you are talking about. I usually call the other Hulkie. Thankfully it was just a small fracture and Hulkie is well on the mend.” Fernando smiled at the way Mark referred to the two Nicos, who both worked in the hospital and were a cute couple who were always squabbling with one another, only to make up the next instant.

"Ah so thanks to Nico2, we were all able to witness some Christmas magic over here.”

Fernando felt rather bashful hearing his praise again, so he changed the topic and asked Mark why he was working on Christmas. He remembered that Mark had told him about not planning to fly back to Australia for Christmas as he was going to attend a medical conference back there in January. This would allow him to visit his parents for a few days so he was staying put over Christmas, but Fernando thought the Aussie would have Christmas day off.

“Well, yeah, since I am on my own here I thought I might as well do something useful and come to work.” 

“I see,” Fernando was a bit surprised to hear Mark say that he was on his own over Christmas.

“Say, mate,” Mark continued, “what are your plans for tonight?”

“Me? Oh er, nothing actually. I’m just heading home. Maybe catch something on TV and have an early night.” Fernando was a bit embarrassed to tell Mark about his non-existent social life on a day such as Christmas, but it was what it was.

“Really? I thought you will be heading to parties and all that.”

“Well, no. Am not the party type. How about you? How many parties will you be dividing yourself amongst?” 

"How many? Zero! Am not the party type either.” At Fernando’s look of disbelief, Mark tried to explain himself, “ Well, maybe ten, fifteen years ago I was, but not any more!”

As they reached Fernando’s door, the Spaniard was about to bid his companion a good evening when Mark asked, slightly hesitantly, “ Ummm, since we both have nothing in particular on tonight, shall we find some place for dinner together? I mean, it is Christmas and it would be a shame to just stay home alone. ”

Fernando didn’t expect Mark to ask him out. Although Mark mentioned that he had no plans for attending parties, Fernando had just assumed that he would still have someone to spend his Christmas with. The Spaniard felt his heart beat a little faster at the prospect of spending time with Mark. Although at the back of his mind, there was a warning voice of the danger of letting himself get too close, he reasoned that it was just for a casual dinner. As Mark said, it was Christmas, surely he could relax a little and spend some time with a friendly colleague? With that he agreed to Mark’s invitation who looked very pleased.

"Great, I will find a place and let you know where. See you later. Oh, and you look great in the Christmas hat!” Mark gave him a wink.

“Oh, this!” Fernando realised that he had not taken the hat off after the magic show and thought that Mark must had been quite amused by how he looked, “ this was given to me by one of the nurses, I was wearing it in the morning to cheer the kids up, and put it on again for the show. Forgot to take it off.” He pulled it off.

“Hey don’t, you look so cute in it!” Mark said with a laugh.

Fernando just shook his head. He suddenly remembered the other thing that Penny gave him, the box of cupcakes. He had eaten two as his lunch and there were two left.

“I was also given something else this morning, which is even better. Come,” he gestured to Mark to follow him into his office.

He took the box out and opened it, “These are delicious. I ate two for lunch. Do you want some? You can have both since I have exceeded my quota for sugar today.” 

“Wow, chocolate cupcakes! They look wonderful and so pretty too. But you only ate cupcakes for lunch? Hmm, what would your heart doctor say?” Mark shook this head in mock disapproval.

“Well, there wasn’t anything much in the cafeteria today, and I didn’t really want to go look for lunch,” Fernando defended himself.

Mark smiled, “Quite true. Actually I think your Christmas lunch was better than my cold soggy sandwich! This is too tempting, I love chocolate. Although I will not dare eat this in front of my patients.” 

“Come on, it’s Christmas. A little indulgence won’t hurt!” Fernando waved the box in front of him

“You are making me very hungry. I think I will just take one. You have the other one. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone Dr Alonso ate three cupcakes!”

Fernando smiled at Mark’s teasing, “I’m not worried about that,” he passed the box to Mark,” I’ll make some tea, will go well with that.”

He went to get some water in his kettle and made tea for both of them. He handed a cup to Mark who thanked him.

They sat on the chairs facing Fernando’s desk, and took one cupcake each. Mark took a bite and said that it was delicious. Fernando tried to focus on his own but he was distracted as he found Mark looking utterly adorable the way he ate the cupcake. There was a tiny smudge of chocolate frosting above his lips which the Spaniard found particularly distracting.

“Is there something on my face?” Mark asked, as he noticed Fernando staring at him.

Fernando felt a little sheepish to be caught out but he tried to cover up by turning to grab a napkin and passed it to Mark, pointing to his lips.

“Ha, the cupcake was too good,” Mark blushed a little as he accepted the napkin and wiped his mouth. The blushing was rather unlike the usual image that the Australian presented, and it made him look even more adorable. Fernando though was quick to control his wandering thoughts and tried to keep as neutral a face as possible.

They finished up the cupcakes and tea soon. As Mark stood to leave, he said, “Thank you for the cupcake and tea. Since you are so kind to offer me these treats, dinner will be on me tonight. See you later!”

He called Fernando on the phone a few minutes later to ask if he mind having Indian food for Christmas dinner. Most restaurants were closed for the day but Mark knew of this restaurant that served delicious Indian food that was opened. Fernando told him that it was fine with him and they arranged to meet at the restaurant at seven, as they had both driven to work that day.

Fernando went to the restaurant directly from work and found that Mark was already waiting for him there.

“Hey, glad that you made it out of work early today,” Mark teased him gently.

“Well, it is Christmas! We doctors should celebrate by working a little less too,” Fernando smiled.

“True , true. And we should have a little toast to celebrate this most wonderful time of the year!” Mark had already ordered a bottle of sparkling wine, and he poured a glass for Fernando before toasting him, “Something sparkly for the season! Cheers!”

It was a light pleasant tasting wine, and it put the Spaniard in a relaxed mood for an enjoyable evening. He let Mark decide on the food for dinner as the Aussie was a regular there. Soon the table was laden with a delicious spread of food and both tucked in happily.

As with previous times when they were having dinner together, they had an easy conversation going, talking about a wide range of topics from happenings at work and in the world, to their interests and hobbies. Mark was very interested in Fernando’s magic tricks and asked him how he learnt to be so good at it. Fernando told him that it was something that he picked up from young when his grandfather gave him a kit full of magic tricks, but he had not been practising for some time so his skills were somewhat rusty. They then shared more stories of their youth and the Australian told of how he started riding motorcycles from a young age as his father was a motorcycle dealer and even had dreams of being either a professional two wheel or four wheel driver. 

“Wow, so you could have been a world champion in Motor GP or Formula 1!” Fernando said jokingly.

“For sure, I was on course for that. But fortunately, or rather, unfortunately I guess, my interests turned more to academic pursuits and here I am, a boring old heart doctor, instead of a dashing world famous racer.” Mark answered with mock despair.

Fernando laughed and they continued in this vein with plenty of jokes and light-hearted conversation all through dinner. After they finished their dinner, they decided to take a walk to the nearby town square to look at the Christmas lights as both had not the time before Christmas to do so. Lining the streets were trees strung with fairy lights and decorated with ornaments, making it a very pretty sight. Many people were milling around enjoying the Christmas sights. As it was rather crowded, Mark and Fernando occasionally had their shoulders bumping or their arms brushing against each other. Fernando felt a small fluttering in his stomach each time it happened. He felt rather uneasy having such feelings but he did enjoy walking next to Mark.

As they approached the town square, they could see a tall Christmas tree that was beautifully decorated and all lighted up. A lot of people were taking photos with the tree. As they admired the tree, a young couple came up to Mark and asked him to take a photo for them. Mark obliged. The couple thanked him and asked if they would like a photo together. Fernando was surprised by the offer and before he could say anything, Mark had already agreed and was gently pulling him by the wrist towards the tree after handing his phone to the lady. He put his arm around Fernando’s shoulder to hold him close for the photo. The Spaniard could smell his cologne, the familiar scent reminding him of the hoodie that Mark let him wear at his house that rainy night and he felt a comforting sense of warmth rising in him. Both of them looked at the camera to have their smiles captured in the photo. As the lady returned Mark his phone, he thanked her and she said, “You’re welcomed! You two look wonderful together.” Fernando immediately felt his face flushed red at the misunderstanding. Mark, however, did not correct her mistake and merely thanked her, while mischievously winking at Fernando. He then laughed and told the Spaniard that he would send him the photo to judge for himself. 

It started to snow soon after and got much colder. Mark could tell that Fernando was freezing and suggested that they head back to their cars. As they walked back, Mark asked if he would like to come by his place for some mulled wine to warm himself up. The Spaniard was very tempted to accept, as he was not yet ready for the evening with Mark to end, but that familiar warning voice was there again, cautioning him to keep a distance. Reluctantly, he declined the invitation, saying that he should head back as he had to work the next day. Mark looked disappointed but did not press him further. Fernando thanked him for a very pleasant evening, got in his car and left.

Soon after he reached home, he received a message from Mark with the photo of them together. He had included a message with the photo “So glad to have the chance to spend Christmas night with you, Fernando. I hope you enjoyed the Christmas magic as much as I did.”

Fernando looked at the photo closely. Both of them were smiling happily and Mark’s arm was wrapped around his shoulder. With their height difference, he fitted just nicely into Mark’s embrace, making them look very compatible and indeed as if they were together as a couple. Fernando could not deny that he found that a pleasant thought as he put aside his conflicting emotions just for one night. It was still Christmas, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was planning to post this over the weekend but may not have the time. Hope it is ok to post again just one day after the last chapter. 
> 
> There are some sweet bits in this chapter. Thought I will make up for the sadness so far. I hope you like it.


	4. Confessions

The year end festive season came and went. Fernando worked through the holidays and soon after the new year, he headed back home for a two week visit at his parents’ house.

His parents and sister were overjoyed to see him, having missed him over the holidays. They made sure his every comfort was taken care of. His mum in particular was always cooking his favourite dishes in her quest to fatten him up, as she had thought he was way too thin. Fernando very much enjoyed the time spent with his family and the comforts that only home could offer. By the end of the visit, he was recharged and ready to return to his busy routine at work again.

Fernando’s vacation back home meant that he missed seeing Mark before he left for his trip back to Australia. But he was thankful for the time apart, as he was getting quite alarmed about the way his feelings for Mark were growing. So he did what he had always done, fully immersed himself in his work so that he would not have too much time for his thoughts to wander. It seemed to work or at least Fernando managed to convince himself that it was so. Even when Mark returned from his trip, they did not had much contact, as each was so busy with their own work load. All this led Fernando to believe that there was actually no danger to his heart being engaged again. There probably never was any danger to begin with, as Mark had just treated him as a friend, nothing more. The realisation of this, quite paradoxically, brought a sense of disappointment to Fernando, since he was convinced that it was actually for the best. Nevertheless, he tried to dismiss it as usual.

The weather gradually started to get warmer as Spring approached. One day , Fernando and Jenson were having lunch at the hospital cafeteria, catching up with each other and the happenings around, when a familiar Australian accent sounded behind them.

“Hey, mates! How are you guys? May I join you?” It was Mark, holding his tray of food standing behind them.

“Oh, hi there! Of course, sit down. Where have you been holed up at? I hardly ever see you around,” Jenson said.

“Yeah, haven’t seen much of you guys since I came back from Australia. It’s been pretty crazy, there have been so many new cases that our whole team is swarmed,” Mark explained.

Fernando was glad to see Mark, in fact more glad than he would care to admit to himself. He didn’t say much but was just happy to listen Mark and Jenson chat. They were talking about Mark’s trip to Australia, the conference he attended and the various sports that he did over there when Jenson remembered Mark’s earlier offer of a weekend at his house for a cycling exploration.

“Say, mate,”Jenson began,”remember we were talking about going to your place for the weekend for a bit of cycling? Are we still on for that?”

“Of course, I was just waiting for the weather to turn warmer over here.” Mark replied enthusiastically.

“Spring has come early this year, so the weather will probably be warm enough in the next couple of weeks. How about you let us know the weekends that would work for you?” Jenson suggested.

“Well, sometime in March would be fine. I expect things over here to calm down a bit over the next two weeks so my weekends should be free after that.” Mark took out his phone and started to scroll possible dates. He suggested the dates and looked to Jenson and Fernando.

“Sounds great to me!” Jenson said.

“How about you, Fernando? We can look at the dates again if they are not good for you?” Mark waited for Fernando to answer.

The Spaniard was in a bit of conflict. He would love to go, but would it be wise? The old warning voice was at it again. He started hesitantly, “Well, I, er, there’s quite a bit going on at work, so am not sure…”

Jenson cut in before Fernando could finish his excuse. “Oh come on, mate. Don’t be such a spoilsport. You have to come! It will be so much fun. It’s the weekend so you cannot use work as an excuse.”

Mark chimed in to try to persuade Fernando. In the end, the Spaniard found that he was out-talked by his two companions and agreed to join them.

That weekend came quickly. Mark went back to his house on Friday evening to prepare the place for his guests. Fernando arrived after lunch, and found that Jenson was already there. The house was large and handsome looking with a beautiful garden filled with many different plants. Mark had two large dogs that barked enthusiastically at Fernando when he arrived. After settling down, they decided to take a walk around the neighbourhood as there was quite a scenic trail nearby. They set off together with the two dogs. It was indeed a pleasant walk and they could see the first signs of spring with greenery sprouting from the trees and plants lining the walkway. They came upon a small lake and Mark told them that he sometimes fish there. They continued with their walk to the wooded area surrounding the neighbourhood as Mark pointed out some of the biking trails that they could explore the next day.

In the evening, Mark prepared a simple but delicious dinner of soup, salad and roast. All three enjoyed the dinner with plenty of jokes and banter. At one point they were talking about cooking for themselves and what dish they could cook best. Fernando told them about some of his mother’s recipes which he was able to replicate and Mark said that he would love to taste his cooking someday, to which Jenson chimed in and made Fernando promised to do just that.

After clearing up the dishes, they were about to settle down to catch some sports on TV when Jenson stepped away to answer a call. When he returned, he told the other two that he had been called for a complicated case that required his assistance in the diagnostics. 

"Sorry guys, looks like I have to leave our little party and get back to town tonight. I need to be at the hospital really early tomorrow for this case, ” Jenson apologised for having to leave early.

“That’s a shame. I was so looking forward to beating you tomorrow on the bike. But yeah, this is what goes with our profession,” Mark replied.

Mark and Fernando wished Jenson a safe drive home as they walked him out to the car. The two of them decided to continue with watching the sporting action on TV. Fernando felt a certain fluttering in his stomach once he was left alone with Mark, but he tried to quickly calm his thoughts and resolved to enjoy a nice friendly evening with the Australian.

They turned in for the night early as they planned to set off early in the morning for their biking expedition the next day. Shortly before mid-night, a heavy stormed started. Fernando was awakened by loud rumblings of thunder and felt that the room had become very chilly. He tried to turn on the bedside lamp for light to check on the heater setting but somehow the light would not turn on. It was getting really cold and he could not help but shiver even with the blankets. Just then, a light knock sounded on the door and it opened to reveal Mark holding a torch light.

“Sorry mate to wake you. Seems we have a power cut due to the storm. It’s getting really cold as the heater is off so I thought to check if you are ok.” 

“ I was already awake due to the thunder. I was wondering why the light wouldn’t turn on,” Fernando said as he sat up on the bed, “yeah, it’s getting pretty cold.”

“I have an extra blanket in the other guest room. I’ll get it for you.” 

“Thanks, but how about you?”

“No worries, mate. Think I should be ok.”

“Oh, but it is really cold,”Fernando could not help the shiver in his voice, and before thinking further, said,”maybe we share?” As soon as the words came out of his mouth, he regretted. What was he thinking? But it was too late.

“Yeah, it’s pretty cold without the heater and may get worse with the rain still pouring. Well, if you don’t mind,” Mark replied to his suggestion, and continued, “but it would be more comfortable if we go to my room with the larger bed. I’ll bring all the blankets over.”

Mark stepped towards Fernando and helped to gather the blankets, and then guided him towards his room in the dark. After they piled the blankets on the bed, they climbed in, Fernando on the left, and Mark on the right.

“Sorry about this mate. Didn’t expect the power cut, it has never happened before. But this is quite a heavy storm,” Mark said as the rain continued to pelt on the windows.

“It’s not your fault. Sorry I have to invade your bed like this.” Fernando felt really awkward. He could feel his heart beating faster and stomach flutter, lying in such close proximity to Mark.

“Well, you sharing with me here means I don’t have to freeze tonight so I should be thanking you! And don’t worry, I don’t snore. At least I don’t think so.” Mark laughed lightly and tried to put Fernando at ease, “Hope you can find a comfortable position. There’s lots of room on the this bed so I don’t think we will end up kicking each other off!”

Fernando smiled, feeling a little more relaxed. They soon fell silent as they each tried to settle in comfortably for the night. With the pile of blankets and heat from Mark, Fernando felt well protected from the cold. He could smell the familiar scent that he had come to associate with Mark. It was a comforting scent and while Fernando could still feel the flutterings in his stomach, he started to calm down and relax. He heard Mark’s breathing fell to a slow and steady rhythm. It was a soothing sound and soon he started to feel drowsy and fell asleep.

It was early morning when Fernando woke up. He had slept really well in the warm and cosy bed and was having a pleasant dream although he could not recall what it was about. As he awoke slowly, still groggy from sleep, he tried to turn but found that he could not, as he was held snugly in place by a pair of arms that were embracing him. He realised that he was spooned by Mark with his back resting against Mark’s chest with his arms and legs wrapping him in a tight embrace. The realisation started him wide awake. He could probably free himself from this position by moving Mark’s arm and leg, or try to wriggle himself out of his hold, but this would probably wake the Australian and it would be so embarrassing for both of them. Besides, he could not deny that he found this position to be very cosy and warm, and if he was honest with himself, quite enjoyable as he felt a comforting sense of being safe and secure in the tight embrace. At a loss of what to do, he remained in position and pretended to be still sleeping.

Fernando was not sure how long had passed before he felt movements from Mark. The Australian stirred, paused in his movements for some time, then finally withdrew his arm and rolled aside. Fernando immediately felt cold with the loss of the embrace. Soon after, he felt the bed lightened as Mark got out of bed and moved quietly out of the room.

He remained in bed for some time. When he felt sufficiently calmed down from the early morning surprise, he went downstairs in search of his host. He was greeted by the aroma of coffee and delicious smell of a warm breakfast as he entered the kitchen.

“Good morning, Fernando. I hope you slept well?” Mark greeted him cheerfully, as he stood by the stove cooking some eggs for the English breakfast that he was preparing.

“Good morning, Mark. Yeah, I slept very well, thank you.” Fernando tried to sound as nonchalant as possible, so as not to give a hint that he was aware of himself being ensconced in Mark’s embrace this morning.

"That's great. Breakfast is ready, grab a seat. I’ve prepared an English breakfast, not the healthiest of things but I think we can work it all off on our bike ride,” Mark said as he served the food on two plates and brought it to Fernando. 

Breakfast was delicious, and both enjoyed it. They set off for the much anticipated bike ride after some time to allow for the food to digest. The weather had cleared and it was a lovely sunny morning. Mark led him to explore various trails on the bike. As they rode, he pointed out many interesting sights to Fernando along the way. It was a great exercise coupled with beautiful scenery and excellent company. Both of them enjoyed the ride thoroughly. 

After spending the whole morning riding, they passed by the lake that they came across the day before. They decided to stop to take a rest. Mark had brought along a simple lunch of sandwiches and fruit. He spread a blanket on the grass by the lake and both of them sat down to have lunch. After lunch, they continued to rest in the warm sunshine. It was probably a combination of the lovely warm weather, together with the exertion of the morning exercise and satiation from lunch, that made Fernando rather drowsy. He laid back and closed his eyes to enjoy the sunshine. Before he knew it, he drifted off to sleep. 

He was not sure how long he slept, but he suddenly felt a movement, something slowly brushing against his lips. It was soft and tender at first, and it tasted sweet. The touch on his lips slowly deepened and Fernando felt himself so drawn to the sweetness that he returned the contact. He had thought that he was dreaming a pleasant dream. But the touch on his lips grew more urgent and he felt fingers entangled in his hair. It was too real to be a dream. Fernando was startled awake and opened his eyes to see that he was in fact being kissed. Mark was kissing him! Mark’s eyes were closed as he seemed lost in the moment. He gasped in shock, which prompted Mark to open his eyes and stop abruptly.

“Oh, I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to do it like this…” Mark’s words of apology tumbled out, as he look flustered and embarrassed. Fernando continued to stare at Mark in shock, as he was rendered speechless.

“Fernando? I am very sorry, I really should not do this, but I can’t help myself. You looked so beautiful lying in the sun.....” Mark stopped short as he realised he said something that he would rather keep in his thoughts.

“Can’t help yourself?” Fernando finally found his voice, as he sat up and moved away from Mark.

Mark heaved a sigh, “Please forgive me, I know it is a mistake, I should not have done it this way.. But it is just, it’s just….” He seemed to be at a loss for words as Fernando looked on, still in shock and not sure what to do.

Finally Mark took a deep breath and started,” Fernando, I have been wanting to talk to you about this. I... I really like you. A lot. And I have been hoping that we can maybe start seeing each other a bit more. Not just as colleagues and having the occasional get together, but really seeing each other and hopefully start something special.”

“I don’t understand. You are just joking, aren’t you?” Fernando shook his head, his feelings were so confused. His heart skipped several beats on hearing Mark’s reveal his feelings, but at the same time, he also felt surprised and unfortunately a sense of dread. He had managed to convince himself that Mark could not be attracted to him, that he had only been nice and treated him as a friend, no more. That had put him at ease with spending more time with the Australian, as there would not be any danger. He was still so sure that he would fail in any new relationship, just as he had been the one at fault and caused his first relationship to end.

“No, Fernando. I really mean it. I like you very much. To be honest I have been attracted to you for a long time, maybe ever since the first time I saw you when we bumped into each other at that corridor.” Mark said with a small smile, as he reminisced about their first meeting, “And since then, I have gotten to know you, and really enjoyed spending time together with you. It seemed to me that you have enjoyed spending time with me too, so I thought that perhaps we have a chance to get together. I’ll like that very much, especially after this weekend. I mean, you seem to fit right into my home, and this morning, I don’t know if you realised, but I woke up with you in my arms. It felt so right. I don’t know how we ended up in that position, but maybe we just gravitated towards each other,” Mark said with a nervous little laugh. His face was flushed red, probably from feeling embarrassed after revealing so much of his feelings.

Fernando was truly touched by his words. They sounded so sincere and so sweet. But all the more, it convinced him that he could not accept these feelings. Mark’s revelation that he had been attracted to him since their first meeting reminded him of how Kimi had told him something similar all those years ago. That didn’t end well, did it? Fernando was so afraid that the relationship, if he started one with Mark, would also fail. Both of them would then be so hurt. He was far too fond of Mark to hurt him like that, and he was not sure how he himself would survive another heartbreak.

“Fernando?” Mark was now looking at him beseechingly.

Fernando could feel an ache rising in his heart. But he had to do it, it was better to hurt a little now then to cause much more pain later.

“I am sorry, Mark. But no, I cannot…” He could not continue.

Mark face fell, “Cannot? I don’t understand.”

Fernando summoned his courage and said with as much calm as he could muster, “I cannot accept your feelings. I am not looking to be in any relationship right now. I, I don’t have the time for it,” he finished off rather weakly.

Mark looked confused, “I’m afraid I don’t get it. I know your schedule is a bit crazy with all the work in the hospital, both of ours are. But I think we can work something out, can we not?”

"It’s not so simple, I just cannot," Fernando insisted.

Mark thought for a few moments before continuing, “I am not sure if I should say this, Fernando, but is this because of Kimi? Are you still not over that?”

Fernando did not expect this to come up. How could Mark know about Kimi? He voiced this out loud.

Mark had the grace to blush as he explained, “Well, I heard you calling this name when I sent you back home, you remember the night we had the gathering organised by Jenson and you drank too much? I didn’t know who it was at that time, of course. But that day when we were sitting together with Dr Räikkönen at lunch, I saw how the two of you were so awkward with each other and when I heard you call his name, it just dawned on me. I went to ask Jenson about it and he told me what he knew. I am sorry I pried but I had only thought of finding out more about it because sometimes you just look so sad and I didn’t understand why.”

Fernando felt annoyed, not at Mark, but at himself for giving away his own secret. Mark was right, Kimi, or rather him failing Kimi was the reason why he did not dare to get into a new relationship with him. At the same time though, the realisation that Mark was the person with him that night, who took care of him and held his hand when he was drunk and desolated over seeing Kim with someone else on their special anniversary, caused him to be once again awash with warm feelings towards Mark. It seemed that as early as then, Mark was taking good care of him. But surely, this was all the more reason for Fernando to nip this in the bud? Mark was too good for him, he did not deserve it.

“No, it has nothing to do with what happened in the past. It is just that I do not return your feelings. I do not feel the same. I have always thought that we were just colleagues and friends.” He looked down, hating how cruel the words sounded. He could not look at Mark as he said these words as he knew that he was lying. But it had to be done.

“Oh, I, I didn’t think…I thought you were also…” Mark let his words fade away. He sounded so crestfallen.

Fernando felt a stab of pain in his heart, but he held firm and told himself over and over again that this was for the best. He could only say softly, “I am sorry, Mark.”

“No, no, I should be the one saying sorry. I shouldn’t have presumed so much.” The Australian hung his head down.

They remained in silence for a long time. Fernando sat hugging his knees close and rested his head on them, feeling sad and sorry that he had hurt Mark but not knowing another way to go about it. Mark was standing and staring at the lake. The silence stretched on as they felt the air getting much cooler. The sun had hidden behind the clouds and it looked as if it was about to rain again.

“Looks like we should head back,” Mark finally broke the silence.

Fernando nodded as they both mounted their bikes and returned to Mark’s house. Both were quiet, ladened with heavy hearts, much unlike the happy mood of the morning. Once they got back to the house, Fernando told Mark he should be going. He changed and packed his things quickly.

“Thank you for having me over. This is really a lovely place.”

“It was great having you here. Thanks for coming. Have a good drive home.”

Fernando bade him goodbye, opened the door and left. If he had looked back, he would have seen how dejected Mark looked as he slide down the door and held his head in his hands.


	5. Maybe You Just Need A Little More Time

It had been over a month since that weekend at Mark’s place. Fernando had tried his best to continue with his usual routine and fully focus on work in the hospital. But more often then not, he caught himself thinking of the Australian. He had seen Mark in the hospital, at the corridors, during meetings and even sat down at lunch together, never on their own, but with others at the same table. They had behaved normally, or at least tried their best to. There were a few occasions where Mark had looked like he wanted to approach Fernando when he was on his own, but each time he paused in his tracks and turned away. Fernando knew that he had hurt Mark with his rejection, but there was nothing else he could have done. He was utterly convinced that it was for the best. 

The days passed and it was well into May when Fernando came together with Jenson for lunch. Jenson sighed as he sat down, “ Looks like I have to organise a farewell party soon.”

“Oh, for who?” Fernando had not heard of any resignations amongst the colleagues that he worked with.

“You have not heard? It’s for Mark. He has tendered his resignation. He is planning to return to Australia. Apparently he has a great offer from a hospital in Sydney to head their cardiology department. An offer he can’t refuse.” Jenson elaborated.

“Mark is leaving?” Fernando felt as if something had struck him, “When is he leaving?”

“Think it’s in a couple of weeks time. He had asked for an early release and the bosses agreed. They were very reluctant to let him go, but they understood that this is a great advancement for Mark’s career.” Jenson continued, “I’ll plan for something before he leaves. You will be coming?”

“Yeah, sure,” Fernando said absent-mindedly as his thoughts were thrown into turmoil. Mark leaving so soon! Why was he leaving? Did it have anything to do with what happened between them? But Jenson said it was because he had an offer he could not refuse, so it was not because of him. Or was it?

“Fernando, are you all right?” Jenson was waving his hand in front of him, “you didn’t hear a word of what I just said!”

“Sorry, I was thinking about something. What were you saying just now?” Fernando felt a bit embarrassed at being caught out.

Jenson raised his eyebrows and shot him a look, before saying, “No worries, I understand. I was just asking if you have received the report on the MRI that I did for one of your patients?” 

Fernando was thankful that the Brit did not quiz him further on his absent-mindedness on hearing the news about Mark but instead switched the topic of conversation. He gladly continued in that vein and they spent the rest of their lunch talking about work related topics.

The farewell for Mark was organised on his last day of work at the hospital. He would be returning to Australia two days after that. Since Fernando found out about Mark’s impending departure, he had thought of asking him about it. Eventually he thought better of it. What would he say to Mark? He had no idea, and it would likely lead to more awkwardness between them.

The day for the farewell party soon came. Jenson had arranged for dinner together with the usual group at a restaurant. He had reminded Fernando the time and place just that morning. Fernando was torn about whether to go. He had wanted to wish Mark well on his new venture but at the same time, he was afraid of letting his feelings about his departure show. He was certainly affected by it, he felt a sad emptiness by the thought that he would no longer see Mark around at the hospital again.

By six in the evening, Fernando was still sitting in his office. Jenson had tried calling him but he did not answer the call. The Brit then texted him, asking him what time he would be coming. He eventually replied by texting Jenson that he was caught up by something urgent and had to give the farewell party a miss, and asked him to please convey his apologies and well wishes to Mark. As he sent the text, Fernando felt very sorry that he could not see Mark before he left but again he told himself that it would be better this way.

On the day of Mark’s flight back to Australia, Fernando was so uncharacteristically distracted the whole day that even his nurses asked him if he was not feeling well. It was fortunate that there was no major issue happening and he managed to get through the day. Jenson had informed him the time of Mark’s flight which was in the evening. As the time approached, Fernando was fighting the temptation to go to the airport to see him off. He really wished to see Mark one more time before he left, but his rational side again stopped himself from running off to the airport. As he remained in his office trying his best to focus on the report that he had been trying to read, his phone beeped to notify him of a new message. To his surprise, it was a message from Mark. He tapped on it immediately.

“Hi, Fernando!

I am writing as I am in Jenson’s car on the way to the airport. He has insisted to send me off even though I told him there is no need. As you probably know, I have accepted a new job at a hospital in Sydney. I guess the lure of being closer to home after being away for so many years swung it for me.

I was hoping to tell you personally about this but unfortunately I have not found a chance to do so. Which is just as well, since I am terrible at saying goodbyes. 

I have to admit that I will miss living in the UK and all my friends here, but, most of all, you. I am sorry if this reminds you of what happened that weekend and I can assure you that I am not trying to push for anything. I respect your decision and understand that it could not be. But still, you are very special to me, and I will not be able to forget you. 

Sometimes I console myself by thinking that maybe you just need a little more time and hope that I may be able to see you again some day.

I wish you well and hope you will be happy. Mark.

PS: Please try not to work 24/7 all the time! You have to let others have a chance at the star employee of the month ;) Do take care of yourself.”

Fernando felt tears welling up in his eyes as he read the message. It was obvious that Mark still cared a lot about him, even after the rejection that he had suffered. Fernando knew then that he had to see Mark before he left. He had no idea what he would say to him, but he had to see him one more time. He grabbed his keys and ran out of his office to his car. The way to the airport was jammed with traffic and it took longer than usual to reach his destination. When he finally got there, he quickly parked the car and ran towards the departure hall. Fernando could not see Mark at the check-in counter, so he went towards the entry to the departure gate. There were a lot of people around and for a while, Fernando thought that he would not get to see Mark amongst such a crowd. As he was anxiously scanning the crowd, he finally saw his familiar tall figure. Mark was standing with Jenson, all ready to walk into the departure area. Fernando was about to run towards them, when he caught himself. What should he say to Mark? He had no idea. Should he really be running to him like this, just as he was about to leave? He had so wanted to see Mark one more time, and now that he had seen him, he lost the courage to approach him. He really did not know what to tell him. So he stood rooted to the spot, unseen by Mark. He watched as Mark gave Jenson a final hug, and then looked around him, as if hoping to see someone else there, but upon not finding who he had wished to see, turned with his shoulder slightly sagged and walked through the entrance without looking back, disappearing into the crowd.

Fernando could not describe the mixed emotions almost overwhelming him as he watched Mark leave. There was a deep sense of emptiness and he felt as if he was left bereft, devoid of something very important to him. He did not know how long he stood there, until Jenson appeared in front of him.

“Fernando, you came! Mark had been hoping to see you, but he has gone in.” Jenson said sympathetically. He put his arm around Fernando’s shoulder.

The Spaniard nodded as he replied, “ Yes, I saw him walk into the departure area.”

“But you didn’t come up to us?” 

“No, I was a bit too late. I didn’t want to delay him.”

Jenson nodded understandingly. He then asked if he wanted to go for a drink, but Fernando declined, saying that he needed to have an early night. They parted ways as they each went to their own car. Fernando was thankful that Jenson did not insist on keeping him company, as all he wanted at that moment was to go home and be on his own.


	6. A Sojourn

Since Marks’s departure, Fernando had tried to do what he did best – fully immerse himself in his work and forget about everything else. It might have had a certain degree of success for him in the past to help him forget his troubles, but this time, he found its efficacy rather wanting. Perhaps it was the fact that the work place that he sought relief from was the very place that he spent the most time around Mark. As he walked the corridors, he was reminded of their first meeting. As he saw patients, especially ones with heart afflictions, he was reminded of how brilliant a cardiologist Mark was. As he entered the children’s ward, he was reminded of last Christmas and how Mark had smiled at him after his magic show. Even back in his own office, he was reminded of how Mark looked as he ate the cupcake and how attracted he was to him. There was no denying it, Fernando missed Mark terribly. The more time that he spent at work, the more memories evoked of what it used to be with Mark around.

Mark had written emails addressed to both Jenson and him telling them of his new job and the new place he was staying at. Fernando had tried to write him a reply, but each time he started, he could not put into words what he wanted to say. He thought of writing a simple wishing him well email but there was so much more that he felt but could not tell him. After numerous tries, he gave up and did not reply to any of Mark’s emails.

Fernando started to feel that he had to get away as this distraction with Mark was getting too much. He needed to clear his head before he committed some mistake in his work and cause any harm to any of his patients. Fortunately for him, he found a solution one day as he was browsing through some brochures in the staff area. He came across one from UNICEF advertising for volunteers for their program to provide healthcare to the poor in underdeveloped countries. While in medical school, Fernando had thought of spending some time doing such volunteer work but he had not managed to do so, with the years spent on studying, training and building up his career. Now though, seemed the perfect time. It would allow him to fulfil his wish to help those who needed medical care the most but could not afford it, and hopefully also allow him to clear his mind and get over his tangled emotions.

He set the actions in motion quickly, contacting the relevant organisation to register his interest. They quickly responded to welcome him as someone with his qualifications and experience was rare to come by in such volunteer work. Next was the slightly trickier part of getting approval from his head of department. Dr Boullier was reluctant to let him go but he was understanding and supportive as it was for a good cause. Eventually they managed to agree on letting Fernando go on three month unpaid leave for his volunteer work, instead of the original six months that he was initially hopping for.

Fernando soon received his assignment from UNICEF. He would be sent to one of the less developed countries in Asia to help provide much needed medical care to children in poor villages, as well as help to train their medical professionals to provide better quality healthcare to their patients. He was excited about this trip as he finished up his work at the hospital as best as he could and handed over to his colleagues. 

It was coincidentally on the 27th of July that Fernando boarded a plane to his assignment. This time he was rather more calm compared to the two previous anniversaries. It was a long flight of more than ten hours, giving Fernando plenty of time to reflect on what happened over these two years. He thought back to what happened with Kimi, and while he still blamed himself for their separation, he did not feel the overwhelming heartache that used to accompany such thoughts. Perhaps Mark was right, maybe all he needed was just more time. Time was indeed a great healer. But thoughts of Mark brought more complicated emotions. There was something that felt akin to yearning, thinking of what could have been. It was useless thinking too much though, he told himself. He and Mark were not meant to be.

Upon landing, Fernando followed the directions given to him and made his way to the city where the UNICEF headquarters was. It was a long ride from the airport and it gave him the opportunity to see the country for the first time. As the roads led away from the airport, they became narrower and more bumpy. There were fields on both sides of the road and dust flew whenever a vehicle drove past. It was in steep contrast to what he was used to, but he expected it and knew that he would need to adapt to the environment as best as he could. When he reached his destination, he was met at the office by the coordinator in charged of the medical care program and briefed on their organisation and functions. Over the next few days, Fernando got to know more of the people working there and learned about the work he would undertake. He would work with a team of nurses to visit villages to provide vaccination and other medical care to the children. He would also help to provide training to the local medical team on care of common childhood diseases. The visits to the villages would be day trips if the village were not too far away, and he would return to his quarters in the city. However, as many of the villages were a long distance away, he would often have to be away for a few days and stay in quarters in small towns or villages. All these were new to Fernando but he felt very excited to embark on this challenge. 

The assignments to the villages started the following week. He was sent with a team of two nurses and a driver in a medical van to a nearby village. As they approached the village in their van, they could see a small crowd already gathered around the small building that was to be their clinic. There was a nurse who was stationed there and hence they were able to start work quickly. The clinic was very sparsely furnished and had very few medical equipment. Fernando was initially unused to the environment and felt a little out of place especially due to the language barrier. But his professionalism kicked in and he tried his best to settle down as he started seeing the young patients. . The nurses could speak some English so they were a great help as interpreters between Fernando and the parents. As the day went on, things became smoother and he felt more in his element. While he could not understand their language, he could tell that the parents who brought their children were all very respectful and appreciative of their service, and this gave him much encouragement. They worked through the day with only a short lunch break, seeing an almost unending stream of patients. At the end of the day as they headed back to the office, Fernando felt exhausted but very glad that he had taken up this challenge.

It continued thus for the next couple of months for Fernando. He spent most days visiting different towns and villages with his team, in between he conducted training either at the head office or at the towns or villages where there were medical personnel stationed. He enjoyed the work tremendously, but there were also many difficulties that he experienced, especially when he was sent to more remote villages. Some were quite difficult to access and there were a few instances when their van broke down, and he had to help push the van in the blazing sun. The facilities at the remote villages were also often poor and run down without proper equipment or even sanitation. Still he and the team kept their humour and worked the best they could. He had gotten to know them well. The nurses might not had a lot of formal training but they were smart, knew their job and the local people well. They were very keen to learn from Fernando and while a little shy at the beginning, had started to ask him many questions about how to improve on their work once they became more familiar with him. Their driver was also more than just a driver as he was the one who ensured their safety on the often tricky road conditions and acted as a guide when traveling to the far off places, and was always ready to help whenever he could. The team had taught Fernando some words from the local language so he could speak a few words to the locals, which he found very useful when it came to understanding and diagnosing his patients, and helping reassure the sometimes anxious parents.

The locals that he had come across were very respectful to him and his team. In material terms, they were generally quite poor, and some were even living in poverty, as Fernando could tell by how run down some villages were, but most of them seemed quite happy and contented even when they did not have a lot to get by on. The children were sweet and well behaved even when Fernando were doing things that were not very comfortable for them such as administering vaccinations or injections. It was sometimes hard to see how some children suffered illnesses while living in abject poverty, with their parents pinning all their hopes on him and his team to save their beloved children. This had made Fernando all the more determined to do the best to help as many as he could. It was not possible every time, however, given the limited resources he and his team had. It saddened him greatly to see the children suffer and the look of disappointment on the face of the parents. All this had made him think of how fortunate he was with the opportunities that he had back home since young.

A typical work day for Fernando was usually quite long, especially when there was traveling involved. At the end of the work day, he would return to the accommodations provided for him. Whenever he was in the city, he stayed in a small apartment near the office. On longer assignments to villages that were far away, he stayed at small houses in nearby towns or even at the village itself. The accommodations were all very simply furnished and at the smaller villages there was not even electricity at times. The living conditions were certainly not what Fernando had been used to, but he took it all in his stride. 

In the evenings after he finished work, there was usually not much entertainment. He had his books to keep him company, or he would write notes on his laptop of his experiences there. Something that he expected but could not quite get used to was how infrequent he could access to the internet. There was no internet connection even in the apartment in the city. Only when he was at the office did he had the chance to connect his laptop to the modem for access. Even then it was rather slow and not the high speed broadband connection that he was so used to. Nevertheless, he could use it to download emails and to occasionally make short calls to his family back in Spain via Skype. His family especially his mother was very concerned about him, but the calls worked to reassure them that he was doing fine.

His sister Lorena had kept in touch with him via email, beyond the short Skype calls, while some of his friends and colleagues, like Jenson and Penny, had send him emails to update him on the happenings in the hospital and asked after him. It was something that kept Fernando in contact with the world back home and he was very appreciative of it. For even though he had relished this new experience, he suffered from homesickness and missed all of his family, friends and close colleagues. 

One person whom Fernando had missed most particularly but unfortunately did not keep in contact was Mark. He had not receive any emails from the Australian since he arrived here. He knew that he should not be surprised since he himself did not reply to any of Mark’s earlier emails. Perhaps Mark had already forgotten about him, he thought. He told himself bravely that this was what he had wanted, but deep down he knew that he was disappointed and saddened. Sometimes he would look through the few emails that Mark sent him and thought of all the things that he wanted to say to him, but could not manage to put down in writing. It was on one of these occasions during an evening in his small apartment that he decided to write something. He had no internet connection so there was no way the email could be sent. The thought of it reassured him and he started to write.

“Dear Mark,

I’m sorry I have not replied to any of your emails. I wish I had but there were so many things that I wanted to say, but could not find the words to do so.

How are you settling in your new place? Well actually it’s not that new anymore since you have been back for more than three months. I am sure you are doing well in your new position as head of department. You are such a brilliant doctor and certainly one of the best that I had the fortune to work with. I think your hospital is so lucky to have you working for them.

I wish I had the chance to talk to you before you left. Jenson told me the details of your flight and I was thinking of going to the airport to send you off. But I did not know what to say to you. I know I have hurt you when I said those cruel words that weekend at your place. Yet you were so kind and sent me that beautiful message just before you left. It was very touching and I have kept it with me and reread it many times. I confess that I went to the airport right after I received your message. I only thought of seeing you before you go. I was lucky to get there in time to see you, but did not dare approach you because I had no idea what to say. So I just stood there and watch you leave. I cannot describe my feelings at that point, it was like losing someone very important to me and yet I was the one who did not dare to accept you in the first place. I would not flatter myself by thinking that you have left because of me, it simply cannot be so. I understand that it is a great opportunity for you to be back home and work in a position that does justice to your talents and skills. But still I selfishly wished you had stayed and I could see you everyday in the hospital as I used to. 

I have mentioned right at the beginning of this email that I could not find the words to say what I wanted, and yet I have written so much already. I think it is because I know that I will never send this email to you and am safe to express what I think and feel freely.

I think I will end this email here and wish you the very best, Mark. You deserve every happiness in the world and I am sure you will find it.

Fer ”

 

After writing this email, Fernando felt a sense of relief as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He could express some of what he felt with the security that the person whom the email was addressed to would never find out. In the subsequent weeks, he continued to write to Mark, telling him about his experience working there, the difficulties he faced and how he felt about being so far away from home. He found that it was comforting thing for him to do, it helped to alleviate his feelings of missing Mark and enabled him to feel as if he was still somehow connected to him. All the emails were never sent though.

The days flew by and soon Fernando was in the final week of his volunteer stint. He had worked very hard the weeks before as he was posted to a few of the remote villages to conduct vaccination for the children on top of the usual medical care services. When he returned to the city, he found many messages on his email waiting for him, from family and friends who were eager to see him on his return. There was however still nothing from Mark. He could feel the irony of his situation. In terms of distance, he was actually closer to Mark then if he were in London, but more than ever before, he felt so far apart from him. He thought it might help him if he “talked” to Mark again, so he wrote another email.

“Dear Mark,

I have just returned from a three week trip to several villages about a few hundred kilometres from here. We travelled quite a bit this time and seen a lot of people. There was poverty in many places and some children were suffering from malnutrition and sickness. It was a real challenge for me as there were so many patients we have to attend to. Our trip was mainly to provide polio vaccination to children in these villages, but there were many young ones that require medical care as well. Fortunately my team of nurses were excellent as always, and helped me tremendously to deal with it all. I will miss them very much when I leave.

The villagers were very good and kind too. Despite not having a lot themselves, they were very generous with us and offered us their farm produce and even cooked food from their homes. I was really touched and humbled by their kind and generous nature.

My stint as a volunteer is fast coming to a close. I am now back in the head office and will spend a few more days here doing some training and work on a report with some recommendations and suggestions on improving the healthcare service provided by the organisation. I think the current staff are working to their best ability and I am very impressed with what they can do with so little resources. Having limited resources is always the key problem. I can only hope that my report will aid them in their future work.

If I have the opportunity, I will definitely want to come back here to volunteer. I sincerely hope my work had benefited some people, but I think I have learned a lot from this trip too. It has opened my eyes to the world and given me new perspectives on how I see things. Looking at how the villagers are so appreciative with the simple things in life, so loving to their children and so generous to someone outside of their family, despite their poverty and difficult situations in life, is touching for me. Seeing how the volunteers and staff here work so hard and so smart to help so many people with what little resources they have, is humbling for me. One of my responsibility here was to teach the local staff on providing better healthcare for the people. Yet I think I have learned more from them then they from me. In many ways this trip have changed my perspective on things and taught me how lucky I am to have the opportunities I had, although there are some that I have foolishly let slipped from my fingers.

It is really strange how much I can tell you in this email which will never be send to you, as with all the other emails that I have written. I guess it is liberating in that sense, as I will not have to worry about what you would think if you were to read this. I can be free to say what I think and how I feel. Like I am really sorry for lying about how I felt about you, and that I really do miss you.

I have to confess that I feel very disappointed that I have not heard from you for a very long time. I am beginning to think that you have forgotten me and it saddens me. Though I have to say I should have seen this coming, since it was I who said no to you in the first place. I honestly thought it was the best for both of us. Now I realise that I am wrong, but it is too late.

Still I miss you very much and wish you were here with me.

Fer ”

Fernando felt that the email was far too rambling and if Mark were to read it, he would probably think that he was being foolish. But it allowed him to pour his thoughts and feelings into a tangible form that would never be discovered by the person it was addressed to, and for that Fernando was happy with it.

The day soon came when he had to leave and return to London. The team who had worked with him were very sorry to see him leave. They presented him with a gift of a leather wristband as a token of their appreciation and expressed their wishes to see him again. Fernando was very touched by their sweet gesture and promptly put the wristband on. As he waved goodbye to the people before boarding the van that would take him to the airport, he knew that he had gained much more than he had given on this special trip.


	7. A Proper Goodbye

It was early November by the time Fernando returned to London. He had enjoyed his volunteer work but at the same time, he missed his family, friends and colleagues at the hospital, so he was glad to be back amongst them. His parents and sister came to visit him a few days after his return. They were eager to see him after such a long separation and they spent a lovely weekend catching up.

Fernando had already gone back to work, taking only one day rest to recover from the exhaustion of the trip and jet lag. His colleagues in the hospital gave him a warm welcome back and soon he was back to his busy routine in the hospital. He met up with Jenson one day during lunch and after they caught up with each other, Fernando asked if Jenson had heard from Mark, in as casual a tone as possible. 

“The last I heard from him was about a month ago. He told me that he has been really busy at work but he loves it back in Australia as he can see his parents, sister and some old pals more often.”

“Ah, I guess that is something really nice, being so close to family and friends.”

“ I told him that you went off to do volunteer work for UNICEF, did he write to you?”

“No, I did not hear from him. I guess he must be really busy.”

“Yeah, I suppose so.”

The conversation ended soon after that as they both had appointments after lunch. Finding out from Jenson that Mark knew of his trip but yet didn’t write to him was disheartening, but he tried to not be too affected by it.

A few weeks later, Fernando received a rather unexpected text. It was a message from Kimi, asking him if he was free to meet up some time soon. Fernando was really surprised to hear from the Finn and intrigued as well, wondering why Kimi would ask to meet him. He promptly replied to agree on the meet up and they arranged to get together the next day after work.

Fernando arrived at the appointed time at the café where they arranged to meet. Kimi was already there waiting for him.

“Hi, Kimi. I hope you have not waited long.”

“Hi, Fernando. No, I just got here. How have you been? I heard you went to Asia to do some volunteer work for UNICEF.”

“Yes I did. I just came back earlier this month. It was quite an eye-opener for me,” He continued to tell Kimi more about his trip. The Finn was very interested in hearing his experience there and asked him several questions on what he did. They then moved on to talk about what Kimi had been doing lately.

Fernando felt surprised at how easily the conversation flowed between them. They had not really spoken to each other since they separated, except for that one brief encounter over lunch when Mark was present. Now they were talking again like the old times. Fernando was really glad that they could talk like that again. It meant that Kimi was not angry with him anymore and also that he himself could now face the Finn calmly as a friend.

As the conversation between them paused, Kimi took an envelope out of his bag and passed it over to Fernando. He waited a few moments, seemingly thinking about what he wanted to say, before beginning, “ Fernando, there is something that I wish to tell you in person. I am getting married in three weeks and we would like to invite you to the wedding.”

Fernando looked at the envelope in his hand. He opened it to reveal an elegant cream coloured invitation card, with the names Kimi & Kevin and details of the wedding printed in gold letters. This was quite unexpected, but Fernando was genuinely happy for him.

“Congratulations Kimi! I am really happy for you,” Fernando said sincerely.

Kimi looked relieved and smiled, “Thank you. So will you come? We’ll love to see you there.”

“Yes, of course I will. I will be glad to attend.”

“Thank you!” Kimi paused and pondered over his next words, “Kevin and I, we met about a year and a half ago. He is an ER doctor at the other hospital that I work for.”

Fernando thought back to that night when he saw Kimi and another man at the pub, and wondered if that man was Kevin. 

They talked a bit about the preparations for the wedding. Kimi told him that it would be a simple ceremony with only family and close friends. Then they would head off to the Maldives for their honeymoon as Kevin loved the beach. Fernando could tell from the light in Kimi’s eyes that he was really looking forward to getting married to this Kevin whom he obviously loved. He felt genuinely happy that Kimi had found someone that he would settle down with and told him that, adding his sincere wishes to them for a most happy life together. Kimi looked very pleased with Fernando’s well wishes and thanked him so.

The Finn then brought up another topic, “Well, Fernando, there is something else that I would like to talk to you about. I have actually been wanting to talk to you about this for a long time, but I guess I did not have the courage to do it earlier.”

Fernando raised an eyebrow in question and waited for Kimi to elaborate.

“I think I owe you an apology for the way I handled our breakup. I know it was abrupt and unexpected for you, and it must have hurt you a lot.”

Fernando was very surprised to hear this, “No, I don’t think you owe me any apology, I was the one at fault for our breakup, I was too focused on building my career and neglected our relationship, I could have…” 

“Fernando, please listen to me. Yes, you had been too focused on your work and this was one of the reasons that led me to initiate the break up with you. But it was not just your fault. I was at fault too. I could have done something to help us, instead of just blaming you as I did at that time. But I did not. I guess the truth was that after such a long time together, we have drifted so far apart and I thought at that time that it would be a mistake if we continued on like that. We had outgrown our relationship and there was no longer anything special between us. It was the right decision for us to separate, but I did not handle it well.” 

Kimi paused to take a drink and continued, “ To be honest, at that time even though I knew we had to part, I was still very reluctant to do so. I was so used to being with you, you were such an integral part of my life all those years and I was scared of what would happen if I were to be alone. But I knew it had to be done sooner rather then later, so I chose a most extreme approach and didn’t give you any chance at all, for fear that you would change my mind. I know I have hurt you by doing it this way and I am very sorry for it.”

Kimi’s explanation of what happened stunned Fernando. He had never thought of it this way. He had always assumed that he was so angry with him for his failure in their relationship and hence ended it in such a abrupt manner. He had never imagined that Kimi could be scared being separated from him.

“I have never thought of it this way, Kimi. I just thought that I fouled up so badly that you could not stand to be in my presence for another minute,” Fernando said sadly.

“No, Nano. I’m sorry you thought this way. I should have talked to you much earlier, but as I said, I did not feel I could at that time.” Kimi said softly.

Fernando was surprised to hear Kimi call him by his pet name again, something he didn’t think he would ever hear from the Finn again. It brought back memories, both sweet and poignant.

“Kimi, I’m glad you told me this, but I really don’t think you need to apologise to me at all. I was the one who did badly.”

Kimi shook his head and smiled, “ I see some things never change, you are still as stubborn as ever and so determined to carry all responsibility. Anyway, I have apologised as I should and I will choose to keep the pleasant memories of our time together, instead of lingering on who was to blame.”

Fernando was about to protest when he realised the truth of Kimi’s statement. The Finn still knew him so well, after all they spent more than ten years together. Yes, Kimi was right, he should not be so obstinate to hold on to his previous thinking and be trapped by them. It really was time for him to be free of all the past negativities. He smiled back at Kimi and said, “ I think this is a good plan.”

They both felt much more relaxed after this and resumed their friendly conversation about what had been going on with their lives. When it came time to leave, they walked out of the café together. As they stood outside the door, Kimi pulled Fernando into a big hug and whispered in his ear, “ This is the way I should have said goodbye to you two years ago, Nano. I’m glad to have the chance to call you by this name one more time. We had such wonderful times together and I will always remember them. Now, it is time to move on, for both of us. I hope we remain friends and I wish you the best, you deserve all the happiness in the world.” He smiled at Fernando, his familiar lop-sided grin, turned and left.

As Fernando looked on at the retreating figure, he felt as if the chains around his heart had been completely removed and he was finally free from any lingering fear of always being doomed to fail in love. He would always have a corner in his heart for Kimi and remember the good times that they shared but it was indeed time to move on.

There was just one more thing he had to do. Fernando had kept the pair of engagement rings that he planned to use for his proposal to Kimi more than two years ago. He could not bear to get rid of it even if seeing it gave him much pain at that time. The box with the rings laid hidden in his drawer and he had not touched it since. Now it seemed a good time to let that go as well. He did not want to sell it off even though the rings were worth quite a lot of money. Instead, he thought of something that would hopefully do some good. 

The next day, Fernando had the rings placed in a small bag together with the folded certificate of authenticity and a small hand written note stating his intention. He walked to the nearby train station where he knew there would be bell ringers for the Salvation Army since it was near Christmas time. He heard the familiar ringing and saw a woman with a young girl who looked to be her daughter, standing by the red donation kettle. Slipping his hand into his coat pocket, he took out a pre-prepared fifty pound note that was wrapped around the bag with the rings, and slipped it into the kettle. The mother and daughter pair thanked him profusely for his generosity and wished him a very Merry Christmas to come. He thanked them and wished them the same, and walked away with a spring in his step. He felt light hearted and carefree. He was finally free from all shackles of the past.


	8. Taking A Chance

Not being haunted by one’s past was indeed a wonderful feeling, but that did not really tell one how to go about getting to the future that one had wished for. At least not in Fernando’s case. He had come to realize what he really wanted was to be with Mark, or rather he had stopped denying to himself that he really wanted to be with Mark. He was no longer held back by his past and he managed to shed the fear of failing in another relationship. That at least was a hurdle cleared, but a bigger hurdle was before him. How was he to know if he still stood a chance? He had rejected Mark all those months ago, telling him that he did not return his feelings. He had not contacted Mark since he left, even though he had a whole folder of emails written to him which were all unsent. They were thousand of miles apart and not even communicating with each other. How was he to know if Mark still had any wish to be with him? It was not as if he could just fly there and ask him. Australia was half way across the world, and Fernando having just returned to work from a long trip could not see himself asking his boss to let him go away again so soon.

Perhaps fate, for once, took pity on him, for some assistance came not long after, from a most unexpected avenue, the said boss himself. Fernando was called to see his department head Dr Boullier in his office. He promptly went over and was asked to take a seat.

“Fernando, do you remember the paper that we co-authored on advancements in neonatal care?” Dr Boullier asked him. 

“Yes, Dr Boullier, I remember it well,” Fernando answered, wondering why his boss had brought this up. Through their extensive work in the hospital with new born babies, they had studied and developed some methods to enhance the care of pre-mature babies to ensure they had the best chance to grow up healthily. The findings were written in a paper and published in a medical journal, and had received excellent reviews.

"Good. You see, I have received an invitation to present the paper at the International Symposium for Paediatrics and Neonatology. Unfortunately I am not able to go, but I would like you to attend and present the paper instead. You have contributed a lot of excellent work to this publication and I think you will be the best person to do it. It will be a great opportunity for you to attend the symposium. There will be many interesting presentations, talks and panel discussions by experts in our field. You can also meet up with many peers and network with them. I think you will benefit a lot from it.” Dr Boullier explained. 

“Thank you so much. I will be more than happy to go!” Fernando replied gratefully, it was indeed something that he would be very keen to attend.

“The symposium will be held two weeks from now in Sydney, Australia. I know it is a bit of travel, but it will be worth your while.” Dr Boullier smiled kindly.

“Oh, Sydney…” Fernando’s mind flew to someone who was at Sydney.

“Is there any issue?” His boss asked.

“Er, no, no, not at all. I will be ready to go.” The Spaniard quickly answered.

“Excellent. The trip will be fully paid for by the organisers. My secretary will let you know the details.” Dr Boullier concluded their discussion and handed him the letter of invitation to the symposium.

“Thank you, sir.” Fernando took the letter and left the office.

He could not help the excitement and anticipation as he looked at the letter of invitation. This seemed to be the perfect opportunity for him, both work-wise and on a personal level. He was quick to caution himself to remember that this was essentially a work trip and it had to be his first priority. But then again, surely he would able to find some time to look for Mark, wouldn’t he? 

Over the next two weeks, he made preparations for the coming trip. Besides the travel arrangements, he was mainly focused on getting ready the presentation that he would be making, and planning out which sessions he would attend during the symposium. His mind kept wondering to thoughts of Mark though. He was not sure what he should do. Should he tell him that he would be coming to Sydney and arrange to meet up? He decided against it. What if Mark told him he did not want to see him? It did not seem likely, but another scenario came up. What if Mark did not answer to his request to meet? This seemed possible, and if it happened, it would leave him hanging. It was all rather confusing for him so in the end he decided not to contact Mark at all and hope to have a clearer idea of what to do after he got to Sydney. 

Fernando was scheduled to fly on the Saturday before the start of the symposium, which coincided with Kimi’s wedding. Fortunately the wedding was in the afternoon and his flight was at night, which allowed him to attend the wedding first. It was a simple but lovely ceremony attended by family and close friends. Kimi introduced Kevin to Fernando who recognised him as the man Kimi was with that night at the pub. He offered the happy couple his heartfelt congratulations which was received with much appreciation.

After the wedding, Fernando went home to gather his luggage before heading to the airport. The flight to Sydney from London was about twenty three hours with a transit stop. Due to the time difference, he finally arrived in Sydney on Monday morning. The symposium would start on the following day so he decided to take it easy that day and spent it in the hotel resting from the long flight and putting the finishing touches to his presentation. 

He was scheduled to present the paper on Thursday. For the first two days of the symposium, he had planned a full schedule of attending the key note speech, various presentations and panel discussions. He had naturally thought of when he should look for Mark. He considered calling him on the phone, but decided against it as he thought he would probably be tongue-tied and not know what to say. He would look for him directly instead. A few days before he was due to leave on this trip, Jenson asked him if he would look for Mark when he arrived at Sydney. Fernando told Jenson he intended to, but made the Brit promise not to tell Mark about his trip. He hoped to see Mark but he did not wish to pressure him into meeting him should the Australian not wish it. He knew that this was a slightly risky approach as he might not be able to see Mark without pre-arranging, but he thought he would take a chance and let fate decide how things would unfold.

He eventually decided to look for Mark on Thursday evening, after his presentation. He did not want to do it earlier as there was a welcome dinner for all participants of the symposium on Tuesday, and on Wednesday he would need to make sure he was all ready for the presentation the next day. Thursday would be perfect as he would feel more relaxed after accomplishing his main work task for this trip. There would also be time left on Friday evening to meet up with Mark again, if the Australian wished it, which was still a big if for Fernando at that stage. Nevertheless, having his schedule planned out gave him some peace of mind and he put his full focus on finalizing the presentation before taking an early dinner and then turning in for the night.

The next three days passed quickly with many activities at the symposium capturing Fernando’s attention. On Thursday afternoon , he made his presentation. It went well, with an enthusiastic response from the audience asking many questions which he answered confidently. After the presentation, many came up to him to commend him on the work done.

Once the day’s events ended, Fernando made his way towards Mark’s place. He had his home address, given by Mark in his early emails after he just returned to Australia. The place was a few train stations away from the symposium venue. After he exited from the station, he navigated his way to the apartment which was just a short walk away. The apartment was situated in a very nice part of town and it was a pleasant walk with the summer sun still shinning. Fernando, however, was feeling antsy. He had been nervous about seeing Mark ever since he got here, but even more so now that he was finally making his way. He could feel his heart thumping against his chest. He willed himself to calm down as he near the apartment. There was a opened gate leading to the apartment block. Fernando did not know if Mark was already home, though judging by the hour, he might not be. He again thought of calling Mark, but decided that since he was already there, he might as well wait a while to see if he could spot him coming back. There was a walkway leading to the gate with a nice patch of greenery with benches next to it. It was quite a pleasant spot and Fernando sat down to wait. He could still feel his nerves keenly but he tried to order his thoughts and plan what he would say if he saw Mark. He sat there for some time waiting but there was still no sign of the Australian. He started to feel rather silly just sitting there waiting. There was no way to know how long he had to wait. In the first place, Mark could already be home, or he might be out late. There was only thing to do, he finally took out his phone and search for the number that Mark had included in his email. 

Before he called the number, Fernando looked up around him again. That was when he saw a familiar tall figure walking out of the gate. It was Mark! Fernando was about to call out to him, but stopped short as he saw him with another person, a younger looking man with dark curly hair. Mark’s arm were around the other man’s shoulder and to Fernando, they looked to be very intimate with each other. He could hear little snippets of their conversation as they were near but with their backs to him walking in the opposite direction. The younger man was laughing and saying something about being so lucky to be with Mark while the latter was nodding and holding him close. 

Fernando watched in silence as they walked further down the street. The words that he had planned to say when he saw Mark had long died on his lips, leaving his throat patchy and dry. He felt overwhelmed with a mix of emotions, disappointment, sadness, regret and even jealousy. He was indeed feeling jealous of the unknown man next to Mark for it seemed quite clear to Fernando that they were together. He told himself that he should not be surprised by this. It had been quite some time since Mark wrote to him, was he not already wondering if he had forgotten him a few months ago? Besides, it was only natural that someone as attractive as him would be attached before long. Fernando tried to curb the negative feelings arising inside. Surely he should be glad for Mark to find someone who suited him. He should not expect Mark to wait for so long especially since he himself was the one to reject him in the first place.

Fernando began the lonely walk back to the train station. The one thing he could be thankful for was for Mark to not see that he was there. It saved him from the awkwardness of having to explain what he was doing outside his apartment. At least fate had been kind to spare him this pain. He went straight back to the hotel and stayed in the room, not even having any appetite for dinner. He tried his best to calm himself down, but the feelings of disappointment and sadness were at times threatening to overwhelm him. He reminded himself over and over again that he should not be too disappointed since he did not have much expectations to start with. Now, at least now he had an answer to his questions, however negative that answer might be. Most importantly, he reasoned, he should be glad for Mark to find someone since he really deserved to be happy.

In an attempt to distract himself, he took out the stack of proceedings from the symposium and started reading them. He did not have much success though as he was stuck on the same page for many minutes, seeing but not reading much of it. He finally gave up, took his laptop and crawled under the covers on the bed. He opened his email to look at work emails, but ended up looking at the folder where he kept the ones to Mark. He had an urge to delete all of them, but in the end he could not bring himself to do so. He read through the emails and they brought more bittersweet memories for him. Eventually, exhausted by the emotional turmoil of the day, he fell into a troubled sleep.

The next day was the final day of the symposium. Fernando had planned to stay one more day in Sydney with his departure flight scheduled on the wee hours of Sunday morning. He was glad that he did not plan to stay longer. When he was booking his flight, it did occur to him that he might want to spend more time there should he manage to meet up with Mark, but as he was not sure what would happen, he had scheduled it around the symposium dates just allowing one more day. Now, Fernando could not wait to get home.

Still he managed to rally himself and not let his thoughts wander during the last day’s events. He would have all of the next day and the long lonely flight back to wallow in self-pity, he thought mockingly to himself. He attended the program as planned and met up with one of his seniors that he got to know during his paediatrics training, Dr Andrea Stella. Andrea had moved to Australia a few years ago and they had kept in touch as they were good friends during their postgraduate training. Fernando had arranged to meet Andrea who was attending this last day of the symposium. It was great catching up with Andrea, and they decided to go for dinner after the conclusion of the day’s events.

Before proceeding to dinner, Andrea told Fernando that he needed to make a trip back to his office at the hospital he worked for to collect some documents that he wanted to review over the weekend. The hospital was only a few train stations away from the symposium venue. Fernando decided to follow Andrea back to his work place. As they approached the hospital, he realised that it was the same hospital that Mark was working for when he saw the name just outside the main building. He did not think that he would bump into Mark as it was a large hospital, but just to be on the safe side, he decided to remain outside and told Andrea that he would wait for him at the sheltered walkway that led to the hospital.

Fernando took out his phone to check his emails while he waited. He was engrossed in reading something when he heard a familiar Australian accent.

“Fernando? Is it you?”

Fernando could not believe his ears. It was far too coincidental for Mark to be out here at the same time as him. He looked up and saw that it was indeed the Australian, standing just a few steps away, with the same young man he saw yesterday in tow. His heart sunk as he saw Mark’s companion. If there was any lingering doubt about them being together from what he saw the day before, now there was further confirmation. 

Mark on seeing that it really was the Spaniard took the few steps between them quickly and stood right in front of him, his left hand touching Fernando’s right shoulder. He looked straight at him and said, “It really is you, Fernando! What are you doing here?” Mark’s face broke into a beautiful smile as he continued to stare at Fernando, as if he could not believe that he was there.

He felt Mark’s touch on his shoulder burnt through the thin fabric of the white shirt that he was wearing. His heart started to race and he could only gaze at the Australian, standing so close, looking at him in that familiar way. He felt a sudden urge to pull Mark into a tight hug. One more step, only one more step and he would be able to close the gap. He felt his arms wanting to move towards Mark and hold him, but he managed to curb this urge and instead folded them against his chest. 

Fernando was so grateful that he was wearing his sunglasses. He was sure he was looking at Mark with such yearning, having missed him so much. If he did not have his sunglasses on, he would be totally exposed. He replied in as calm a tone as possible, “Hi, Mark. What a surprise! I, er, I am here with a friend. He works here and he needed to come back to get some documents.”

Fernando’s answer did not explain much to Mark, as he asked next, “Oh, but what brings you to Australia? I have no idea you were coming at all!”

“I am here to attend the paediatrics and neonatology symposium that is held in the convention center nearby.”

"I see. I wish I knew you were coming. We could have arranged to meet up.” Mark’s smile seemed to dim a little, “when did you arrive and how long will you be staying?”

"I arrived on Monday and will be leaving tomorrow night, well actually early Sunday morning.”

“Oh,” Mark paused and he looked visibly disappointed. He continued, looking a bit more hopeful, “ I wish we can catch up over dinner or something. Do you have time for dinner tonight?”

“That would be nice, but I already have a dinner appointment with Andrea, my friend who works here.” Fernando was glad he really had an appointment lined up with Andrea, and he did not have to lie to avoid being near to Mark and his partner, who now chimed in.

“Dr Andrea Stella? Is Dr Stella the friend you are waiting for?” The younger man asked.

Mark seemed to only then remember the younger man’s presence as he introduced him as Daniel Ricciardo, a young doctor who had just graduated from medical school and started working in the hospital. Fernando shook hands with Daniel and told him that it was indeed Dr Stella that he was waiting for.

“I’ve worked with Dr Stella on quite a few occasions. Excellent doctor and great guy too,” Mark told Fernando.

Just then, the man himself appeared. He was a little surprised to see Fernando with two of his colleagues but was soon informed that Mark and Fernando were previously colleagues.

“It is such a small world! Imagine meeting up half way across the globe.” Andrea exclaimed to the agreement of all.

“Yes, it is such a coincidence, “ Mark agreed.

"Well, I guess I shouldn’t keep you any longer. It is really nice to see you again, Mark,” Fernando said, feeling an acute ache rising in his heart as he prepared to leave him. “Maybe we can catch up again the next time I come to Australia,” he continued, although he had no idea when or if he would come to Australia again, but he thought he should say something. He started to turn away but he was held back by Mark.

“Fernando, do you have any time tomorrow before you leave? Maybe we can catch up over dinner tomorrow?” 

He wanted to say no. He did not think he could see Mark with Daniel again and pretend to be not affected at all. But Mark was looking at him so hopefully and he did not have the heart to reject him. “ Ummm, I don’t really have any plans tomorrow.”

“Great! Then I can see you tomorrow? Let me buy you dinner!” Mark sounded really pleased.

“No, I should buy you dinner, I still owe you one,” Fernando remembered his promise to cook Mark dinner that weekend at his place. He did not have the opportunity to do that anymore, but buying him dinner would at least make up for it.

“Oh, you still remember that. Jenson made you promise to cook me a dinner. Yeah, I would have loved to have the chance to try your cooking skills.” Mark had a far away look in his eyes as his mind seemed to drift back to that weekend. “Wait, why not this. Come to my place and I will cook you dinner.” 

“Oh, I don’t think I should trouble you like that,” Fernando could not imagine how he would stomach seeing Mark and Daniel together at their home.

“It’s no trouble at all. I would love to have you. It’ll be quieter and easier to talk as well. Unless of course you prefer to cook instead of having to tolerate my cooking again?” Mark said half jokingly.

“Your cooking is very good. It is just that I don’t want to bother you.” Fernando was still trying to find a way out. Mark looked quite disappointed by his answer which made him paused. He would probably never get to see him again, so perhaps he should take this opportunity to fulfil his promise. He made up his mind, despite feeling rather uneasy about it. “ Well, I guess I can try cooking something at your place, if you don’t mind me messing it up?”

Mark’s face broke into a brilliant smile as he nodded, “Sounds great! You can mess it up all you want! Think I’ll be in for a nice treat.”

They agreed that they would meet at three-thirty the next afternoon. Mark would come to the hotel to fetch him so that they could go buy the food for cooking before proceeding to his place. The Australian insisted on sending him to the airport after dinner so he asked him to check out and bring all his luggage to his place tomorrow. Fernando could not think of a reason to decline and so he agreed. 

They parted ways after that. Fernando and Andrea went to a nearby restaurant for dinner. Throughout dinner, his thoughts kept wondering to Mark. Despite what had happened the day before, he was really glad to see Mark again. The Australian looked pleased to see him too, but Fernando knew that this was just him being his friendly self, nothing more. Did he not receive further confirmation that Mark and Daniel, as he knew his name now, were a couple since they appeared together again today? Fernando was quite apprehensive of what would happen tomorrow. What if he could not manage to control his emotions in front of them and embarrass himself? It really seemed like a bad idea to agree to go to their place but he could not get out of it. The worst of it though, thought Fernando, was how overwhelmed he felt with Mark standing next to him, hand on his shoulder. He was literally that close to throwing himself into Mark’s embrace and telling him how much he missed him. 

With so many conflicting thoughts in his mind, Fernando was rather distracted over dinner. There were several times when Andrea asked him something but he did not hear at all, and had to ask him to repeat the question. He apologised but Andrea just smiled and said he did not mind. Their dinner ended quite early and they promised to keep in touch as they bid each other goodbye


	9. As Fate Would Have It

The next day, Fernando spent the whole morning nervously thinking about what would happen later on at Mark’s house. He had decided to cook a Spanish seafood stew based on a recipe from his mother, since there was ample fresh seafood in Sydney, and pair it with some flavoured wild rice. He would also make a warm chocolate cake as he remembered that Mark loved chocolate. The cake was quite simple to make and tasted wonderful. He wasn’t really worried about what he would cook, it was, rather, how he could appear as neutral as possible in front of Mark and Daniel, and not let any of his disappointment or jealousy show. In fact he was most worried about how he could curb those feelings of jealousy. As a mild and gentle mannered person, he was surprised by the strong surge of dislike he felt towards Daniel who seemed like a nice decent guy. He could only brace himself for the onslaught as he imagined seeing both of them in front of him behaving in an intimate way for an entire evening.

Fernando checked out of the hotel and was waiting for Mark at the lobby before three-thirty in the afternoon. The Australian soon arrived in his car and helped put his luggage in the car. He came alone without Daniel, for which Fernando was secretly very thankful for. Mark drove them to a nearby store to shop for the necessary things. He seemed to be in really high spirits today, as he cheerfully told Fernando about his life over here in Sydney. The Spaniard thought he looked even more handsome than before, when he was working in London, even though he was dressed casually in a simple white polo shirt and jeans. It must be because of Daniel, he thought and could not help the pangs of jealousy that rose in his heart. When Mark noticed how quiet his friend was, he asked if anything was wrong.

“Ah, nothing. I was just thinking if Daniel has any dietary restrictions. I am planning to make a Spanish seafood stew.” Fernando managed to fib an excuse.

“Daniel? Oh, he is not joining us tonight. He has an appointment with his friends. So we don’t have to include his share.”

Mark looked at him with an expression which he could not quite read. Fernando felt a little self-conscious, hoping that he had not sounded sour when mentioning Daniel’s name and given himself away. But Mark did not seem to think that, as he smiled and continued talking enthusiastically about how much he looked forward to dinner cooked by Fernando.

It was five in the evening as they reached Mark’s place with all the shopping. He lived in a spacious apartment on a high floor with a balcony overlooking a beautiful view of the city, with glimpses of the harbour afar. Fernando was admiring the view when Mark handed him a drink.

“This is such a beautiful view. You must be very happy to live here.” 

“It is a nice view, but I have too little time to look at it. I am usually home late and quite tired after a day’s work. Same as when I was back in London, I guess. But I do miss living in London. My apartment there was small but it held quite a few wonderful memories.”

Fernando agreed secretly to himself that there were some memories for him there too, but those memories were more bittersweet for him now. He quickly changed the topic and said that he should get started on dinner.

Mark offered to help him. They worked together, with Mark preparing the vegetables while Fernando dealt with the seafood and readied the rice with herbs and spices for cooking. The Spaniard enjoyed preparing dinner together with Mark. He seemed to be able to anticipate what he needed and got them ready even before he asked. They worked together so well, Fernando could not help feeling the blissful domesticity of the situation. Once the ingredients were all ready, he asked Mark to sit back and relax as he started to cook. He got the rice cooking in a pot, then put the stew together quite quickly and left it simmering on the stove, before starting on the warm chocolate cake. Fernando had not prepared this for a while so he took out his laptop which had all his recipes to check out the proportions. He asked Mark if he could leave it on the breakfast table near the kitchen.

“Sure, mate. So this doubles up as your recipe book too?” Mark asked as Fernando set up his laptop so that he could look at the recipe easily.

“Yeah, my mother sends me her recipes via email. I just keep them in a folder and refer whenever I need to.” Fernando went back to measuring the ingredients for the cake.

“Can I have a look at the recipes? It will be great if I can learn to cook some Spanish food too!”

“Sure, feel free to look. They are all in the same folder in my email.” 

Fernando continued to work on the cake while keeping an eye on the stew and rice. Both were soon ready and he turned off the heat. A while later, he heard Mark whisper in a strange anguished tone, “Oh, Fernando…”

He looked up and saw Mark staring at him, his eyes sad and even a little red. He wondered what went wrong and was about to ask, when a most terrible thought struck him. He rushed to his side and saw with horror what Mark was looking at. It was one of his unsent emails to him, the one which he wrote just before he finished his volunteer stint. He kept all the unsent emails in a folder named M. The folder was now open, with part of that email showing on the preview pane.

He snapped the laptop shut and snatched it away. “No, no, no! You are not supposed to see this!” he exclaimed. 

How did Mark see this? What would he think of him? This was in every way horrible. 

“I am so sorry, Fernando. I didn’t mean to see this. I was looking at the recipes when I accidentally closed the folder. I saw the folder marked M and assumed it meant mother so I opened it, I really didn’t mean to read your emails. I only saw the part on the preview panel as it fell on that email…” Mark quickly explained.

Fernando felt the heat rising up his neck to his face. The situation might seem funny, if it were not happening to him. But it was, and he was beyond embarrassed. He felt like an idiot and totally ashamed. He could not face Mark, he had to leave immediately. 

He whispered urgently, “I have to go. Can’t stay,” clutching on to his laptop tightly and without even thinking about getting his other things, he dashed towards the door. In his haste to leave, he did not see his own luggage placed next to the dining chair. He tripped over it and was sent sprawling onto the floor, hitting it hard. It hurt, but not as much as it hurt within. His humiliation was complete as he felt like a total fool in front of Mark.

In an instant, Mark was beside him. The Australian had been shocked to see Fernando’s reaction, but he was quick to move to him when he saw him falling.

“Are you hurt, Fernando?” Mark asked with great concern and he held Fernando in his arms as he helped him up.

The Spaniard shook his head and struggled out of Mark’s hold. He wished there was a hole to swallow him up so that Mark would never see him again. 

“I have to go now, Mark,” he tried to get away again.

“No please, Fernando! We need to talk.” Mark pleaded as he held on to his arm and tried to lead him to the couch.

Fernando followed him reluctantly. Mark sat him down on the couch and sat right next to him.

“Are you sure you are all right? Let me have a look.” Mark gently held his wrists to check for any sprains and did likewise for his ankles. “ Do they hurt?” he asked.

He again shook his head. Mark was still so nice and concerned for him, which made him felt worse. He felt really stupid and wanted nothing more than to disappear. But he could not. He could only look down in embarrassment.

“Fernando, please. Would you look at me? I am really sorry for violating your privacy. I really did not mean to see it. Please don’t be angry with me.” 

Fernando was surprised that Mark was worried about him being angry. He finally looked up and saw that his face was full of contrite.

“No, I was not angry with you. I was only annoyed with myself, at how stupid and careless I was to let you see those emails.”

It was Mark’s turn to be surprised, “You are too hard on yourself. It was my fault. I was clumsy and closed the folder by accident. Then I wrongly assumed that folder was the one we were talking about. Please forgive me.” 

Fernando did not know what to say. Perhaps Mark could pretend that he did not understand what he read in that email. After all, it would not mean anything to him now that he had gotten someone else who was so much better. 

He was, however, disappointed as Mark said next, “As I said, I am really sorry for this, but I’m afraid I cannot unsee what I have seen. I need to ask. Is that email for me? I saw my name and there were quite a few others in the folder.”

Fernando felt his heart sank as his small hope of being let off the hook was dashed. He tried to think of some excuse to salvage the situation, but he could not think of any. It would mean lying what the emails were about. He had lied once about his feelings about Mark, and he did not want to do that again. The emails contained his sincere words and feelings, he could not belittle the value of those. They meant a lot to him, even though they must mean nothing to the recipient now. So he tried what he thought was next best, to avoid answering altogether.

“It really does not matter what they are now, Mark. Surely you understand?”

“No, I really don’t understand. I think it matters a lot. Please, Fernando, are those emails meant for me? Why were they not sent out?” Mark was insistent and he took hold of Fernando’s hand and gripped it tightly.

The Spaniard tried to withdraw his hand but to no avail. He had no choice but to say exasperatedly, “ Why would they matter? Yes, I wrote those emails to you but I did not dare send them. And I am glad I did not. Not when you have already found someone else! If it were not for my carelessness and stupidity, you would never have found out about the emails in the first place. And we could just enjoy this last evening together and part as friends!” Fernando felt an acute ache in his heart as he said the last sentence, and thought to himself that they would now not be able to remain even as friends.

“Wait, what? Found someone else? What do you mean?” Mark looked totally bewildered.

Fernando now felt annoyance with Mark. Why was he being so deliberately obtuse? 

“You know what I mean. Please can we just forget about the emails?” He looked away, not wanting to face Mark.

“No, I don’t know what you mean. I really don’t. And I cannot just forget about the emails, they are important to me!”

Fernando huffed. Mark was making this so difficult and there seemed to be no way to end this argument. He felt compelled to spill it out, “ I know about you and Daniel! You are with him now. So how can the emails be of any importance to you? Am sorry you have seen them. Can you just forget about the whole thing please?” He knew his tone was dripping with jealousy, but he could not help it anymore.

There was a strange expression on Mark’s face. He looked stunned, then slowly his face cracked into a wide smile and he even started to laugh.

Fernando again felt the heat radiating from his face. Great, Mark was now laughing at his stupidity and jealousy. This was turning out to be a nightmare. He needed to leave immediately. He tried to stand but was stopped by Mark who now gripped both of his hands tightly.

“Me and Daniel? You think that Daniel and I are together? How did you come to that conclusion?”

Fernando was confused. He could not understand what Mark found to be so funny but could sense that perhaps something was not quite right in what he thought originally. He said feebly, “ I, er, I saw the both of you right outside your apartment on Thursday evening. You were acting so close and just like a couple, so I thought…”

“You were here on Thursday? Were you looking for me? Why didn’t you call me?”

“I was waiting for you and was going to call but then I saw you with Daniel, and thought you were with him. You looked so happy talking to each other and so intimate. I just thought….” 

Mark heaved a sigh, “ No, no, I am most definitely not with Daniel. He lives here but it is only because our families were neighbours back then, and since he was just starting out, I thought it would be good to help him out a bit. On Thursday we were going out to meet Daniel’s partner Jean Eric for dinner. As usual Daniel was talking a lot of nonsense. I don’t know what you heard, but there really is nothing between us," the Australian emphasised.

“Oh…” It was all Fernando could say. He did not know what to think or feel. So it was all a misunderstanding! Mark was not with Daniel. He began to feel a little glimmer of hope. At the same time, he again felt his face flushed with embarrassment for jumping to the wrong conclusion.

“So you did come look for me. You know what mate, I was rather upset yesterday when I found out that you have been here almost a week and did not look for me at all. Now I know you did!” Mark smiled brightly at Fernando and continued, “ I was wondering just now when we were at the store why you assumed that Daniel would be here for our dinner. I did not recall telling you that he was staying with me. Now I know why.”

The Spaniard blushed even more at this teasing. He looked down at their joined hands but could not think of anything to say.

“Now that this is cleared up, we need to go back to those emails,” Mark’s tone turned serious, “ Fernando, I need to know please. Are those emails for me? Why did you not send them out?”

Fernando managed to free one of his hands and rubbed his eyes. He was really unsure what he should say, but he knew he needed to come clean. Now that he realised Mark was not attached, he felt a little less appalled by him seeing the emails, even though he was still embarrassed about it. He took a few breaths to calm himself. Mark was looking at him, patiently waiting for an answer.

“Mark, there are so many things to say, I really don’t know if it will make any sense to you, but I will try.” 

He gathered his courage and started to explain, starting with that weekend at Mark’s place, how he felt about Mark’s declaration and why he had to reject him. He shyly admitted that he already liked Mark a lot at that time but was so afraid of failing at another relationship and getting both them badly hurt that he thought it was for the best he rejected him, despite how he really felt. The Australian took a deep breath when he heard Fernando’s feelings for him. His grip on his hand tightened as he looked like he wanted to say something, but stopped himself to let Fernando continue.

He went on to tell Mark about how affected he was by his leaving and going to the airport after receiving the goodbye message but not daring to approach him. 

Mark nodded at this, “ I knew that you were there after I arrived here in Sydney. Jenson told me you were at the airport. I wish I saw you at that time. It gave me a glimmer of hope even though I thought I should not hope for too much since you made it quite clear that weekend. But, still, it gave me the courage to try to keep in touch with you by sending those emails. I did not continue though, after I did not receive any reply.” He finished with a sad sigh.

“I had wanted to reply, but I was not able to put anything down. I thought of sending you a short message to wish you well, but there was more that I wanted to say but could not. So I ended up remaining silent. I went away for a while to do some volunteer work because I needed some time away to clear my head. The trip was such an eye opener and I think I benefited more from it than I contributed. It really put things in perspective and helped me to understand so much. It was also at that time that I thought of writing emails to you that I did not intend to send. I wrote many during then, telling you about things that happened and my experiences there, wondering what you would do if you were there. It allowed me to put down how I felt. I guess it gave me a channel to tell you things but I don’t have to be afraid of how it may turn out since you would never read them.”

Fernando stopped at this point, unsure of whether to say more, but Mark gave him an encouraging look to go on.

“I don’t know how much you read of that email that was opened, but I guess you have seen at least the last few lines. Yes, I have missed you very much, actually ever since that weekend at your place and things were not the same between us anymore. I guess you probably think I am really stupid and fickle to reject you but then say that I miss you right after. I could not think of a better way at that time. But I know that I was wrong and those emails allowed me to tell you how I felt though I never expected you to read them. After I went back to London, I tried to immerse myself back to my old routine but being back in the hospital only made me think more of you. It was also then that Kimi met up with me and told me that he was getting married. I was really happy for him. We talked and I realised that he did not blame me for our breakup. It was a relief, because even though I have gotten over the heartbreak by then, I was a bit wary of how I may always be a failure in these matters. Clearing things up with him made me feel free from all those negative thoughts.”

He paused to gather his thoughts, before continuing again, “Still I did not know what to do. I have not heard from you for such a long time, and not unexpectedly so, since I was the one who did not reply to your emails in the first place. So when the opportunity came for me to come for this conference, I thought I will take the chance and come look for you. I really didn’t know what to expect and so I did not try to call you or prearrange anything. Of course then I started to misunderstand and here you find me, feeling silly and embarrassed by my stupid display.”

He finally finished with all he wanted to say. He felt drained after telling Mark so much and rested his head on the couch. Mark was silent and looked to be in deep thought. He removed his hold on Fernando’s hand, stood up and walked to look out of the balcony. The Spaniard immediately felt the loss of his presence. He could not understand Mark’s reaction and could only sit in silence, waiting for his response. 

The silence stretched on for some time, during which Fernando felt increasing uneasy. Perhaps it was really too late, maybe Mark had already gotten over him. He might not be with Daniel but that did not mean he still wanted to be with him. His confession probably put him in a spot and he might be thinking of a way to let him down gently. Fernando felt his heart sinking but knew that he could not blame Mark for this. He should probably leave him alone now. He was about to say something when Mark turned back and walked towards him.

“Fernando, will you consider letting me read those emails?” Mark asked him as he sat down next to him again.

Fernando was surprised by the question, he thought Mark would be telling him how he could not accept his feelings now or something like that. He replied uncertainly, “Ummm, I don’t know. I never meant for you to read them.”

“I understand and I have to respect your privacy. It is just that I wish I knew how you felt all along. It would have spared both of us a lot of pain.” Mark sighed heavily, “ I was just thinking how close we were to missing out on each other again with all these misunderstandings. It shudders me to think that I could have not even been aware that you were in Sydney if you had not come with Andrea to the hospital and I happened to meet you.” 

“Oh, I thought…” Fernando was stunned, he thought Mark was about to tell something else.

“Thought what?” Mark looked at him quizzically.

“I thought you were about to tell me that it was too late for us, that you have gotten over me a long time ago. You were so quiet just now…” Fernando said sheepishly.

“What? Geesh, it seems we are destined to misunderstand each other. Let me make it clear then, Fernando. I have missed you so much and am so happy to see you. I have to admit that there was a time when I did not hear from you for so long that I almost gave up hope and tried to get over you. But I didn’t get far with that. Maybe because I‘m such a stubborn ass that I couldn’t take no for an answer. If you had not come to Australia, I would probably have gotten myself back to London to look for you at some point.” 

Mark held his hand again and started rubbing circles on it with his thumb, “Just now, there was so much that you told me, that I needed to process it all through. Besides, you look so adorable when you are jealous, I have to take a few minutes to savour that look and remember it.” Fernando pouted at his teasing, but Mark smiled lovingly at him as he cupped his cheek with one hand, and continued, “Make no mistake about it though, now that I know how you feel, I will never let you go again.” 

As if to emphasise his point, Mark pulled Fernando into a tight embrace. They looked at each other intently, lips just inches apart. Mark closed the gap and captured his lips, tenderly at first, but increased the pressure when he met with perfectly soft yielding lips. He teased them open with his tongue and started to explore the sweetness within. They continued thus for a long time, until they had to surface for air. With their foreheads leaning on each other and still wrapped in a tight embrace, they breathed in deeply, savouring the closeness of the other. Fernando took the initiative next and started another long passionate kiss. 

“I will not be able to stop at this, if you continue to kiss me like that,” Mark’s voice was unsteady and rough.

“Then don’t!” Fernando continued to kiss him with hunger. After finally coming to an understanding, after months of yearning, the passion that they had for one another overflowed, leading to a deluge of feelings and desire cascading over them. Neither could stop even if they had tried. 

Eventually Fernando felt Mark tugging at him to stand and they finally broke contact. Mark held him close as Fernando found himself rather unsteady on his feet, and quickly led him to his room. Once inside, he sat Fernando on the bed and started kissing him again, leaving a trail from his forehead, eyes, nose then back to his lips. His hands were working at the same time to shed him of his shirt and jeans. Fernando tried to divest of Mark’s but his task was slightly more complicated given that the latter was wearing a polo shirt. He managed to pull it over his head after breaking contact of their lips for a brief few seconds. When there was finally nothing between them, Fernando stared at how beautiful Mark looked. The Australian was also gazing at him with adoration as he told him how gorgeous he was.

Mark laid him down on the bed as he placed himself right next to him. Fernando suddenly felt a little nervous and Mark seemed to feel the same way too. They decided to start slowly, exploring where and how to give the other pleasure, each taking delight in finding a spot where the other was particularly susceptible to. Fernando discovered that Mark’s weak spot was on his collarbone as he moaned most adorably as he sucked him there, while Mark found out that his was behind his ear as he was rendered quite helpless when the Australian started his attack there. 

As they got more in-tuned to each other, they turned a touch more daring as both were hungry to explore more of the other. Fernando sat up and straddled Mark over his thighs. He bent down and slowly teased his member with the lightest of touches with his tongue. Mark gave a small groan at the teasing sensation, his fingers tangled in Fernando’s hair as he drew him closer. The Spaniard took this as an indication that he wanted more and quickly obliged, drawing his whole length into his mouth as he flicked his tongue around and hollowed his cheeks, making his man writhe wildly underneath him. Mark threw his head back and closed his eyes, engulfed by the sensations that was inflicted on him. As Fernando increased his pace, Mark produced the most delightful moans, which in turn spurred him on to increasing his efforts, finally pushing him to the climax. The Australian indulged in the wonderful sensation for a few moments, then slowly regained his senses as he opened his eyes to look lovingly at Fernando who was still in a much aroused state as his own was painfully hard. He drew Mark’s hands towards his throbbing member and wrapped them around the length. Mark started slowly and as Fernando leaned forward and grinded his hips on his, he upped the pace and had the Spaniard moaning with pleasure as he came, trying to hold on to the wonderful feeling as long as he could. Eventually, he collapsed on Mark’s chest, feeling entirely exhausted after the exertion. Mark held on to him tenderly, planting loving kisses on his hair, as both were blissfully happy with finally coming together.

After a few minutes in this position, Fernando rolled off his chest and laid next to him. Mark was gently stroking his hair and the soothing motion was luring him to sleep, but he knew he should not. He forced his eyes open to see the Australian looking at him and then pressed a tender kiss on his lips. Mark didn’t linger for long though, he sat up, got off the bed and stepped into the bathroom. Fernando heard the sound of water running and he soon returned with a damp warm towel which he used to gently wiped Fernando’s body. He felt a wonderful warmth rising within him at Mark’s tender ministrations. He wished more than anything to be able to just curl up next to him and fall asleep but time was a luxury that they could not afford. He sat up and was about to reach for his clothes when Mark brought a lush thick bathrobe and helped him put it on.

“I think you will be more comfortable in this for now. You probably want to shower before you go so this will be easier too.” 

It was indeed very comfortable, it was soft and smelled faintly of Mark. Fernando thanked him as he helped to tie the waistband to secure the robe around him. Mark then put on a hoodie and joggers on himself.

“I guess we still have that dinner we should get on with,” Mark said with a smile.

Fernando nodded and was about to leave the room when he noticed a framed photo on the bed stand. He realised that it was actually the photo of them taken last Christmas. He picked it up and looked at their smiling faces. It was nearly one year ago when they took this picture. 

“You printed this out and framed it up!” Fernando said with feeling.

“It was the only thing I had of us when I came back here. I wanted to be able to see it all the time,” Mark explained rather shyly.

He feel incredibly touched by this. It showed him how much he really meant to Mark. He enveloped Mark in a tight embrace to show how much he appreciated this.

“You are so wonderful, Mark. I am so glad that we are able to clear up our misunderstanding and be together.”

“Like-wise, Fer. You make me so happy by being here.”

After lingering in each other’s embrace for a while, they finally managed to make their way out of the room. It was past eight o’clock and they really needed to get on with dinner. Fernando, though, had already resolved in his mind to do what he could to lengthened the time he had left to spend with Mark but he would first need to get dinner ready for him.

Fortunately the rice and stew were still warm on the stove. He only had to finish with the cake and popped it into the oven. They then started on their dinner. They sat close next to each other at the dinning table, overlooking the beautiful scenery of the city beyond. Mark was full of praise for the food, saying that it was one of the most delicious meals that he ever had. When the cake was ready, Fernando took it out and they shared it, both delighting in feeding the other spoonfuls of cake that was oozing with melted chocolate.

After dinner, Mark insisted that he would do the clean up and asked Fernando to sit down and relax. He took the opportunity to make a phone call to set his plan in motion. It took a while for it to be arranged and cost quite a bit but it was finally done. He returned to Mark who had just finished with the cleaning. It was already well past nine o’clock.

Mark drew him into his arms and sighed. “If only time could stand still. We have so little time left tonight, but we will see each other again soon?” He looked at Fernando hopefully.

“Yes, we will definitely see each other again soon. But maybe we can have a bit more time together, if you don’t mind having me around here tonight?”

“What do you mean? Isn’t your flight in a few hours time?” 

“Well, I didn’t ask you beforehand but I called to reschedule my flight to tomorrow. Fortunately it was possible with just a bit of rebooking fee. I will fly back on early Monday morning here and still be able to reach London on Monday evening due to the time difference, and get back to work on Tuesday as originally planned. I don’t know if you mind sparing me a little space here though, since I have already checked out of the hotel and have no where to go. Maybe I can just stay out here on the couch?” Fernando asked with mock-seriousness.

Mark’s face cracked into a wide smile and tightened his hold on him, “No way I will allow you to sleep on the couch. You will be coming in the room with me! Oh, this is great, Fernando. I am so glad we have more time together! I didn’t think you could postpone your departure although I was wishing it. I didn’t dare to ask since I know it will be difficult for you to miss even a day of work at the hospital.”

“My original plan was to return to London on Sunday evening and have one day to recover from the jet lag before going back to the hospital on Tuesday. Flying one day later will still allow me to get back to work on Tuesday as planned so it is no problem.”

“I see, so you have already buffered in a contingency in case you need to stay here longer!” Mark said teasingly.

“I don’t know, maybe subconsciously I did.” Fernando admitted shyly.

“This is really wonderful, I was dreading to see you go so soon. Now I can have you here for one more day.” 

They spent the rest of the evening talking about what they had been doing those months they were apart. Fernando shared more of his experiences doing volunteer work and they agreed that they should find an opportunity to do it together in future. Mark told him about his life in Australia and some of the outdoor activities that he enjoyed on the weekends when he was not so busy with work. They also talked about a wide range of other topics, both enjoying immensely the closeness of the other as they talked. At times when there were pauses in the conversation, they just sat contentedly together, holding the other close, totally comfortable in the momentary silence between them.

When the clock struck twelve, they decided to retire to bed. Mark held his hand as they walked into his room which prompted Fernando to recall the last time they shared a bed at Mark's house outside London. It was an entirely different circumstance now, and there was no awkwardness as they laid on the bed, snuggling close to each other. Mark was gently running his fingers through his hair, and Fernando, tired out by the emotional roller-coaster that he went through in the day, soon fell into a peaceful slumber.

It was early morning when Fernando’s eyes fluttered open. He could not remember the last time he slept so well. Waking up, he found himself in a position similar to that all those months ago when he woke up with Mark next to him spooning him close. This time though he could relax and simply enjoy the feeling of being securely held by one’s lover. He turned to look at Mark who was still asleep. His jaw was covered in a light shadow of stubble and it made him look incredibly handsome and sexy. Fernando managed to shift a little to turn to face him and started placing feather light kisses on his face. He didn’t mean to wake him but he looked so adorable when asleep that he could not resist doing that. Mark started stirring and his eyes were still heavy with sleep as he opened them.

“Good morning, my darling. Such a nice feeling to wake up to,” Mark said with a lazy smile as he cuddled Fernando close.

“Good morning. Sorry I woke you up,” Fernando apologised.

“No worries, mate. It is a nice wake up call. I wish to have it everyday.”

Mark started rubbing soothing circles on his back as they laid facing each other. It was still early and they were not in a hurry to get up from bed.

“Do you remember that morning in my room after the storm?” Mark asked softly.

Fernando nodded, snuggling closer to him.

"It was so amazing to wake up with you in my arms. You were still sleeping then and it took me all of my self-control not to kiss you. I couldn’t control myself so well later on though, by the lake, you were just too tempting, ” Mark continued with a glint in his eyes.

“Hmmm, well, I was actually awake that morning. I pretended to be sleeping because I didn’t know what to do. I felt so awkward but at the same time, it felt wonderful to be held by you. I don’t know how we ended up in that position, just like this morning.” 

“I think this is what it means when they say there are magnetic forces all around us.” Mark said playfully.

“Oh, then does it mean we are polar opposites?”

“Yeah, I think so. I am always good and honest, while you are naughty and cheeky.” 

“No, it should be the other way!”

“Don’t think so, you are the crafty one pretending to be sleeping while secretly enjoying me holding you!” 

Amidst their silly banter and teasing of each other, Mark fingers moved to loosen the belt on Fernando’s robe and started to push the robe off his shoulders. He looked at Fernando with darkened eyes and said, “In fact, I think I need to punish you for being such a mischievous one….” He didn’t let Fernando respond as he sealed his mouth with his lips and proceeded to show him what he meant.


	10. Precious Moments

It was midmorning when they finally emerged from the room. Mark had donned the robe that Fernando wore, while the Spaniard put on his hoodie and joggers, both feeling very contented to be wrapped up in the unique comforting scent left by the other. They have forgotten something or rather, someone, though, and were a little surprised when they saw Daniel sitting at the table, wagging his eyebrows at them with a smirk.

“Good morning! Looks like someone missed his flight,” the younger Australian said cheekily.

Fernando could feel the heat rising in his cheeks, but Mark took the teasing in his stride and pulled Fernando even closer to him.

“So you decided to come home last night?” Mark asked his house mate.

“Nah, I stayed at Jev’s. Wouldn’t want to defy your orders! I just came back not too long ago,” Daniel replied with a wide grin, “ but I guess it is still too soon for you. Well, to make up for my unwelcome presence, I have made breakfast for you guys. Nice and hot oatmeal, a breakfast fit for champions, and for a top cardiologist and his paediatrician!”

Mark rolled his eyes at Daniel, as he walked to the kitchen to pour some coffee and scooped up some oatmeal for Fernando and himself.

Daniel continued,” Fernando, you have no idea how glad I am to see you still here. I cannot imagine if you had left last night. Our old man here would probably have sulked so much his jaw would have hit the floor!”

Mark started making warning noises to Daniel but the latter ignored him while continuing to tell Fernando in a mock whisper, “ You should have seen him on Friday night after you left us. He had such a love struck look on his face and was so totally distracted during dinner that he started shaking salt into his beer!” 

Fernando couldn’t help but smile at this funny image of Mark who by now had warned Daniel sternly to stop.

Despite that, the young Australian mischievously continued, “Oh, I met with Dr Stella yesterday morning when I went back to the hospital. I asked him how his dinner went and he said it was fine except that Dr Alonso was very distracted and so unlike his usual self all through dinner. Looks like it’s something contagious, eh? Wonder who started it?”

Fernando face had turned rather red on becoming the target of his teasing. Mark glared at Daniel as he came to the table with their breakfast to try to silence him. He then smiled affectionately at Fernando, and sat close beside him. The fact that they could be close together so openly was still such a novelty to Fernando and he relished it. Sitting right next to the other meant that they came into contact ever so often. Each bump of their shoulders, each touch of their legs and each brush of their arms or fingers had them smiling at each other, as they slowly ate their breakfast.

It was Daniel’s turn to roll his eyes. “ Ok, guys, I don’t think I can take your lovey dovey display any longer. I will make myself scarce and head back to Jev’s. You guys have a good day together.” 

He stood up and was about to leave, when he turned back and said in more serious tone, “ I am really happy for you both. You look so perfect together. Fernando, please take good care of Mark. He may seem tough and full of Aussie grit, but he is a big softy inside.”

After Daniel left, they felt more relaxed. Fernando closed the small gap between them and pressed his lips on Mark’s, eager to show his tough Aussie guy how he could take good care of him. It was quite a while later that they managed to finish their breakfast.

After breakfast, they discussed what they should do, with the little time that they had together. The thought of spending a quiet day at home together just wrapped up in each other’s arms was very tempting but as it was Fernando's first time in Sydney, Mark wanted to show him some of the iconic sights of the city. They went out in Mark’s car and he drove him towards the famous Sydney harbour. Instead of going directly to the bridge and opera house, Mark stopped his car along a vantage point opposite the opera house. There were relatively few people there and offered a breathtaking view of the famous landmarks.

As they admired the magnificent view against the glistening waters along the coast, Mark folded Fernando into his arms as the Spaniard leaned back into his embrace. He started placing kisses in his soft curls and behind his ears, his breathe sometimes tickling him. Fernando couldn’t help but giggle at the sensation, yet, at the same time his heart felt so full of happiness that he was afraid he might burst. He still could not believe that he had finally come together with Mark. It had been such a long and arduous journey but it seemed that he had finally made it to the point where he could see happiness beckoning. He turned back to face Mark and stood on tip toe to brush his lips against his. Mark’s lips parted and the tip of his tongue was dancing teasingly against his own. The kiss deepened as they dipped into each other’s mouth, delighting in the taste and feel of the other. They continued thus for a long time, until they had to surface for air. Both were breathless and their faces flushed. Fernando was also feeling a little embarrassed from such a public display of affection, but luckily for them, there was no one else around the little corner where they stood.

They continued to linger there, enjoying the feeling of having the other close and the beautiful sights all around them. It suddenly occurred to Fernando that he should capture this special moment since it was their first outing together a couple. He swiped out his phone and positioned both of them with their backs to the scenery they were admiring earlier, capturing their beaming faces with the famous bridge and opera house in the background.

“Ah, so we are doing the tourist thing now?’ Mark teased him.

“Yeah, we can’t let such a good photo op go wasted!” Fernando replied playfully.

“True, the sights are too beautiful to go to waste,” Mark looked at him intently with adoration,“ you are so gorgeous, Fer, so much more so than all these magnificent sights.”

“You are exaggerating too much, Mark.” Fernando felt himself blushing.

“To me, you are and will always be,” the Australian told him sincerely.

Such a lovely declaration could only be met with more demonstrations of affection as they again engaged in another round of passionate kisses. More photos were then taken, with them making different poses, some funny, some serious but all with both holding the other close. Fernando then asked to take a photo of Mark on his own. Initially he refused, saying that he would rather have photos of both of them together. But Fernando pleaded with him and Mark finally relented on condition that he got a solo shot of him too. They took turns to capture each other on their phone camera. Fernando thought as he admired how handsome Mark looked in his shot, that this photo would be something that would helped him whenever he missed Mark once he returned to London.

They went to the nearby Royal Botanic Gardens next. Walking hand in hand with their fingers interlaced, they had a lovely time viewing the wide range of plants and flowers on display. They took a quick lunch in a café in the gardens and then decided to go to the harbour itself so that Fernando could have a closer look at the opera house and the bridge. It was teeming with tourists over there. Mark took the opportunity to put his arm around Fernando’s shoulders and held him close as they walked in the crowd. The opera house and the harbour bridge were certainly majestic structures and Fernando was awe struck viewing them up close. 

As they were walking back to the car, they went past some shops selling souvenirs. Mark noticed Fernando’s attention was caught by the display in one of the shops, featuring stuffed toy koalas and kangaroos dressed in cute little outfits.

“Shall we go in to have a look?” Mark asked Fernando, and the latter nodded.

Fernando looked with great interest at the koalas. Beside them, there were a range of outfits that could be bought to dress them up.

“Are you looking for something for the children back in the hospital?” Mark queried, not quite understanding why Fernando looked so fascinated by these toys.

“Well no, actually,” Fernando felt a little silly, but he really like the look of the koalas, they somehow reminded him of Mark, “I’m looking for one for myself.”

Mark raised his eyebrows in question. 

“You see, I think they look like you. So adorable and fluffy!” Fernando explained.

Mark burst out laughing, “Look like me? Where? How?” He took one and put it next to his face, then jokingly contorted his face into different funny expressions.

It was Fernando’s turn to laugh, “Like this, so cute and adorable, exactly like you! I will take this one,” he said as he took the one that Mark was holding next to his face. 

He was quite excited to find that there was something that looked like a doctor’s coat amongst the little outfits for the koalas and quickly picked it up. “See, I can dress this koala up in this and he will look exactly like you. It will be my own little Markola and will keep me company when I am alone back home.” Fernando felt a little self-conscious as he revealed the real reason why he was so keen on the koalas.

Mark’s laughing expression turned serious. He looked at Fernando tenderly and said softly, “ Fer, I will give anything to be by your side everyday.”

“Oh, I don’t mean it that way…” Fernando had not expected the turn in conversation. He did not want to spoil the mood by bringing up their impending separation.

“I know, we will talk about it when we get home,” Mark reassured him, “now, since this is going to be your Markola, let me get it for you.” He took the koala and the outfit to the cashier to made payment, before presenting it to Fernando who thanked him for the wonderful gift.

When they got back to Mark’s house, it was already late afternoon. The thought of the limited time they have left together loomed large in their thoughts, as they curled up on the couch, holding each other tightly. Fernando’s head rested on Mark’s shoulder and he hummed with contentment as the latter gently caressed his hair. They were silent for a long time, enjoying each other’s closeness, all the while hoping fervently that time would stand still.

Mark finally broke the silence to broach the subject on both of their minds, “Fer, I hope you know, now that I finally have you with me, I will never let you go. I understand that you have to go back for now, but know that I will do everything in my power to be with you again soon. I may need a couple of months to wrap up my work here, but I promise I will come over to you as soon as I can.” 

“Wait, what do you mean by wrap up your work here?” Fernando was touched by his promise to come to him, but he did not want to interrupt Mark’s work.

“I will resign my position here in Sydney and go back to the UK to be with you.” Mark stated resolutely, as he planted a kiss on the top of Fernando’s head.

Fernando shook his head as he looked up at Mark, “But you cannot do that! You have such a promising career as department head here in the hospital. You cannot give it up just like that!”

"It means nothing if I cannot be with you, Fer, surely you must realise that by now! The reason why I came here was because I thought I did not have a chance with you at that time, and I thought the distance will help me get over you. It didn’t work of course, because I missed you even more and thought of you everyday. Now that you are finally with me, you cannot expect me to stay on here while you are thousands of miles away?” Mark said with feeling as he embraced Fernando tightly.

The Spaniard was moved by this proclamation of deep regard. He had suspected the real reason of Mark’s sudden move back to Australia to be related to him, but he was not so vain as to assume it to be so. The confirmation of it quite overwhelmed him, as he realised just how much he meant to Mark and how hurt he must have felt by his rejection. He said, more to himself then to Mark, “Oh, I thought it was because you wanted to be closer to family and it was an offer that you cannot refuse.”

“Well, these are certainly the pluses. I have to say something positive. I can’t tell the whole world I left because you didn’t want me!”

“I am so sorry, I didn’t…” Fernando started to apologise but was stopped by Mark sealing his lips with his own for a kiss.

“No, no apologies. I didn’t say this to make you feel bad. It is all in the past anyway. I wanted to let you know that I will not hesitate to quit my job here so that I can be with you. I just need a bit of time to wrap things up here, then I can come over.” Mark said reassuringly.

But Fernando knew that he could not let Mark give up such a promising position and uproot himself once again for him. He had thought about it, not in any detail since it was only yesterday that they finally got together, but he was fully prepared to be the one to move for Mark, provided he wanted it.

“Mark, I am really touched by the extent that you would go for me, but…” here he could sense Mark tensed up as he mistook the “but” to be another rejection coming, so he quickly continued, “ No, wait, don’t misunderstand, I’m not saying we will not be together. I want to tell you that I wish more than anything for us to be together always, but I think I should be the one moving for you this time. I will be more than happy to move here to be with you, if you will have me?”

The effect of his words on Mark were quite wonderful to see, as his handsome face was infused with such heartfelt delight, and he beamed a brilliant smile.

“Do you really mean it, Fernando? You are willing to move here to be with me?”

"Yes, of course! If you want me, that is."

“Of course I want you! I want you so much…I…” Mark paused, seemingly unsure of whether to continue, but he looked to make up his mind and said, “ I love you, Fernando. I know it has been barely a day since we are together, but I have loved you for so long.” 

Fernando did not expect to hear this declaration, but he was so moved by how sincere and heartfelt his words were. He knew that he shared the same feelings and wanted to let him know as well.

“Yo tambien te amo cariño mio!” 

Mark was not really proficient in Spanish, but he knew some words and could guess the meaning of what Fernando just said. Still he needed to make sure.

“Please, can you say that again?” he pleaded.

“Yo tambien te amo cariño mio. I love you too, my darling!” The words rolled off with feeling in Fernando’s beautiful Spanish accent. Mark looked momentarily stunned but he recovered quickly to do the only logical thing to do after such a romantic declaration. He captured his lips in a passionate kiss. He started softly, then increased the pressure on his lips, his tongue teasing his lips apart to explore the depths of his mouth. He cradled Fernando’s head with his one hand supporting his neck, the other on his cheek and proceeded to gently suck on his tongue. This caused such a unique sensation in Fernando that he gasped, breaking the contact. Mark gazed at him intently, his eyes darkened with desire, and took his hand to lead him to the bedroom.

Once inside, they helped each other out of their clothes quickly. Mark sat Fernando down on the bed as he started kissing him again. They fell backwards on the bed with Mark straddling him over his hips. Fernando’s eyes were closed as he reveled in the sensations aroused by his passionate kisses. He felt Mark’s lips slowly moved up and placed kisses all over his eyes and nose, then he moved behind his ear and started kissing him there. This was a particular weak spot for Fernando and he started to squirm, his arms moving across Mark’s back and his legs thrashing about. Mark took his wrists and held them down, resting his arms on the side of his body, and placed his own legs over Fernando’s, effectively trapping him in his hold. Fernando opened his eyes in surprise and looked at Mark.

“Trust me? Mark asked gently.

He could only nod to indicate his agreement. He trusted Mark completely and did not hesitate to hand himself over to him totally.

Mark resumed his kisses, this time on his neck and then he started sucking near his collarbone, leaving a love bite when he was done. Fernando was enjoying his lingering kisses but at the same time, it was somewhat agonising as he felt himself wanting more. Mark apparently could sense this as he upped the intensity of his ministrations, moving on to capture his nipple with his mouth, licking and rolling his tongue around it, then gently grazing his teeth across before sucking it hard. An exquisite sensation shot through Fernando, as he moaned in pleasure. His body started to writhe under Mark’s but his movements were limited as Mark retained his hold on his wrists and ankles, restraining him and pinning him down on the bed with his strong body. The exquisite torture was continued for some time as Mark turned his attention to his other nipple, making Fernando moan helplessly as the sensations coursed all over him. 

Finally the attention switched as Mark turned his mouth to trail a line of kisses down to his stomach. Fernando felt himself relax with the gentle touches, but not for long. He gasped loudly when Mark moved down to envelop his member with his mouth, the tip of his tongue teasing the head and then lapping his tongue across his full length, sucking on it hungrily. By now Fernando was painfully hard, the intensity of it almost tipping him over. Mark seemed to sense this as he stopped. Looking up at Fernando lovingly, he released the hold on his wrists as he rubbed the sides of his arms tenderly to calm him down. 

When the Spaniard had calmed sufficiently, Mark fingers moved downwards and started rubbing on his hips. The Australian looked contemplative, chewing on his lips, like he was not quite sure of his next step. Fernando suspected he knew what Mark desired and guessed that he was hesitant because he was not sure if he was ready for this next step in their love making. So he said softly, “Mark, I am ready, I want you inside me.” 

Mark looked very happy to receive this affirmation. After making the necessary preparations, his fingers gently circled his opening. He slowly inserted one, then two fingers. Fernando again started writhing as he was stretched, knowing what Mark was preparing him for. Mark carefully turned him over to lie on his stomach, and positioned his head on one side to make sure he could breathe freely. He then positioned himself over Fernando’s thighs, careful to support his own weight on his legs so as not to hurt him. He slowly entered him, stretching and filling him completely. The sensation of having Mark inside him was overwhelming. As Mark started to push, the feelings got even more intense as he moved in unison with him. The movements became quicker and harder, Fernando could feel his own member throbbing and in desperate need of friction. He did not have to wait for long as Mark’s hand held him and stared pumping to the same rhythm as his movement inside Fernando. The Spaniard could feel a wonderful sensation as if he was floating on the clouds as Mark pushed them both to the ultimate height of ecstasy, both moaning loudly as the release came at the same time. Mark was panting as he dropped limply beside Fernando. He summoned enough strength to gather Fernando in his arms and both of them drifted off into a blissful slumber.

Fernando awaken to the ringing of an alarm. He found himself lying cosily in an entanglement of arms and legs. He smiled in contentment as he recalled the love-making that he just shared with Mark. Looking towards the clock on the bedside table, he saw that it was already half past seven in the evening. Thankfully, Mark had the foresight to set the alarm on his phone. He managed to detangle himself sufficiently to move over Mark to turn the alarm off. He then lay back down and snuggled close to Mark again. The Australian was still sleeping and Fernando took a few minutes to admire his beautiful face in peaceful slumber, storing it in his memory as he knew he would miss this sight for at least a while. He would love to remain thus for longer but unfortunately, he was painfully aware that time was running short. He rubbed gently on Mark’s arms to wake him.

“Hey, it’s time to wake up, cariño,” he said softly as he peppered kisses tenderly over Mark’s face. 

The Australian started to stir, opening his eyes and groggily said, “Hmmm, we fell asleep? What time is it?”

“It’s seven thirty. Time to wake up.” 

The mention of the time seemed to wake Mark up as he became more alert. “Oh, it’s getting late.” 

Fernando nodded and tried to sit up but he was pulled back by Mark. “But wait, Fer. Please. Just a few more minutes” He held Fernando tightly and breathed in his scent. They would have loved nothing more than to stay in each other’s embrace but alas time was running short. Mark got out of bed first and went to the bathroom to run a bath for Fernando. When he returned, he called a nearby restaurant to order delivery for their dinner. Fernando asked Mark to join him in the bath. As they luxuriated in the relaxing warm water, they again held each other close. They had just about enough time to finish off cleaning themselves before the food delivery arrived.

As they dried off and got dressed, Fernando put on his own jeans but again borrowed one of Mark’s hoodies. He wanted to stay in the comfort of Mark’s scent as long as possible.

“You can have this if you like,” Mark offered.

“I can? I was going to change out of it before I go and return to you. But now that you offered, I think I will wear it on the plane,” Fernando replied happily.

“Sure, you look great in this. I am glad to let you have it. But now that you have something of me, I wish I can have something of you for a keepsake too,” 

Mark was half joking when he said this, but Fernando took it seriously. He thought for a few moments and then removed the leather bracelet on his wrist.

“This is a gift from the wonderful team that I worked with during my volunteer stint with UNICEF. They were such sweet and kind people, and gave me this parting gift. I like it very much and have been wearing since the trip. It reminds me of their kind and resilient spirit. I’ll like you to have it.”

Mark declined saying he was just joking about wanting something in return for his hoodie and he cannot take something that held such meaning from Fernando. But the latter insisted, saying it would be even more meaningful if Mark were to wear it for him. He helped him put it on, and kissed his wrist tenderly. 

After a late dinner, there was just over an hour till Fernando had to leave for the airport. He could feel his heart sinking as the minutes went by as it meant that he had to leave Mark soon. He had a few things that he had yet to pack and he rounded up them up to put into his luggage. As he tried to lock the bag, he found that it was jammed and refused to budge despite trying several times. Frustrated, he started to curse under his breath in Spanish. Mark was standing nearby, watching him move around the house gathering his things and packing them. Upon seeing the usually calm and collected Fernando so flustered over a small thing, he went over to him and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Here, let me help,” Mark said as he took the offending article from Fernando. He managed to release the catch and lock it with ease, “There, all done.”

“Stupid thing was stuck just now no matter how I tried!” Fernando said irritatedly.

“Yeah, it happens sometimes, especially when you feeling frustrated. It’s not like you to fuss over such a small thing though. Think we need to relax a bit, my darling, we still have a bit of time.” Mark had realised that Fernando’s poor mood was due to his impending departure and sought to calm him down. He held his hand and led him to the couch. Sitting down, he made Fernando lie down with his head on his lap and started stroking his hair gently.

“Is this better?” Mark asked, looking at him with a gentle smile.

“Yes, much better. If you continue like that, I will fall asleep, ” Fernando sounded calmer now.

“Sure, you can take a nap. I will wake you up when it’s time to go.”

“No, I want to look at you and talk to you. There is too little time left. I really hate to have to leave you, Mark, so soon after we finally got together.”

“I know, I wish you can stay too, but I understand why you cannot. Just remember that we will see each other again very soon.”

“But how soon? I will not be able to come back here so soon. I cannot just leave the hospital immediately after I resign, I’ll need to wrap up my work and hand over the remaining cases to other doctors. It will be at least a few months before I can come back here to see you,” Fernando sounded really sad.

“Oh, Fer, don’t sound so sad. We will keep in touch with FaceTime and Skype. Besides, maybe I can arrange for a trip to see you in the not too distant future.”

“You’ll come all the way to see me?” 

“Try stopping me! Yes of course I’ll come, as soon as I can” Mark reassured him.

Fernando was excited at the prospect of seeing Mark again sooner than expected and his mood lifted considerably. They spent the remaining time talking about their plans for the next few months, both hopeful that they would be seeing each other again within that time frame.

When the hour finally came for them to leave for the airport, they gathered Fernando’s luggage and went out the door. As Mark closed the door to his apartment, Fernando looked on with a heavy heart, seized by a sense of longing as he thought of the past thirty hours or so that he spent in there with Mark. How he wished that he was curled up next to him in bed, rather then leaving to board an airplane so that they would be thousands of miles apart! This was definitely not something he wanted to do, but he had no choice. He braced himself and tried to keep a cheerful conversation going with Mark during the drive to the airport.

Upon arrival at the airport, Fernando was able to check in quite quickly as the airport was less busy at that hour. He did not want to go into the departure hall too soon as he wanted to be with Mark till the last possible minute. They walked hand in hand to a cafeteria in the airport and sat down for drinks. Mark ordered some chamomile tea for Fernando to help him sleep on the plane and coffee for himself, as he jokingly said he needed to keep awake on his drive home. As the minutes ticked by and the time for his flight drew nearer, Fernando felt more and more depressed. Mark had gone quiet too as he held Fernando’s hand and rubbed circles on it with his thumb. They saw on the flight information display screen that the gate for his flight had already been opened and soon it would be boarding time. With a heavy heart, they walked towards the departure hall entrance. It was time to say goodbye.

“I’ll see you real soon, my darling. Have a good flight. Try to catch some sleep on the plane,” Mark said as he kissed Fernando lightly on the forehead.

“I will try. It’s eleven hours for the first leg to transit, and then another twelve hours to London. I’ll have plenty of time to sleep, and to think of you.” Fernando tried to smile, but found it very difficult as he felt his eyes welling up and his voice faltered. He tried to control his emotions but it was so hard.

Mark wrapped him in his arms and whispered soothing words in his ear, "Don't be sad, Fer. We will be together again very soon, I promise.” 

Fernando could hear that Mark’s voice was almost breaking too, despite his positive words. He looked up and saw Mark smiling at him, a smile that did not reach his eyes. He stood on tip toe and brushed his lips on Mark’s, who quickly deepened the kiss as he cradled Fernando’s face with his hands. They remained thus for a long time, until the need for air forced their lips apart. They stood together, still holding tightly to each other, both reluctant to let go.

An announcement came on that Fernando’s flight was ready for boarding. It really was time to go. Mark reluctantly released his hold and after pressing one more kiss to his cheek, bid him farewell. Fernando turned and walked towards the entrance of the departure hall, passport in hand. He was determined not to turn back, but just before stepping through the entrance, he could not help but turned to look at Mark one more time. Mark was still standing there, watching him, looking so forlorn. Without thinking, Fernando ran back into his open arms. They kissed each other passionately, savouring this last intimate moment before Fernando really had to go. The airport was relatively quiet at that hour, but the few passengers who saw them were touched by this moving scene of a handsome couple who obviously could not bear to be apart.

At last, they had to let go. By then, Fernando could not help the tears. Mark wiped the tears off with his thumb but Fernando saw that the Australian’s eyes were red and shiny too.

“I will miss you so much. I really hate to go,” Fernando said wistfully.

“I’ll miss you too, every single day. But just think of how happy we will be when we see each other again,” Mark consoled him.

Fernando nodded and attempted a smile at him. 

Another announcement sounded, this time paging for Dr Fernando Alonso to proceed to the gate for immediate boarding.

“Go on, you need to hurry. Everyone will be waiting for your grand entrance!” Mark laughed lightly.

This teasing got Fernando to finally break into a small smile. With a final brief hug, he turned and walked quickly through to the departure hall. He only turned back after he was inside, gave a quick wave to Mark and rounded the corner to proceed on to the gate. He managed to clear immigration and security quickly, and was just in time to be the last person to board the plane. As he settled down in his seat, he took out his phone to type a message to Mark. A message was already waiting for him.

“Love you lots. Take care of yourself and I’ll see you again real soon.”

He quickly typed in a reply, “Love you too, carino! Miss you already. Can’t wait to see you again.” 

He switched his phone to airplane mode and tried to settled down for the long flight. Soon the plane took off. Fernando’s thoughts were filled with Mark, their time together had been short, but every moment was precious and unforgettable. He could not wait for them to be together again.


	11. Beyond The Distance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am back after a slightly longer interval. Only two more chapters to go. 
> 
> I realized I forgot to acknowledge something. The "Markoala" name was borrowed from one of sweetpeapoppy, jb22fa14, fernandowebbermarkalonso. Sorry, I don't really know who amongst you created it, but I used it in the previous chapter and in this too. Hope you don't mind.

After a long flight, Fernando finally touched down at Heathrow. The first thing he did when the plane landed was to turn off the airplane mode on his phone and check his messages. He had spoken to Mark during his transit but it seemed such a long time ago. Mark left him a few messages telling him what he was doing and how much he was missing him already. 

Fernando wanted to call him once he stepped off the plane, but he reminded himself that there was an eleven hours time difference with Sydney which meant it was early morning there, since it was just passed six in the evening in London. Instead, he typed in a short message to let Mark know that he had arrived safely and would call him later in the day.

His phone rang just a few moments after he sent the message. It was Mark.

“Hey Fer! Glad to hear you have arrived.” He sounded a bit sleepy.

“Hola Mark. Sorry, did I wake you with the message?” 

“No, I was up already. Couldn’t sleep.”

“Oh, why so?”

“Thinking of you, place feels bit empty without you around,” Mark said with longing.

“I miss you very much too. We are so far apart now,” Fernando sighed, thinking about the distance between them.

“Yeah, but we will see each other very soon,” he reassured him.

They spoke a bit more about his flight and what Mark had been doing before disconnecting as Fernando had to go through immigration. They arranged to talk again later when Mark had time during his lunch break. When they next spoke, it was past mid-night for Fernando, while the Australian was having his lunch in his office. Mark knew that he had to go to work the next day so he tried to keep the conversation short, but there just seemed to be an unending stream of things that they wanted to tell each other. They ended up talking until Fernando had fallen asleep. 

Fernando woke up bright and early the next day. Despite the long travel, he looked refreshed and was teeming with energy when he got back to the hospital. The nurses noticed how happy he looked when he gave them some chocolates from Sydney and were all wondering what put Dr Alonso in such an exceptionally cheerful mood after a long trip. Later in the day, Jenson caught up with him.

“Hey, Fernando! Welcome back. I see you are in a good mood. I’ve heard some of the nurses saying how happy you looked today. So did you accomplish your mission?” Jenson asked enthusiastically. 

“Thanks Jenson. Yes, I did, the presentation went well and I attended many interesting talks and discussions.” He chose to interpret Jenson’s question the official way.

The Brit huffed dramatically, “Come on! You know I was asking about something else. Did you manage to meet up with Mark?”

“Oh, that. Well…” Fernando pretended to pause and look solemn.

Jenson looked at him with anticipation, “Well?”

Fernando could no longer hold back. He broke into a brilliant smile and nodded.

“I knew it! When I heard that you turned up at work today grinning from ear to ear I knew there must be some good news. So have you two finally come to your senses and gotten together?” Jenson asked him directly.

“Yes,” Fernando answered simply, feeling a little bashful to be admitting to someone else their relationship, but at the same time he felt so very happy to be able to do so.

“Congratulations! It really is about time. In fact it is way past time that you two get together. Sometimes I felt like knocking your heads together!” Jenson laughed, then turned more serious as he continued, “I am so glad for both of you. You both deserved to be happy together.”

Fernando was touched by the sincerity of Jenson’s wishes and thanked him for it.

“Now you look like you have hit the jackpot! I don’t think I have ever seen you smile so widely before. You look like you are about to burst with joy!” Jenson commented.

"I guess I have really hit the jackpot. After all that happened, I am really lucky that Mark still wants to be with me.”

“Of course he does! I don’t mean to pry, but have you guys decided whether you will be doing the long distance relationship thing, or is one of you moving? Is Mark coming back here?”

“We spoke briefly about it. Mark said he will be willing to come back here, but I told him that I should be the one to move to Australia. He is doing so well there, I don’t want him to uproot again so soon.”

“Oh, so you may be leaving us soon?”

“Yeah, I’m afraid so. I’ll be very sad to leave but I really don’t want to live so far away from him.” Fernando admitted shyly.

"I hate to see you leave, but I think it is the right choice.” Jenson pulled him into a hug, “Oh, I am really so happy for both of you!” 

That night when Fernando talked to Mark via FaceTime, he told him about Jenson’s reaction and well wishes. Mark was also very touched and revealed to him that he had confided in Jenson when he went to ask about what happened with Kimi. Jenson had been very supportive and had tried to get them together. Fernando remembered the various instances whereby Jenson had innocently left them alone or tried to get them to meet before Mark was leaving.

He then mentioned that he told Jenson about moving to Australia to be with Mark.

“You know, Fer, I have been thinking. I will more then welcome you to come to Sydney, but I do understand how much you love your work at the hospital. Are you sure you can give that up?”

“You’re right, I do love my work and it will be sad to leave all my colleagues here. But I really want to do it. I don’t think I can stand being so far apart from you, carino.”

“I know, and I can’t imagine living so far away from you for long, either. But please know that I will be happy to move back to London to be with you.”

“Thanks, but I don’t think you should move again so soon. You are doing so well there now, It really isn’t the time for you to uproot again. Let me move to be with you, please?” 

“Of course, my darling. I am more than happy to have you here with me. I am only worried that you will be giving up something that you love so much.”

“But I will be with someone whom I love much more, so I think it is a net gain.” Fernando said it so sweetly and sincerely.

Mark could only stare at the screen longingly, expressing his fervent wish of wanting to be at Fernando’s side right at that instant. It was a wish that was shared mutually by both of them but they had to be patient for it to come true.

In the mean time, they had to settle with seeing each other through their phone screens. They continued in this way, talking to each other every day whenever they could find a common time. It was not easy given the time difference and heavy work schedule for both but they managed to seize every opportunity they had. They usually connected via FaceTime so that they could see each other. When they really could not find time to talk, they would fall back on text.

Fernando had chosen some of the photos that they took together in Sydney and had them printed out and framed up, placing them on his nightstand just like Mark had done for the Christmas photo. There was also the one with only Mark that he took that was his favourite. The photos together with the Markoala that Mark bought for him all occupied pride of place in his room and kept him company whenever he missed the Australian, which was pretty much all the time. Sometimes he would hug the Markoala when talking to Mark which prompted him to playfully express his jealousy at his alter-ego.  


During the first weekend after Fernando returned to London, he stayed at home, not in the mood to go anywhere. Soon after he woke up, he called Mark via FaceTime. When the call connected, instead of his beloved’s face appearing on the screen, a little lion with a silky mane showed up.

“Carino, what is this?” Fernando was very amused.

“Hello, Fer. Say hi to my own little Spanish lion!” Mark said gleefully as he showed the lion dressed in a T-shirt in the colours of the Spanish flag.

Fernando couldn't stop laughing.

“Hey, what is so funny? You have your Markoala to keep you company. I now have my own little Spanish lion to keep me company.” Mark said seriously.

"Oh, Mark. I think Markoala and the little Spanish lion would love to be together very soon.” Fernando hugged his Markoala tightly, feeling a pang in his heart as the familiar feeling of missing Mark came all over him.

“I think so too, my darling. And I’m sure they will,” Mark said lovingly as he pressed a kiss into the lion’s mane.

They continued talking for a long time on an unending number of topics, both missing each other but having to be satisfied with seeing each other on their phone screens for the time being. This made Fernando even more determined to settle his business in London so that he could move to be with Mark. 

At the start of the new work week, he went to see Dr Boullier at his office to tender his resignation.

“Good morning, Dr Boullier,” Fernando greeted his boss as he entered his office. He had not seen him since he came back, as Dr Boullier had been away for a few days.

“Good morning, Fernando. Good to see you. I have not been able to catch up with you since your trip. I hope you enjoyed it. I heard many positive comments on your presentation at the symposium. Well done!” Dr Boullier smiled at him.

“Thank you! I am very grateful to have the chance to attend the symposium. The presentation was really a good experience and there were many interesting talks and panel discussions. I learned a lot and enjoyed it very much. Thank you for giving me the chance to attend it.” Fernando said sincerely.

“I am very glad to hear it. Now, is there something that you wish to discuss with me today?”

“Yes, there is,” Fernando took out the letter that he had prepared and handed it to his boss. “Dr Boullier, I am really appreciative of all the support and guidance that you have given me through the years, and the many opportunities for learning and development that I have enjoyed since I started working here. I love what I do and it has been a privilege to work here with you and all my colleagues. But I am afraid I have to tender my resignation.” 

“Oh, I am sorry to hear that,” Dr Boullier looked at the letter in his hand but did not open it, “ May I ask if you are leaving us to join another hospital, or perhaps go into private practice?”

“No, I am not,” Fernando had decided to be honest even before he came in, so he continued, “In fact I do not have another job lined up. I am resigning because I will be moving away, to Australia.”

“Australia? That is very far away from here. Are you planning to migrate there?” 

“Well, I guess you can put it that way. To be honest with you, I am moving there so that I can be with someone. You see, thanks to this trip to Sydney that you sent me, I am reunited with someone very important to me. We have decided to stay together so I am moving there to be with him. I hope you understand.” Fernando felt a little uneasy revealing his personal life to his boss, but he wanted to be open with him.

Dr Boullier broke into a wide smile, which surprised Fernando. But what he said following that was even more shocking.

“Of course I understand. I had expected it the day I gave you that invitation letter to the symposium. It’s about time you two get together!” 

“Sorry sir, I don’t understand. You expected me to resign?” Fernando was stunned.

“Well, in way yes, your resignation was considered as a possible consequence, although I had hoped for it to be the other way round, with Mark coming back here with you. But still, I think we should all be happy for both of you.”

Fernando was even more confused now, “Oh, I didn’t realise you know about Mark and I. Do you mean you sent me to the symposium because of that?”

"How do I know about the two of you?” Dr Boullier chuckled as he pointed to his eyes and ears, “I may be your boss at work, but you know, we are all human beings, we see and hear things. As your boss, I am of course most concerned about your work, but I am also concerned for your well being, as I am for the rest of my staff. We have all been very concerned about you, Fernando. You are a most brilliant doctor and so committed to your work here, and I know that you have never let your personal life affect your work. But I and those close to you could tell that things are not the same with you ever since what happened with Kimi. And then with Mark. Of course we do not know any details of what happened, you don’t have to worry about that. But we can tell that you are so down after Mark left. That was why I agreed to let you go on long leave to do the volunteer work because I understand that you needed to get away for a while. When you came back, your work was a hundred percent, but you were still so down in spirit. So when the opportunity came, I had to give you a little push in the right direction. I mean, it was just a by the way thing, since you are definitely the best candidate to go to that symposium.” Dr Boullier smiled kindly at him.

Fernando was gobsmacked at this revelation. He was stunned that his boss was aware of what happened with Kimi and Mark. Thankfully, as he said, he didn’t know the details. Still it was quite astounding that he knew at all. At the same time, Fernando was touched by the concern Dr Boullier had for him and grateful for the extent that he went to helping him.

“I don’t know what to say, Dr Boullier. I never expected you to know! I…” Fernando was at a loss of words.

“As I said, I only know the essentials but not the details, so you don’t have to worry!”

Fernando nodded and said sincerely “ I guess I can only say thank you for all that you have done. I really appreciate it!”

“I will be very sorry to see you leave us, but I am really glad for you. I wish you both a very happy life together,” Dr Boullier offered his heartfelt well-wishes.

They spent some time discussing the amount of work that Fernando had on hand and worked out a plan for the handover. The Spaniard had a three months notice period, but he was willing to stay on longer should the hospital require more time to get a replacement. While he wanted nothing more than to be able to leave for Australia as soon as he could, he also knew that he could not leave immediately and wanted to ensure that his colleagues did not have to be unduly affected. It was the least he could do for them, especially now that he had discovered how much Dr Bouliier had helped him.

When they were done with the discussion, Fernando stood to leave. Dr Boullier walked him to the door. He was about to extend his hand for a handshake, when his boss pulled him into a hug.

“I think the occasion calls for something more then a formal handshake, don’t you think? Well, say hi to Mark for me. And tell him that he has to make sure that he takes good care of you!” Dr Boullier laughed as he clapped him on the shoulder.

“Thank you so much, Dr Boullier. I really can’t express enough my thanks for what you have done for me.”

“Well not just me, remember there are others here who are also concerned about you.” Dr Boullier said with a twinkle in his eye just before Fernando turned to leave.

Mark was amazed by what transpired when Fernando told him later in the day. Like him, Mark was very thankful for the help from Dr Boullier. Even though they both would eventually have found an opportunity to sought the other out, the help from Dr Boullier sent Fernando on the right way towards him in a much more timely fashion, and allowed them to come together much earlier than otherwise. For that, both felt that they had much to be grateful for.

It was still a little puzzling to Fernando how Dr Boullier had found out about him and Mark. He could envision his boss sensing something was amiss with him, but how did he deduce it was to do with Mark? The answer came not too long later. He was at lunch together with Jenson at the staff cafeteria when Dr Boullier came to join them. Jenson and Dr Boullier were tennis partners and they were talking about some of the games that they played when his boss let slipped about Jenson telling him about Fernando and Mark. He had asked the Brit about Fernando out of concern for his well being, and on hearing Jenson’s take on what happened, they discussed how they could help, giving rise to the symposium plan. Jenson looked rather sheepish when his involvement was revealed, but Fernando felt so touched and thankful for his help. He knew Jenson had helped to try to get them together on many occasions but never in an obtrusive way. This instance was perhaps a bit more forward but he knew that both Mark and he would always be grateful to Jenson for being such a wonderful friend to them, and he told him so.

Christmas and the New Year came and went quickly. Fernando took a few days off to return home to be with his family. He could only spend a few days there as he needed to reserve some leave days for when Mark came to visit. It was a great time spent celebrating with family. He also took the opportunity to share his good news with them and told them about moving to Australia. They were a little surprised but happy for him to find someone again, but at the same time concerned about him giving up his career in London and moving so far away. His mother, especially, was rather worried. He tried his best to reassure them that this was what he really wanted and that he would keep in close touch with them.

The long awaited visit from Mark came in February. He was able to take a week’s leave from work and was due to arrive on Saturday evening at London, having taken a early morning flight from Sydney. Fernando was beyond excited at finally getting to see Mark in person again. He spent the day cleaning up his apartment and prepared dinner before heading to the airport. He was early and spent more than an hour waiting, but he did not mind at all, only a bit anxious as he kept checking the display for the flight status. After the plane landed, he waited another forty five minutes before he finally saw the familiar figure of the Australian walking quickly out of the arrival hall. Fernando waved enthusiastically at him and once Mark stepped out of the arrival hall, they rushed towards each other and immediately enveloped each other in a tight hug, their lips clashing together in a deep passionate kiss. They continued thus for a long time, completely oblivious of their surroundings. When they finally pulled apart and caught their breathe, Fernando felt a little surprised at how comfortable he felt with kissing Mark amongst the crowd in the airport. He was overjoyed at seeing him and did not care how people might think. 

Both of them started talking at the same time.

“I am so happy to see you, my darling.”

“I’ve missed you so much, carino.”

They laughed lightly at their eagerness to talk to each other. 

“Let’s go to the car.” Fernando said. He smiled broadly as Mark held his hand tightly and they walked towards the exit to the carpark.

On the way back home, Fernando asked Mark to take a rest since he must be tired from the long flight.

“I’m pretty ok, managed to sleep a few hours on the second leg of the flight. Besides, I want to see you. It seemed so long ago when we were together in Sydney. Remember at the airport, when we talked about how happy we will be when we see each other again? I can’t even describe how I feel now. I am just so so happy to see you, Fer.” Mark put his hand on Fernando’s thigh as he turned to look at him.

Fernando’s heart skipped a beat as he felt his touch and heard his sweet words. He kept his eyes on the road but freed one hand from the steering to cover his hand, and said, “Yes, I remember how sad I felt when I had to leave you. I’ve been counting the days since then. Am so glad you are finally here.”

Thankfully the traffic was smooth and it did not take long for them to reach Fernando’s apartment. They unloaded Mark’s luggage and went up to the apartment. Once inside, they drop the things and quickly wrapped their arms tightly around the other, savouring the closeness which they had both yearned for so much. Their lips brushed against each other and the contact deepened as they indulged in another passionate kiss, which left Fernando feeling slightly giddy and light-headed. Likewise, Mark was panting slightly and looked at him with dark eyes filled with desire. 

Without another word, Fernando pulled Mark into the bedroom. They undressed each other quickly, and fell onto the bed with their lips and bodies locked together. Their separation had fuelled their desire for each other and both were eager to please the other. With their lips sealed and tongues tangled together, their hands were busy with exploring each other’s bodies, touching, rubbing and even lightly scratching the other. Before long, both could feel the pressure building at their groins. Fernando moved his lips downwards and started placing kisses on Mark’s neck towards his collarbone, leaving a little red spot as he sucked at the hollow. He moved further downwards, leaving a trail of loving kisses on his body, finally reaching his swollen appendage. He took him in his mouth, teasing the sensitive tip with his tongue. Mark gasped sharply at this, his hips pushing wildly at Fernando, who started rolling his tongue around the head and slowly sucking it. By then Mark was moaning beautifully, his body writhing and in complete surrender. Fernando took the chance and stopped with his ministrations, running his fingers gently on his hips instead. The Australian huffed at the cease in pleasure, but Fernando quickly reassured him and said gently, “Let me love you.”

Mark agreed as he calmed a little. But it didn’t last long, he tensed as Fernando circled his hole and inserted his finger, one at a time. When he was ready, Fernando positioned himself and gently went in, filling him completely. He continued pushing forward slowly and sensuously, building up the rhythm as he moved steadily. Mark moaned loudly as he pushed, rendered completely helpless as he was overwhelmed by the sensation sweeping all over him. Fernando knew that both of them were close; he leaned forward and took Mark in his hand, pumping along his shaft as he continued to push inside him, driving both of them to the climax. Both held on to the wonderful sensation as long as they could before Fernando collapsed onto Mark. He managed to roll off once he caught his breath and they held each other tightly as they slowly recovered from the intensity of their love making.

Mark’s eyes were closed as he had seemingly fallen asleep. Fernando thought that he was probably exhausted from the long flight and their coupling. He let him sleep, contented to be looking at him, admiring his beautiful face which he had missed so much. After a long time, Fernando slowly moved to unentangle himself from him and got off the bed. He went to the bathroom and started to shower. As he was soaping himself, he sensed the shower cubicle door opened. A pair of arms caught him from behind. Even though he knew it was Mark, he jumped a little from the unexpected movement.

“I thought you were sleeping?” He turned to look at him, as he leaned back into his hold.

“Can’t sleep without you. Why did you escape, you naughty little lion?” Mark said playfully as he helped to lather soap on his back.

“I wanted to leave you to sleep, since you must be tired from the travel and what we did.”

“Nah, I’m not tired. Want you by my side.”

Mark continued to rub his back and started to kiss his neck. This had him giggling, as he found it ticklish, and tried to wriggle out of his touch. Mark in turn wrapped him up tightly in his arms to prevent his escape, as he struggled in vain. They ended up holding on to each other and sharing another long lingering kiss with water cascading down on their bodies. Safe to say the shower took rather longer then expected to complete, as both enjoyed the wonderful experience of trying to get the other cleaned while touching and caressing at the same time.

After they finally emerged from the shower and got dressed, Fernando warmed up the dinner that he had earlier prepared and served it. Both enjoyed the dinner as they shared a pleasant conversation on what happened while they were apart. After dinner, they settled on the couch for a while, sitting close to each other, as they tuned in to programs on the TV. Before long, they retired for the night, happily falling asleep in each other’s arms.

They spent the next few days together blissfully. Fernando had taken leave for the week so that he could spend all his time with Mark. They went out to many places and reveled in the feeling of being a couple, holding hands everywhere they went and enjoying each other’s company tremendously. When they were at home, they cooked together and then spent the evening curled up next to the other, either catching something on TV or reading their books.

Fernando certainly found it wonderful that he no longer needed to deny or hide his feelings for Mark. He was ecstatic to be able to express his love openly and did it often. While Mark was just as unreservedly affectionate and loving towards him. They were both deliriously happy to be together. 

Besides spending time with each other, they also met up with Jenson a couple of times. Once just the three of them to catch up, and once together with Dr Boullier as they bought them dinner to thank them for their help. Mark also dropped by the hospital to say hi to his ex-colleagues, when Fernando went back to settle some urgent matters.

During the week, they took the time to plan their future together. Fernando would be working at the hospital for another three months before he could leave for Australia. Mark told him that Daniel would be moving out of his place before his arrival.

“Oh, I’m sorry that he had to find another place to stay because of me.” Fernando felt rather apologetic towards the young Aussie.

“Don’t worry about it, Fer. It was not only because of you. Daniel had been wanting to move to be together with his partner Jean Eric. They were trying to look for the right place, and they have just found one.” 

“I see. Glad to hear that. So if I were to move to your place, how much rent will you charge? I need to know if I can afford it, since I will be jobless when I get there,” Fernando said half seriously.

“Hmmm, good question. Let’s see, I think you will just need to cook and clean for me, and do whatever I asked. That will do. And it will be full board with food provided too. It’s a great deal!” Mark smiled cheekily.

“Woah, that sounds like a whole load of things I have to do. And here I am thinking I could just depend on you taking care of me. Maybe I should reconsider the move to Australia.” Fernando pretended to pout as he said this.

“Don’t you dare!” Mark warned playfully as he cupped his cheeks in his hands and kissed his nose, making Fernando laugh.

“But seriously speaking, Fer, of course I will take care of you. You are giving up so much to move so far away to be with me. It will be my privilege to take care of you. In fact I have every intention of pampering you and spoiling you rotten,” Mark said lovingly as he enveloped Fernando in his embrace, and before the Spaniard could make any response, his lips were captured in a sweet tender kiss.

They only managed to return to the discussion after a long while, after both had sufficiently demonstrated their affections for the other. Fernando told Mark that he had heard from Andrea, who was planning to venture out of the hospital and start his own kids clinic early in the year. Since Andrea heard about his friend’s planned move to Sydney, he had asked him to join his clinic after its operations become more established. Fernando thought that this could be something worth exploring as it would give him a chance to work with Andrea whom he had a lot of respect for, and probably allow him a better chance at work life balance compared to the hectic life of working in the hospital. 

Mark reassured him of his support in whatever he chose to do but repeated again his intention to take good care of him so he did not need to be in any hurry to find work.

They discussed other things as well, such as the various activities that they could do together in Sydney and places that Mark would like to bring Fernando to visit in Australia. All in all, both were very much looking forward to life together.

The one week flew by too quickly and soon it was time for Mark to leave. The parting at the airport was just as hard and lingering as the earlier one at Sydney. Both were loathed to be separated from the other again, but they were at least comforted by the thought that this would be the last time that they had to suffer a long separation. The next time they see each other again, they would finally be together for good.


	12. Together Always

Both Fernando and Mark were very much occupied during those three months that they spent apart. Fernando was busy with completing as much work as he could at the hospital. Even though he could not wait to be with Mark, he was sad to be leaving his job and all his colleagues, so he spent most of his time at work. He also made short weekend visits to his family in Spain and had them come over to London to visit him so that they could spend more time together before he left them to live half way across the globe.

Mark, likewise, was busy with work, but also spent a lot of effort in getting his place ready for Fernando’s arrival. Daniel had moved out about a month after he returned from his trip to London. Mark then had the vacated room converted to a study for Fernando. He also wanted to buy new furniture for their bedroom to ensure that Fernando would be as comfortable as possible in his new home. Mark took care to check his preferences before buying the furniture and getting the rooms done up. Fernando had initially told him that he did not have to go through all the trouble, that he would be happy as long as he was with him, but Mark took such delight in getting it all ready for him that in the end the Spaniard had to let him carry on with the work. Fernando was very touched and appreciative of all his efforts, and expressed in a most loving way to Mark, which pleased him a great deal.

The three months flew by and soon Fernando was in his last week of work at the hospital. He planned to go back to his family home in Spain for a few days before heading to Australia. He had discussed his plans with Mark a few weeks before as they confirmed the date when he would finally arrive in Sydney. The Australian had asked him whether he would like him to come to London again to help him with the move, but he had said no, not wishing to trouble him since he knew full well how busy Mark was.

With two more days before his last day at the hospital, Fernando had handed most of his work to his replacement, who joined the hospital a few weeks ago. Still, he was very busy with wrapping up his remaining tasks and packing up the office that he occupied for a number of years. He finally reached home around nine o’clock that night. As he stepped out of the elevator at his floor, he could not believe his eyes. The person whom he had just been thinking of was right there, sat at his door! Mark was here!

They last talked on the phone the day before. It was a short call as it was during Fernando’s lunch time, and Mark told him that he would not be able to talk to him the next day as he had a very busy day scheduled. The Spaniard was just thinking about when would be a good time to call him the next day. But he was now here, and had fallen asleep with his back resting against the door and a luggage bag next to him. 

“Mark! How did you come to be here?” Fernando exclaimed in wonder, rubbing his eyes to make sure he was not imagining things.

The Australian stirred and woke on hearing his voice, “Hmmm, Fer…. been waiting for you…” He was still a bit disorientated having just woke up and looked very tired.

Fernando quickly helped him up before opening the door and ushered him in. He threw his arms around Mark and held him in a bone crushing hug.

“Oh I’m so sorry, you must have waited very long for me. It’s more than 3 hours since the plane landed, isn’t it? But I had no idea you were coming! It’s so good to see you, I never thought you will be here. Why are you here? Why didn’t you call me?” Fernando was talking rapidly in his excitement to see Mark.

The Australian laughed,”Woah, my darling. Calm down a little. I thought I will spring a little surprise on you since I miss seeing you so much, so here I am!”

“You should have told me, I could have fetch you from the airport instead of letting you wait so long for me at the door that you fell asleep. It must have been very uncomfortable and so tiring after such a long flight!” He was very happy to see Mark, but he felt bad to see him so tired out.

Mark just smiled and shook his head, “ My darling, if I told you that it wouldn’t be much of a surprise, would it? Besides, holding you close makes up for any discomfort I might have had.” 

He closed the small gap between them to kiss him and they melted into each other. They held on for a long time before finally releasing the other. Fernando asked Mark to take a shower as he put together a simple dinner. He then hopped into the shower himself before they had dinner together. The Spaniard was still in a very excited mood over the unexpected visit, and they talked for a long time before finally retiring for the night.

Fernando had to leave for work early the next day while Mark was still sleeping. He left him a note and asked him to relax for the day to recover from his jet lag. He was at his office at noontime, working on a summary report on some of his patients to pass on to his colleagues, when there was a knock at the door. It opened to reveal Mark’s smiling face. He had brought him lunch.

“Hey, darling! Busy?” Mark came in and sat opposite him.

“Uh-uh. Trying to tie up the loose ends. You brought me lunch? Thanks!” Fernando was very happy to see him.

“Yeah, thought you will be busy. I brought you something so that you won’t skip lunch.” 

Fernando put away his things so that they could lay the food out on his desk. Mark had bought Fernando’s favourites, a warm pear salad with roast chicken and tomato basil soup, all of which looked delicious. The Spaniard sat down in the chair next to him and they enjoyed the lunch together. 

As they ate, Mark asked if he needed any help with packing up his office.

“Hmmm, I think not, am almost done. I’ve only got some files and some small things left so that should be easy.” He had already packed up most of his things like his medical books and papers, and shipped them to Sydney.

“Ok, just let me know if you need any help. I reckon you will still be busy up to the last minute with your patients.” Mark knew very well Fernando’s commitment to his work.

“There are still some meetings and consultations today, but I have handed most of my cases to Carlos.” The hospital had coincidentally hired a fellow Spaniard who was a newly qualified paediatrician and he would be closely supervised by Dr Boullier.

Mark nodded, “Good, I’m glad the team won’t be short-handed, though Carlos will need much more experience to reach anywhere near your level, not to mention your dedication to your work. I know how committed you are to this place, and how hard it must be for you to leave. You are giving up such a promising career at this hospital, but even more so, the wonderful work that you have done for the young patients here which I know is much more important to you. I want you to know I am so grateful for this, Fer. I love you so very much.” Mark took his hand and gently held it while looking at Fernando lovingly.

“Mark, I’m glad to know that you understand my attachment to this place, but I am no where nearly as good as what you said. I am just lucky to be doing what I love, but now I know that I love someone even more. I love you so much and I can only be happy if I am with you,” he smiled a beautiful smile at Mark.

The Australian moved forward to tenderly caress his lips, keeping it short and sweet.

"Well, I think I will miss this office too!" Mark said as he looked around the room,"I have some good memories here. Remember two Christmases ago, when you performed that amazing magic show? You were great. But the best part was after that. I have to admit that I was really nervous when I asked you out. I thought you would tell me that you already have plans. And then you offered me those cupcakes. It was really delicious, but not quite as delicious as the way you looked when you were eating yours.” Mark said with a touch of brazenness, looking at him provocatively..

Fernando remembered that day very well indeed, but he was thinking more along the lines of how attractive Mark looked while eating the cupcake, with that annoyingly distracting smudge of chocolate cream above his lips.

“I was actually thinking at that time how tantalising you looked, leaving a smear of chocolate cream above your lips. I was really tempted to lick it off!” Fernando returned with his own sassy rejoinder and smiled roguishly as he saw its effect on him.

“Er hem, looks like Dr Alonso is in a naughty mood today. Wait till we get home…”

Just then, there was a tap at the door and it opened to reveal Jenson. 

“Hey, Fernando, have time to grab lunch? Oh, Mark. You are here!” 

Mark stood up and gave Jenson a hug in greeting.

“Yeah, I got here last night.”

“Here to carry off your Fernando back to Australia with you? You really don’t have to worry about him not going with you. I’ve not seen him so happy before or look so love struck, sometimes it’s like he is about to break into a Spanish love song any moment!” Jenson teased.

“Hey, I didn’t!” Fernando was quick to defend himself.

Mark laughed, imaging a cute image of Fernando serenading while doing his rounds at the hospital. 

“No, I’m not worry at all. Just wanted to see if I could help him with the move. How are things going with you?”

They caught up with each other for a few minutes. Jenson told Mark that he could look for him at his office if he had time to spare later, before leaving to find lunch for himself.

The two of them finished up with their lunch and arranged to meet up after work. Fernando had to go for some meetings so Mark went off to look for Jenson and some of his other colleagues. They met up again for dinner in the evening and went home early, as Mark was eager to put in action what he alluded to just before being interrupted at lunch. 

 

Fernando’s last day at the hospital started early with him going in just past seven in the morning. He had wrapped up most of his work, but this being his last day, he wanted to have more time there. He was feeling a mix of emotions to be leaving. Despite very much looking forward to a new life with Mark, he knew he would miss his colleagues and his work at the hospital. This was the place that he joined shortly after qualifying as a paediatrician and it held so many memories for him, having spent most of his time there for the past number of years. It would certainly be difficult for him to leave all these behind. 

Having Mark here with him made it easier though, and he was really grateful that he came all the way just for him. Mark had been so supportive and understanding, he was like a solid piece of rock that Fernando could lean on and he made him felt so safe and so loved. Just that morning, the Australian had woken up early to make breakfast for him, saying that he wanted to make sure Fernando had a good start to his day. Before he left for work, Mark reiterated how much he loved him and how much he appreciated what he was giving up to be with him, ensuring that Fernando went out the door with a smile.

He went about his day as he always did, doing ward visits with his team of nurses. The nurses were all very sad to see him go and told him that they would miss him very much. During the visits, some of the parents of patients also wished him farewell and expressed their appreciation for his excellent care of their child. All these added to his pensive mood, although he did his best to rally his spirits and kept cheerful in front of his staff and patients.

He was back in his office just before noon to pack up his remaining things. There would just be a couple more meetings and a final wrap up with Carlos and Dr Boullier, and then he would be done. He heard a knock on his door and in came Penny. 

“Dr Alonso, sorry to bother you, but there is something that we need your help with. Can you come with me please?” Penny asked 

“Sure.” Fernando followed her. He was expecting to go towards the wards but instead she led him towards the staff room. With a smile, she opened the door and beckoned him to enter.

“Surprise!” There was a cheerful cry from everyone in the room. His boss, colleagues including fellow doctors and nurses were all in the room, beaming at him. Mark was there too, standing behind together with Jenson. 

“Oh!” Fernando was indeed surprised as he looked at the people gathered.

"We’ve organised a little farewell party for you, Fernando. You didn’t think we will let you go just like that?” Dr Boullier smiled and clapped him on the shoulder.

“Thank you! Thank you everyone!” Fernando felt very touched by this. He didn’t expect it as everyone was usually so busy in the hospital, and here they all were, gathered together for him.

He went around to talk to everyone, and they all gave him their well wishes. There was lunch catered so it was a good time with lots of chatter and good food. Fernando was talking to the two Nicos when he felt a light tap on his shoulder. He turned to see Mark , handing a plate of food to him.

“Fer, don’t forget to eat.”

Fernando accepted the plate and smiled appreciatively at Mark’s thoughtfulness.

“Look how caring Mark is towards Fernando! Why can’t you do the same for me?” Nico H complained to his Nico.

“Well, I would have done it if you have not already stuffed your face first!’ Nico R retorted.

“Woah, you two are still the same!” Mark laughed.

“That’s how we are, and we love the way we are!” Nico H said cheekily as the pair of them made faces at each other.

“I think we best let these two love birds have some time with each other. Come Nico, let me get you what you want.” Nico R said as they walked away, leaving Mark with Fernando.

“I didn’t expect to see you here! You knew about this beforehand?” Fernando asked.

“Jenson told me about it the day before. I couldn’t tell you since it is supposed to a surprise for you.” 

“Yeah, it’s a nice surprise and so good to see so many people here. Am so glad you are here too.”

Fernando happily tucked in to the food that Mark took for him, and continued talking to him and others. The gathering went on for a little while more before Dr Boullier called the attention of everyone.

“Today, as we all know, is Fernando’s last day working with us. On behalf of everyone here, I would like to thank him for his wonderful service to this hospital, and offer him our very best wishes. Since Fernando joined us a few years ago, he has been a brilliant and dedicated doctor most committed to helping our patients as best as he can. I think I can say without a doubt that all of us here enjoyed working with him very much. We will definitely miss you a lot, Fernando, but we are also very happy for you to be able to go where your heart is.” Dr Boullier paused as everyone applauded.

Penny handed Dr Boullier a beautifully wrapped box. “ Now, we have a little token for you, from all of us, wishing you the best.” He gave Fernando the box.

Fernando was very touched by Dr Boullier’s words and everyone’s sweet gesture with the farewell gift. He held on to the box and smiled appreciatively at everyone, thanking them most sincerely. Penny urged him to open the box. He removed the ribbons and paper carefully and opened the box within. There were three things inside. One was a beautiful dress watch, the second was a magic tricks kit, and the third was a thick album.

The watch was a simple but very elegant timepiece, just suited for him. The magic tricks set had many different props and even a book about various tricks for performance. Fernando loved both of these, but the last, the album, was the most special. He flipped through the album and was genuinely moved by its content. The first few pages contained photos of him and his colleagues at various events, both formal and informal, with captions describing each occasion. It was then followed by selfies of his colleagues with messages for him penned by the subject under each photo. The last section was filled with photos from his patients, some of whom were treated by Fernando when they were babies, with well wishes from the children or their parents written with the photos. All these were meticulously arranged in the album, serving as a wonderful memoir of his time at the hospital. His eyes welled as he looked through the album, remembering the times gone by and feeling so touched by the efforts put into making this special gift for him.

“Thank you so much for all of these gifts. They are wonderful and I really love them all. This,” Fernando held up the album, “is truly amazing. I cannot imagine how much time and effort went into it. I can only say thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the gifts which will serve to remind me of the wonderful times that I spent working with all of you here. It was really my privilege to have the opportunity to work with you all. I have learned so much from everyone and I will always treasure the memories I have of my time here. I will miss all of you very much and hope we can keep in touch.”

Fernando was feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the emotions sweeping through him. His speech was short but everyone knew that it was heartfelt and they applauded him. This was followed by hugs and handshakes from everyone before the gathering ended as his colleagues had to return to their busy schedules. 

“Well, Fernando, we will miss you very much too. I’m glad you like the gifts. They are from all of us, but I think you should know that your nurses are the ones who spent the most effort getting all of them together, especially the album. It was their idea and they spent a lot of time gathering all the photos and putting the album together. It’s really quite remarkable.” Dr Boullier told him before giving him a hug and leaving.

Fernando approached Penny and the rest of his team of nurses and expressed his appreciation to them again. There was big hugs and even some tears as the nurses were truly sad to see him go.

“Well, Dr Alonso, we will really miss you, but we are very happy for you and Dr Webber,” Penny said, and then added with a smile, “we are glad that you like the gifts. We hope the watch and the album will help you remember us. And don’t forget to practise your magic tricks with the kit that we got you so that you can continue to cheer the kids that you see in Australia!”

“Yes, I will. Thank you so much for all of these. It’s really so thoughtful of all of you and you must have spent so much time and effort. I really love each one of the presents. And thanks so much also for being the best and most supportive nurses for me. I will miss you all so much.” Fernando was full of gratitude to his nurses and expressed it so.

After helping to clear the things in the staff room, Fernando went back to his office together with Mark.

“That was a really nice gathering,” Mark told him.

Fernando nodded, “Yes, I am very touched by it all. I will really miss this place, ” he sighed.

“Oh, Fer! I know.” He pulled him into a hug and rubbed his back.

“I’m so glad you are here with me, cariño,” Fernando said softly, feeling calmed by his soothing actions.

“I’m happy to be here too,” Mark kissed him gently on his forehead.

They spent a few more quiet moments together. Nothing needed to be said as Fernando was much comforted by Mark’s calming presence. Before long, Fernando switched back to work mode and left his office to attend some meetings. They arranged to meet up again in the evening.

It was late in the afternoon when Fernando was done with all the meetings and handover. Dr Boullier and Carlos both offered their best wishes to him again at the end of the meeting before bidding him goodbye. He walked to the children’s ward one more time, his impending departure now weighing heavily on him. There were so many memories for him there and it was difficult for him to leave it all behind at that moment. His team of nurses were all at the ward. On seeing him, they surrounded him for a final round of farewell. There were more hugs and goodbyes as they made him promise to visit them whenever he came back to London. Soon, it was time to go. Fernando went back to his office to collect his remaining things and was pleasantly surprised to see Mark waiting for him inside.

“Hey, all done?” Mark was helping him pack up the few things remaining.

“Yeah, all done. Didn’t expect to see you here. I thought we were meeting up outside?” Fernando gave him a small smile.

“Thought I should drop by in case you need some help with your things,” Mark noticed the sadness around his eyes despite his smile. “Everything alright?” He asked as he gently pulled him into his embrace.

"Yes, I’m good,” Fernando’s reply was muffled as he buried his face in Mark’s shoulders, once again calmed by the Australians’s closeness.

“You look a little sad, my darling. I understand, I know how attached you are to this place and the people here. It must be so hard for you to leave everything behind,” he said with empathy.

“I will miss it here,” he heaved a sigh, “ I’m feeling a bit sad now, but you being here makes it so much better. Thanks for coming here for me, Mark. I appreciate it so much.” Fernando looked up at him and said sincerely.

“I’m glad to be here with you. It’s nothing compared to what you are doing for me. Giving up everything and moving half way across the world to be with me. I love you so much, Fer.”

“I love you very much too, cariño,” Fernando respond with equal fervour, “it’s not a sacrifice for me at all to leave here and go with you. In fact, I think I have everything to gain.”

Mark was touched, “I think it is I who should be saying that, my darling. I really can’t tell you enough how much I love you.” He couldn’t demonstrate it either, given where they were, and thus have to be contented with a chaste but sweet kiss.

'Shall we go home? I was thinking you may prefer a quiet evening at home tonight, so I have prepared something for dinner at your place.” Mark suggested once they resumed talking.

“Great idea, that is just what I need!’ Fernando was touched by his thoughtfulness. There was indeed nothing he preferred more than a quiet evening at home curled up next to Mark.

They gathered all the things and as they prepared to leave, Fernando took one last look at his office, a place almost like a second home for the past few years, before turning off the lights and closing the door. It was akin to closing a chapter in his life, he was sad at that moment, but at the same time, very much looking forward to starting a new life with his beloved.

The next day, Jenson planned a farewell dinner for him together with their usual group of doctors, plus a couple more, with Kimi and Kevin also joining. Coincidentally, it was at the same pub where Fernando saw the couple almost three years ago. However, his mood could not be more different. With Mark by his side, there was not a trace left of the broken-hearted man that he was all that time ago. In fact, he was really glad to have the chance to catch up with the recently wedded couple, who looked very happy together. Kimi managed to talk to him for a few minutes in private, telling him how glad he was that he had finally found someone so suited to him and expressing his sincere wishes for a most happy life together.

It was a great evening with lots of talking, laughing and reminiscing on old times. Fernando got rather tipsy with all the toasts made to him and Mark, but he was grateful to be able to spend such a wonderful time with all his friends before leaving. At the end of the night, much like the last time he was at that pub, a drunk Fernando was brought home by Mark. This time, however, there could be no doubt where the Spaniard’s affections resided, and whose name he was calling out for; with Mark fully able to enjoy just how adorable Fernando was when he was drunk.

Two days later, they took a flight to Spain to visit Fernando’s family. Another reason that Mark had come was also to meet his family, since they had yet to meet. When they came out of the arrival hall, his parents were already waiting for them. They welcomed Mark warmly, and the Australian could tell immediately how much they loved their son, even though he could hardly understand any of the Spanish that were spoken amongst the three of them. Fernando’s parents could not speak much English but they did their best to make Mark feel welcomed. 

Dinner that night was a sumptuous meal at home prepared by Fernando’s mother. His sister, Lorena and her family joined them as well. It was a wonderful family gathering; Mark tried his best to join in the conversation and was helped along by Fernando and his sister. Lorena, like her brother, was a doctor, but in a different field, specialising in sports medicine. She was fluent in English, and Mark had a great time talking to her. Lorena shared some of the funny exploits of her brother when he was young, which Fernando tried in vain to stop, so he could do nothing but joined in the laughter around the table as she told the funny stories. 

After dinner, Fernando helped his mother with the cleaning up and getting dessert ready. As he came out of the kitchen, he saw Mark and Lorena deep in conversation in one corner of the room. They were so engrossed that they did not notice him approaching them. He managed to hear the tail end of what Mark was saying.

“……I promise I will take good care of him, Lorena.”

Lorena was about to say something when she noticed Fernando. She smiled at him and said, “Nano, come join us.”

Fernando was intrigued by what he heard and asked directly, “ What were you talking about?”

“Oh, nothing much. We were just chatting,” Mark said with a little too much nonchalance.

Fernando wanted to ask further but his mother came out and asked everyone to gather for dessert. The evening continued on with more chatter and laughter, but Fernando’s mind could not help drifting back to what he heard.

At the end of the night, they retired back to Fernando’s room. Mark had been very glad earlier that afternoon to see Fernando’s childhood home, especially his room, which his parents kept as it was. There were many photographs of him as a child and at different stages of his life, as well as various medals, awards and certificates showing his academic achievements displayed proudly by his parents all over the house. He had a great time looking at all these and felt that they allowed him a greater glimpse into the person that was his most beloved. Of particular interest to Mark was a photo in his room, showing a very young Fernando in racing overalls, and several trophies next to it. When asked, he was told that Fernando had raced in karts when he was very young and had actually won many competitions in karting, but later had to give it up as he focused more on his studies. Mark had joked that it was fortunate that he did not pursue a racing career, as it would have meant that he would only get to see him on TV and would never have a chance to know him as he did now.

As they curled up next to each other in bed, Fernando took the chance to ask about the conversation with his sister. Mark was quite reluctant to tell him any details, but Fernando was so persistent that he finally relented. He explained that they had talked about them being together and the move to Australia. Lorena was upfront with Mark and told him about her concern for her brother’s well being and her worry that he might be hurt once again if it did not work out. The Spaniard was quite indignant at his sister’s questioning and told him that he had previously explained to his family about his decision to be with Mark.

“Lorena, and I believe, your parents, are understandably concerned that you will be moving so far away from all your family and friends to be with this guy whom they have just met. So she was just trying to get to know me a little more. You know, just to make sure I’m not a maniac or something,” Mark tried to joke about it.

Fernando gave him a little jab and said, “ Well, I think I would have known if you were a mad man so they should trust my judgement a little bit more.”

“Of course they do, Fer. But I can tell, within the first moments of meeting your parents and your sister that they love you very much and only want the best for you. So I can totally understand their thinking because it is the same for me. This is also why I made this trip because I can imagine how anxious they will be if their most precious boy were to fly off half way across the world to be with someone they have not even met.”

“Hey, I’m not a boy any more,’ Fernando pouted.

“Ha, I think I am looking at one now,” Mark laughed which prompted further jabbing from him.

When the teasing and jabbing finally stopped, Mark told Fernando that he did not mind the doubts from his sister and he hoped that his family would be reassured that he would do all in his power to make him happy. 

Over the next few days, they spent some time exploring the sights of Fernando’s hometown and met up with some of his childhood friends. Most of the time though were spent with family and as they got to know Mark better, they could see for themselves how much he truly loved their son. Fernando also spoke to his parents and sister to assuage any remaining worries that they might have.

All too soon it was time for them to leave. The parting was not easy, especially for Fernando’s parents and his sister, but they could take comfort in the fact that he would be moving forward to a much anticipated new life with his beloved. Well wishes and entreaties to keep in close touch and visiting each other were exchanged before they boarded the plane to return to London. 

They stayed in London for two more days to pack up all of Fernando’s belongings and settled any remaining business he had. When they finally embarked on their much awaited flight to Sydney, Fernando was excited to be finally realising what he had been longing for the past few months, but at the same time feeling a little sad to leave the place that was essentially his home for more than fifteen years. However, the fact that he and Mark would no longer be separated more than made up for any sadness, and he boarded the plane in good spirits. The plane journey was long, but unlike the past trips when either of them were flying alone, they had each other and thus could even enjoy the arduousness of flying on a long haul flight. Being together with each other truly made all the difference.

When they finally arrived at Mark’s home in Sydney, both of them were tired from the long travel, but extremely happy to be able to start their life together. 

Once past the door, Mark pulled Fernando into a tight embrace and said enthusiastically, “Welcome home, my darling!” before engaging him in a deep passionate kiss.

“Thanks for the wonderful welcome,’ Fernando said cheekily after they finally released each other.

Mark was keen to show him the new furnishings to the house that he made for him. He led Fernando to the new study that he converted from Daniel’s room.

“Ta-dah! Here is your study, my darling,” Mark presented the room with a flourish. 

Fernando was amazed by how much effort that had been put into it. Even though he had seen the room when he talked to Mark via Face Time, it looked even better up close. The whole room was totally remodelled, with the walls painted a light cream colour contrasting with the beautiful dark mahogany wood furniture that was custom made. There was a large study table with a very comfortable looking high back leather chair, and shelves lining the walls, allowing ample space for his many books and papers. A two seater lounger by the opposite wall with a small coffee table completed the furnishings.

“I hope you like it?” Mark was looking at him expectantly.

“Of course I like it, in fact I love it! Wow, this looks amazing. You must have put so much effort into it! Thank you so much!” Fernando beamed a beautiful smile at him.

“You’re most welcomed, my darling. Well, there was some work, but mainly done by the contractors. I just had to make sure they kept to what we wanted.” Mark made light of his efforts, but Fernando knew just how much time and care he put into it, besides the cost of it all. He was really touched by it.

“I really love it. I think we can spend many hours here doing our work, reading and all sort of things!” 

“Yeah, if you don’t mind me coming in once in a while. This is your study and your space!”

“Oh, I thought we are sharing this?”

“Well, I have my own study. Remember the one next to the bedroom? I will continue to use that one.”

Fernando remembered the room from his first visit. It was a small, simply furnished room that Mark used as his study. 

“Yes, I remember it. Did you renovate that room too?”

“No, I left it as it is.”

“And yet, you did all these for me! Thank you so much,” Fernando was so moved and he looked at Mark appreciatively, “I think we have to share this room. I’ll love to have you in here with me!”

“Of course, if you don’t mind. But I think you will need your own space sometimes, though I hope not too often. That’s why I think this room should be yours.”

“You are so good to me.” Fernando felt so loved and treasured by Mark who was always so thoughtful and considerate towards to him

“Come, let me know show you our bedroom,” Mark took his hand and led him out towards the master bedroom.

The bedroom remained largely as Fernando remembered it, but on closer look, he noticed that there was a lot of work done too. There was a new large king size bed, the walls were repainted and the carpets were also new. It looked very cosy and comfortable indeed.

“This looks wonderful! You have do so much work here too.” 

“Oh, not too much here. Just wanted it to be as comfortable as possible for you.”

Fernando noticed that there were quite a few more photo frames added to the one with the Christmas photo now sitting on both bed stands on either side. There were photos that they took together during his last visit as well as Mark’s visit to London. Before he could look closely at the photos, his attention was caught by the little lion dressed in Spanish colours, sitting proudly at the head of the bed.

“Say hello to the little Spanish lion,” Mark said with glee.

“Well, hello! Good to see you finally!” Fernando greeted cheerfully,” I think I have to fetch you companion so that you can meet.” He ran out to the living room where they left the luggage and quickly opened the one which held the Markoala and brought it to the room.

He placed the Markoala lovingly next to the little Spanish lion on the bed.

“There, you both are finally together!” Fernando said happily.

“As they should be,” Mark stood behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling Fernando into his warm embrace as he placed a sweet tender kiss on his cheek. “Together always.”

Finis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it, a simple little love story!
> 
> I really had a lot of fun writing this and I hope you enjoyed reading it. Thank you to all for reading my little story. Many thanks too to all those who left kudos and comments. They are much appreciated!


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